General Etiquette > Etiquette Hell Classics

Serenity Sooner please? (story 2 of 5 from old board)

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mrsbrandt:
I posted earlier about a Thanksgiving situation involving some of DH’s family. It was the Serenity Now post. Well the BTB/MTB (Christy) called two days ago, we’re invited to her wedding reception on Dec. 2nd. There will be no paper/email invites. Our daughter is invited as well, so we will be able to attend. I wasn’t sure if I could get a sitter on such short notice. We get to meet fiancée/soon to be husband for the first time at Thanksgiving dinner, which should be interesting.

SIDE NOTE: DH talked to Christy (it’s his cousin) and apparently she is getting married, because lots of people think she should, since she’s preggers. <<cringe>> I’m really trying to not be too judgmental, but Christy doesn’t make good choices, but then again it’s not my life.

Well, DH and I have since had a bit of a disagreement on deciding how much money to give the new couple. FWIW DH is a student, and I’m supporting our family of 3 (plus baby on the way), so we don’t have tons of cash handy, but we’re not po’ either. I’d say we’re frugal. Normally for a wedding present we’d give $50-$100 in the form of a check. We’re planning on giving them a check for a wedding gift, but we can’t decide on how much to give.

DH wants to give $20. I think that would offensive. Just because we (and the majority of the family feel like their marriage isn’t a good decision at the moment) doesn’t mean that we should give less than half of what we normally would. Should it? I think we should give $50, DH has agreed to compromise on $30. The place they’re having the wedding reception is a local dive bar, so I know with $30 we’d be covering at least the cost of our plates.

How much would you give for a cousin’s shotgun wedding (her term not mine), when Christy has only known the GTB for the past 5 months? And she is actually 3 and a half months pregnant. And they’ve just decided to blow lots of money on a wedding reception, but are moving back into his parent’s home since they can’t afford the trailer’s mortgage? How much money would you give as a wedding gift, when you don’t condone of someone’s lifestyle or choices but you love them anyway, since they’re family?

I don’t want to be rude to Christy, because she’s just a good person just a bit too immature to be making these decisions, IMO (which I haven’t voiced to anyone but DH and you E-Hellions). I know I can’t say anything, but it seems like the majority of the family would be very happy if they got married, but if they could wait so they’ve known each other a little bit longer. She’s really a very sweet girl, just makes some very impulsive and not so well thought out decisions.

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