Author Topic: Thanks-E-Hell! Your Advice Paid Off!  (Read 5349 times)

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laughtermed

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Thanks-E-Hell! Your Advice Paid Off!
« on: November 08, 2013, 07:41:45 PM »
I am returning home next week to my home state to visit family. Before making travel plans, I contacted Sib #1 to ask if the dates I selected would work. She agreed and said make your plans. I booked my flight, rental car, and hotel. I told Sib #2 of the dates who seemed OK at the time. Last weekend Sib #2 calls me and asks me to change the trip to one month later because it interferes with hunting season that he and Sib #3 look forward to every year. He sighs and just says "It's a bad time for everyone". I replied, "Everyone is busy all year". He reiterates, "You need to change your plans." I answer, 'I'm sorry that won't be possible. I'm not changing them. If you can't see me that week, I'm sorry". I felt my anger rising and hung up since I could no longer say anything else.

I am making this trip primarily to visit an elderly relative in poor health anyway and none of the 3 sibs have been asked to put me up in their homes or entertain me for the 6 days of the visit. If I traveled the next month, the bitter cold of my home state would probably cause me to have severe joint pain.

Sib #2 calls back repeatedly that day and I do not return any of the calls.

The next day he called, I was in a better frame of mind to deal with him. He said he was sorry and that it was only just an idea. I explained that life was too short to quarrel and hoped to see him sometime when I was there.

Sib #1 was amazed he called back to say he was sorry since he can be very difficult.

So I would like to thank this forum for all the support I have received to be able to do this and resolve a family conflict quickly and peacefully.

jayhawk

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Re: Thanks-E-Hell! Your Advice Paid Off!
« Reply #1 on: November 08, 2013, 10:01:11 PM »
Admiring that shiny, titanium spine you're sporting there!

TootsNYC

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Re: Thanks-E-Hell! Your Advice Paid Off!
« Reply #2 on: November 08, 2013, 10:19:50 PM »
Quote
felt my anger rising and hung up since I could no longer say anything else.




How very wise you are!

(and by "everyone," he meant him)

Oh Joy

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Re: Thanks-E-Hell! Your Advice Paid Off!
« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2013, 09:43:13 AM »
This is your hometown and family, I understand.  Was this part of hunting season important?

I ask because it's deer opener here today, and lots of families and organizations plan their fall around keeping this weekend open for those who will be gone or busy.  Heck, I was engaged to someone once who wanted to make sure we didn't conceive nine months earlier because it would create a standing conflict.  ;-)

Back to business, I only ask to get a feel of regional culture and norms. 

Twik

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Re: Thanks-E-Hell! Your Advice Paid Off!
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2013, 03:10:33 PM »
Even if Sib2 had plans to hunt the snark, it does not entitle him to dictate his sister's travel plans.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

laughtermed

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Update : Thanks-E-Hell! Your Advice Paid Off!
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2013, 07:25:01 PM »
Back to Joy's question about the hunting-it was bow season for deer. During Day 2 of my visit, Sib #2 got a doe.  He was able to go to a family lunch the next day. I got a private visit with him and his family, so all went well. Sib 3 does not participate in bow season-he waits for shotgun season which would have been after the visit.

Hunting season or not, a relative who raised us is in ill health. She lives in a nursing home. She almost passed away last year but has since rebounded a little. Therefore visiting this person was a priority that all the family could  agree on.

We hope family peace continues.

gramma dishes

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Re: Thanks-E-Hell! Your Advice Paid Off!
« Reply #6 on: November 20, 2013, 09:27:42 PM »
I'm glad your visit went well.  And congratulations on your blindingly sparkly new spine!   :)

dave_nun

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Re: Thanks-E-Hell! Your Advice Paid Off!
« Reply #7 on: December 18, 2013, 04:11:03 PM »
i too am looking forward to using some of the tips on here next time i need them.

bloo

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Re: Update : Thanks-E-Hell! Your Advice Paid Off!
« Reply #8 on: December 19, 2013, 01:16:19 PM »
Thanks for sharing this, OP! I think you handled yourself well!

For the record, regarding the bolded, we have a very long bow season and a verrrrry short gun/muzzleloader season. I could see Sib#2 panicking a bit while he tried to figure out how to squeeze in time with you during gun season, but in our area, he'd have a period of several months to choose dates for hunting during bow season.

As you acknowledged that Sib#2 can be 'difficult', then he may have behaved that way no matter what.

Good job!

Back to Joy's question about the hunting-it was bow season for deer. During Day 2 of my visit, Sib #2 got a doe.  He was able to go to a family lunch the next day. I got a private visit with him and his family, so all went well. Sib 3 does not participate in bow season-he waits for shotgun season which would have been after the visit.

Hunting season or not, a relative who raised us is in ill health. She lives in a nursing home. She almost passed away last year but has since rebounded a little. Therefore visiting this person was a priority that all the family could  agree on.

We hope family peace continues.