Tom is a big baby and should stay home because his whining will ruin the party. We were just rewarded at work with a steak dinner for acing a corporate inspection. Head of the dining area came to me after the announcement and said "Don't worry Veghead(his term of endearment for me), I will get you some garden burgers". I told him he did not have to do that, I could eat the sides and I didn't need any special treatment (I am seriously the only vegetarian out of 70 some employees!) but he made some (and others ate some too!) and made sure there were sides I could eat (he made loaded potatos so that was out but the risotto? yumyumyum!) I hatehatehate people who make their dietary choices (Not allergies, choices) every stinking persons issues because then everyone is looking at me suspiciously like I am going to knock the fork out of their hand and start screaming at them.
Since when does a guest get to demand that the hostess prepares a special dish just for you? Then to top it off he's griping about it, as if he's entitled to make demands on the hostess.
Talk about being a special snowflake.
I'm a Catholic. When I was young we weren't allowed to eat meat on Friday. Strange I know, but it was considered a way to show God you were willing to make a sacrifice in His name.
Since a lot of parties and events occur on Friday this came up often. Sometimes, people who knew you were Catholic would serve an entree you could eat, but often they never even thought of it, because why would they?
We NEVER suggested to anyone that they make something special. You simply ate the potatoes and salad, or ate a hamburger bun with tomato and mayonnaise.
Honestly, there are a lot worse things in life than not being able to eat some of the food at a party.
The two of you are people I'd love to have over!
I've mentioned before that when I have dietary restrictions, I believe it is my responsibility to handle them, not make them other people's responsibility.
We just had 200+ over to our place recently and we served a pricey main dish fried in peanut oil. One of our friends is allergic to the type of food (not the oil) so he just ate other stuff. Which was fine, there was a lot of other stuff to eat. But another one of our friends, Jan, has quite a list of foods she can't eat without being on the toilet all night. She was bemoaning that she couldn't partake of the main dish because of the breading we were using so my DH fried up a few pieces for her w/o the breading. I thought that was nice. She did too and happily ate the food. Much later she asked DH what type of oil the food was fried in and he told her it was peanut oil and then she was upset because she was allergic to it. Not like she goes into anaphylaxis but she will be on the toilet all night long. I'm sympathetic, but if you know you're allergic or sensitive to a particular oil for frying, then it's your responsibility to ask what type of oil the food that's being offered to you is fried in.
When I was rearranging dishes on tables, she was complaining out loud that there was nothing she could eat. I said, "I'm really sorry," and she responded with, "Oh don't be sorry! It's not your fault!" I thought to myself, 'I know it's not my fault but what else can I say?'
. DH sometimes goes to sporting events with Jan and her husband and DH tells me she spends a great deal of time complaining about the lack of food options for her. Also at smaller get-togethers she doesn't really socialize as much as she walks around and fiddles with things.
A couple of days later, I was on the phone with Jan's mom to discuss something else, and she gently admonished me that we should have had a sign up that the food was being fried in peanut oil the way some restaurants do. Now, this isn't a bad or wrong idea and I may even do it.
But we didn't have any issues with food allergies with anyone else because however many of the 200+ people at our house that had them, managed them - themselves.
So I explained to Jan's mom that I may put up some kind of sign next time we do this but took the opportunity to tell her that Jan would probably be a lot happier at get-togethers if she just focused on the socializing. I've had dietary restrictions that I've been dealing with for 4 years and unlike with Jan, few people even notice because I behave in such a way as to not call attention to it. You'd only know if you were inviting me for hospitality and asked
me if there was anything I can't eat. I mentioned my own food restrictions and said that if there is something I can't eat I just eat what I can or bring food or eat pre-emptively and just focus on having a good time with other people. I told her when I'm at someone else large party, I'd be playing volleyball, cornhole, dancing, listening to music and just chatting with all kinds of people. Jan's mom agreed with me that Jan would be happier if she quit crumbing about the food and just hang out with friends. She gets the brunt of Jan's complaining, I think. And then we changed the subject.
I think Jan is 'stuck' in her grieving process (it really is lousy to have to give up so many foods) but it's been over two years now so she will (IMO) be happier if she moves on from it.
And in case it's not obvious, I'm Team Tina all the way and think Tom is a special snowflake.