I don't feel for Tom at all. Tina is 100% hosting her party, and Tom is outright stating her hosting is not good enough and is upset that she won't cave in, exactly, to his demands. I don't see at all how Tina is at fault at all here or why she should be expected to alter her hosting to someone who is, essentially, spitting on her offering. Tina would be well within her rights to say, "Don't come to my party; obviously, nothing short of only doing what you want would be good enough." My ToxicSis pulled this maneuver (even stating in an e-mail "You don't have to count me for your catering because I won't be eating any of your food"); gotta say -- never missed her at my wedding for a single moment (what a freakin' cow!). And, I'm definitely not saying they are all like this, but ToxicSis also recently became a vegan -- organic only, as well -- so she thinks only her way is the right way and will cross all sorts of etiquette boundaries to proclaim to all and sundry that SHE speaks the "truth." That's fine, ToxicSis and Toms of the world, you lead your righteous, unhappy lives out there away from the rest of us then! Glory in you standing your entitled ground with your like-minded SS others!