Author Topic: See you maybe?  (Read 5949 times)

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knitwicca

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Re: See you maybe?
« Reply #30 on: July 13, 2014, 11:01:52 AM »
Generally speaking, if a text or email is not clear, I think a person should ask follow up questions. Why waste time readng into what was said? Just ask for clarification. "Does it work better if we plan for Sunday earlier in the day? Would 10:00 work?" No need to create "maybe this or maybe that" scenarios. For me, if i cannot joke around with a partner or ask what is meant if something seems off, it's not the relationship for me. So if these exchanges really do offend you, OP, maybe he's just not for you and that's okay! But based on what we have been told I don't personally think he is rude or sending you a message of wanting his way or the highway or keeping you as a backup plan. He came across , to me, as happily and appropriately conveying he wants to see you without being pushy.

Shortly after my divorce, I dated a guy who sometimes had to travel for business, usually to the other side of the world. His boss was notorious for saying, on Friday afternoon, "my assistant booked your travel to Germany. Get the info before you leave today."  The flight out would be for that weekend. And my guy had no warning until Friday.  I got a lot of "I am sorry" phone calls, calls from other countries and little gifts from around the world. What I did not get was time with him.

A few months ago, he contracted me with the idea of trying again. He changed compnies and rarely needs to travel outside the country.
I agreed to go out with him. He postponed.
We rescheduled. He postponed.
Again and again.

It has gotten to the point that my BFF and I make bets on how soon after we make plans will he text to postpone, reschedule or simply apologize.

In the meantime, I date other men who actually follow through.

weeblewobble

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Re: See you maybe?
« Reply #31 on: July 27, 2014, 08:02:13 AM »
People who like you, will take the time to see you, no matter what else they have going on in their lives. And they certainly don't stall you and give noncommittal messages that state that they'll see you, maybe, if you turn out to be more important than whatever they have going.

Maybe New Guy is just bad at communication.  But you're coming out of relationship where you were (generally) the low priority on the list, with a guy so bad at communicating he can't seem to do it without hurting you.  This is probably not the match you want.

spookycatlady

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Re: See you maybe?
« Reply #32 on: July 31, 2014, 08:17:10 AM »
Oh weeblewobble-- that just hit me right in the feels.  In a good way.

The ex had once said that my poor communication skills were the cause of 90% of our marital problems.  I think you hit the nail on the head about what I thought the real problem was.

Thank you!

JenJay

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Re: See you maybe?
« Reply #33 on: July 31, 2014, 11:46:08 AM »
Oh weeblewobble-- that just hit me right in the feels.  In a good way.

The ex had once said that my poor communication skills were the cause of 90% of our marital problems.  I think you hit the nail on the head about what I thought the real problem was.

Thank you!

Your communication skills? Yours? Where's that little emoti of the guy ripping his hair out?!  :o

Twik

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Re: See you maybe?
« Reply #34 on: July 31, 2014, 02:29:56 PM »
Oh weeblewobble-- that just hit me right in the feels.  In a good way.

The ex had once said that my poor communication skills were the cause of 90% of our marital problems.  I think you hit the nail on the head about what I thought the real problem was.

Thank you!

Your communication skills? Yours? Where's that little emoti of the guy ripping his hair out?!  :o

I presume her deficiency lay in not knowing that he what he said was not what he meant.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

weeblewobble

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Re: See you maybe?
« Reply #35 on: August 01, 2014, 05:24:10 PM »
((((((SPOOKY)))))))

Yes, how dare you believe what he said and expect him to be accountable to what he promised you. Clearly, your communication skills were very poor.  ::)