General Etiquette > Life...in general

The mystery of the disappearing babysitter

(1/5) > >>

Ceallach:
Short version:  the babysitter didn't show up one day and I haven't heard from her since.    I'm not sure whether to attempt to contact her just to see what happened and if she's ok, or if to move on.

Long version: When my son "Caleb" was 3 months old I hired a "mother's helper" privately through the local craigslist type site to assist me for a few hours a week around the house and with the baby (I live overseas from my family so it was literally my only support/break except for when my DH was home).   She adored Caleb, and her and I found we got along well and enjoyed chatting.    Eventually it got to the point I would trust her to take him for a walk while I was working. She gave us lots of hand me down items and toys from her own son (5 year old).  All was well for 5 months.   Then for two weeks in a row she called in sick on short notice - once was an emergency with her son, and then next she was unwell.   I was fine with it.    Then the following week she contacted me and said that with her new semester of university starting she was feeling quite stressed and would rather not commit to anything for awhile, but to please contact her if there were any adhoc days I needed from time to time.

Two months later I sms'd her and asked if she was free Thursday, she said no she was doing prep for the wedding she was a bridesmaid in on the weekend so things were crazy, but that she would love to do the following week.  I replied that I didn't need next week but in two week's time so would let her know.  She said great etc.   Following week I SMS to see how she was and if she would like to do the next Thursday, she said yes, asked what time, and expressed her excitement and how much she was looking forward to seeing Caleb. We agreed to 12pm and she asked me to bring the pram so she can take him for a walk.   ...

On the day, I was upstairs with Caleb and needed to pick up the pram from the car for her, so about 2 minutes to 12 I called to see how far away she was so I could time when I needed to go out, so as to not keep her waiting.  (Can't see the door from inside).  I got no answer.   Never mind, she was probably driving still or looking for a carpark.   So I headed out to get the pram anyway and then waited downstairs... for 20 minutes.   At which point I sent a friendly SMS just checking how far away she was.   No response.  And I have literally heard nothing since, 2 weeks later.   :o

I took that as basically getting the cut direct, that she's decided she doesn't want to work for me for whatever reason, and was perhaps embarrassed at leaving me in the lurch.     But I keep wondering....     should I be making contact to give her the opportunity to explain?  Or just respect the fact that she clearly doesn't want contact?   For the record, don't think it's a safety issue as I know she has a very strong family and friend support, so if anything bad had happened / emergency she will be well taken care of.   And I guess that's another reason I don't want to hassle her if something truly awful has happened.  It feels like such a strange, awkward situation to me.   I don't want to keep wondering what happened, but at the same time, there seems nothing to be gained by making contact.   And if I were to contact her, what would I say?

Katana_Geldar:
Find someone else and stop trying to contact her. Even the busiest person in the world has the time to return a phone call and say "I'm sorry, I won't be able work for you any more" or something of the like.

Worst thing is she left you in the lurch without any explanation. Just let it go and find someone else. If she calls again, tell her how she's shown that she cannot be relied upon and didn't even give you the courtesy of a call.

m2kbug:
At this point I don't think I would try any further contact.

If you call, you could say, "Hi, it's Caellah.  I wanted to check up on you and make sure you're okay, since I never heard from you.  Would you call me back to let me know you're okay?" 

If she doesn't contact you, you tried.  It's done.

NyaChan:
Do you have any interest in hiring her again for babysitting or are you done?  I probably would contact her again just to see what happened and to let her know that I either wouldn't be contacting her about babysitting anymore or to indicate that I was still willing to use her as a babysitter if she was actually interested in working for me.  Personally I would not be using her anymore.

Ceallach:

--- Quote from: Katana_Geldar on November 14, 2013, 07:22:11 PM ---Find someone else and stop trying to contact her. Even the busiest person in the world has the time to return a phone call and say "I'm sorry, I won't be able work for you any more" or something of the like.

Worst thing is she left you in the lurch without any explanation. Just let it go and find someone else. If she calls again, tell her how she's shown that she cannot be relied upon and didn't even give you the courtesy of a call.

--- End quote ---

Just to be clear, I haven't tried to contact her!     I tried to call her on the day to see how far away she was, she didn't answer, and then she didn't show up.  I have not attempted to contact her since.   The question is whether I should.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version