General Etiquette > general

The mystery of the disappearing babysitter

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Klein Bottle:
I would contact her one more time via text, saying something along the lines of, "Hey Sitter...just wanted to say hello and make sure everything's OK.  We missed seeing you the other day!"   This lets her know there are no hard feelings, (which I presume there are not since you are making this inquiry), and that you are open to further communication.  My guess is that something unexpectedly arose and she was so embarrassed about flaking that she decided not to contact you at all, rather than try to explain.  Not the way I'd have handled it,and certainly not the best or even a proper way, but that might have been her thinking in the moment. If there is no response, I'd let it be. 

I wouldn't try any contact.

If this was a good friend or family member and it was totally out of character for them to do this, then yes, I would try and contacting them.

But this situation? No. 

On the very, very, rare occasions I've had a similar thing happen, it hasn't been because the person had an emergency or brain fart, it was because they were just being a selfish and self centred person too wrapped up in themselves to give a stuff about the people around them that they were inconveniencing.

I'd give it one try.  "Hi, Sitter, it's C.  I was surprised (but not mad!) that you missed our appointment, and I've been worried about you since--it's not like you to not call when you miss a day.  I know you're busy and probably don't have time to sit anymore, but please let me know you're well.  Take care!"

I probably would try it once. I assume you aren't going to hire her again. I vote for including an "out" so she doesn't feel like she has to make an excuse (or ignore you out of embarrassment).

"Hey, Sitter!

I just wanted to write and check in on you because I thought you were coming on [date], but it looks like there was come confusion. I assume that you've just been busy with midterms, but I wanted to make sure that everything was okay on your end. Good luck with the end of the semester!


I would guess that she just doesn't want to baby-sit anymore and can't find a way to tell you .

If you do contact her again , let her off the hook -

Hi babysitter , I hope you're doing well - I was concerned about you after our last meeting fell through . Since it seems like you are no longer available , I wanted to thank you for the great job you did while you were watching Caleb . You are always welcome to give us a call once in a while if you're not too busy. We'll both miss you and we wish you the best .


If you get no reply , write her off - she doesn't consider you someone that she wishes to remain in contact with .  There may not be any reason other than she has a lot on plate right now .


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