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Serenity Just Isn't Possible (story 3 of 5 from old board)

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mrsbrandt:
So Thanksgiving was definitely interesting. Christy brought her fiance Andrew over to my husband's aunt's house. Christy sat outside in another cottage on the family compound with her dad and Andrew for the pre-dinner portion of the event, smoking and generally being anti-social. In a gesture of good faith, I went over and attempted to start several conversations. Andrew must be really shy, because he hardly said two words until we started talking about technology.

Neither showed any excitement for either the baby on the way or the wedding. And not once during the night did either mention the word love (or friendship or anything good existing between the two of them). In conversation with DH's aunt, I've found out that apparently Christy has never said she loves Andrew, but they are getting married next weekend because she's pregnant. Christy's dad was trying to get a headcount together for the reception, and was having a difficult time, because they don't remember who've they've invited. They called to invite people (and actually left my MIL a voicemail about it and then never followed up. The voicemail did not include the time or place that the reception would be held, it was very odd.).

Christy was polite enough, except she totally doesn't understand the concept of parenting. She told my 2 year old DD that I was being mean, because I wouldn't let her throw a temper tantrum. And then Christy asked why I had to yell at DD and put her in time out downstairs. I felt kind of bad, when she critiqued my parenting in front of my 2 year old, I told Christy to shut up. It certainly wasn't my kindest moment, but she was seriously giving my kid ammunition to argue with me. After that, I felt like just beating my head against the wall. DD doesn't throw tantrums often, but that is because I never let her get away with them. DD has learned that mommy is a lot more patient and mean than she could ever be. Somehow, I get the feeling that Christy's kid is going to lack a bit of discipline.

During dinner, we started discussing baby names. DH and I have decided on a name for a boy, we really love John Anthony. Anthony in remembrance of DH's uncle who died in September. I told Christy that this was our boy name, but we haven't picked out a girl name yet. We find out if it's a boy or a girl next Friday (I can't wait). She's picked out her girl name (something that I'm not particularly fond of, but I shut my mouth, it's not my kid) and I told her not to worry we're going the more traditional naming route for our names. I grew up with a non-traditional/American name and couldn't do that to my kid, although it is becoming more popular nowadays. Christy then told me that she'd never forgive me if I stole her name choice and when we come up with a list of girl names, we shouldn't have any that have already been on her list. (Can we say a little psycho?)

So dinner progresses further and Andrew and DH start talking technology/electronics stuff. Apparently Andrew is selling his 2 month old HDTV on eBay, and buying a new one for $1500 this morning. He drives a brand new Audi. But instead of working on them getting an apartment (since they’re getting married next weekend and having a baby in May) they're going to blow money on electronics and new cars and plastic surgery, while living in his parent's house. I honestly don't know how he affords all of this stuff; I know it's none of my business though. FWIW he makes his living as an apprentice plumber and he's in a union. I just don't get why they aren't saving for the important things, like the cost of having a kid or being independent, or even counseling.

And of course Christy and Andrew were the first to leave, right after dinner (they live 15 minutes from DH's aunt's house) and there were no offers to help clean up or anything. And they didn't bother to actually say goodbye to anyone. They got up from the table and just left. We all thought they were going outside to smoke, but realized they had left when his car wasn't there anymore. It was a really interesting Thanksgiving. I feel bad for telling Christy to shut up, but otherwise I really tried to keep my mouth shut for the rest of the night.

ETA: And Christy got mad at me because I'm not bringing DD (who is 2) to the reception. Firstly, it's being held at a DIVE BAR. Secondly, going to a reception with a toddler is not my idea of a good time. I love DD dearly, but I don't want to have to entertain her at the reception, or be on mommy duty. Sometimes I do just want to have fun.

Children are normally okay in most situations, but to me a reception is just an adult situation. I want to not constantly have to be on top of things, I'm leaving DD with MIL and if Christy is POed then so be it.

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