General Etiquette > Life...in general

"But he's not dead yet!"

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kareng57:

--- Quote from: yokozbornak on November 15, 2013, 11:49:06 PM ---
--- Quote from: kareng57 on November 15, 2013, 11:13:05 PM ---
--- Quote from: yokozbornak on November 15, 2013, 08:51:35 PM ---
--- Quote from: girlmusic on November 15, 2013, 08:04:15 PM ---Anyone else thinking of Monty Python right now?? "I'm not dead!"

--- End quote ---

I was totally going for that! 

I am not sure what role this lady plays in the organization so I may find out before sending anything.  It was truly a kind and thoughtful gesture which is why I am reluctant to say anything, but at the same time, it feels wrong to not acknowledge that she reached out to me and I can't do that without correcting her.

--- End quote ---


I think a note such as sweetonsno suggested would be perfect.  It was a thoughtful gesture and therefore deserves some acknowledgement, but you still want to set the record straight.

I think it was an honest miscommunication - IMO there's little to be gained by going to Corporate to track down how this happened.

--- End quote ---

I never suggested that I was going to corporate to complain or say anything so I am not sure where that idea came from.  I also mentioned that I thought it was a kind gesture. I am trying to figure out how to handle it to ensure the least amount of awkwardness now and in the future since there is a possibility I will run into this person in the future.  I only suggested that I might try to find out her position in the company to figure out the likelihood of running into her if I am at the corporate office at some point (i.e. if she is a weekend employee, the likelihood of me running into her is very slim).

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English1:
I think you have to send her a message, otherwise she'll continue to think that he has passed away and when the truth eventually comes out, she'll feel very embarrassed. It was a well-meant gesture. Someone had their wires crossed.

You've had a good suggestion already.

I would put something like

Dear X

I was very touched that you were thinking of me at a difficult time and that you took the time to contact me and send the book.

However, although FIL was very ill in the ICU, he is making a recovery, and is not now expected to pass away. I was was sure you would want to share in our good news,

thank you again for the kind thoughts,

X

BeagleMommy:

--- Quote from: English1 on November 27, 2013, 07:42:04 AM ---I think you have to send her a message, otherwise she'll continue to think that he has passed away and when the truth eventually comes out, she'll feel very embarrassed. It was a well-meant gesture. Someone had their wires crossed.

You've had a good suggestion already.

I would put something like

Dear X

I was very touched that you were thinking of me at a difficult time and that you took the time to contact me and send the book.

However, although FIL was very ill in the ICU, he is making a recovery, and is not now expected to pass away. I was was sure you would want to share in our good news,

thank you again for the kind thoughts,

X

--- End quote ---

I like this.  It appreciates the thought and gift while telling the giver that FIL is on the mend without making it seem like she goofed.

PastryGoddess:

--- Quote from: girlmusic on November 15, 2013, 08:04:15 PM ---Anyone else thinking of Monty Python right now?? "I'm not dead!"

--- End quote ---

I'm happpyyyy!  I'm happppyyyy! *conk*

Softly Spoken:

--- Quote from: PastryGoddess on November 27, 2013, 04:11:01 PM ---
--- Quote from: girlmusic on November 15, 2013, 08:04:15 PM ---Anyone else thinking of Monty Python right now?? "I'm not dead!"

--- End quote ---

I'm happpyyyy!  I'm happppyyyy! *conk*

--- End quote ---
I have to admit that I 1) thought of this as well and 2) was afraid that the situation the thread title described was actually much worse. I thought the opposite etiquette problem had occurred (reading ehell's work etiquette section, as well as sites like retailhellunderground and customerssuck has made me paranoid) . You see, I thought the title was an actual quote from a supervisor/boss/manager! :P  Before reading this thread I envisioned the poor OP had asked for time off to spend with her sick and dying FIL only to be told something along the lines of not getting time unless it was to go to his funeral! :-\ Yes, I have become horribly jaded and cynical.

Instead, the OP received a touching gesture of sympathy and support...that made an unfortunate assumption and/or reflected a miscommunication somewhere regarding her FILs condition.

I think any response to her employer's good intentions should definitely start with gratitude and appreciation. They can focus on how the good of the company's gesture can be answered by the equally good news that their sympathy was premature and her FIL will get better.

OP you basically get to find a very classy way to convey "Thanks anyway!" Your employer's intentions were good and you get to give them an 'A'  for effort. Your gratitude will help smooth away their potential embarrassment at rushing to counsel your grief when you are fortunate enough to have no death to grieve over. Better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Do not be afraid to correct them, it was one of the few 'positive' mistakes I have seen an employer make. :)

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