General Etiquette > Life...in general

train ride, was I rude?

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songbird:
Long Island Railroad train last weekend. 


The railroad car  is set up similar to an airplane, with bench seats on either side of a narrow aisle.  The doors are at either end of the car.


Fairly crowded train, and most of the passengers were leaving the train at the last stop.  Everyone stood up shortly after the train left the second to last station, and made their way down the aisle to the vestibules by the doors.  One young man, who was standing with his friends near the door, realized he left his ski hat on the seat in the center of the car.  Everyone moved out of his way so that he could go back to his seat and get his hat.

So far so good. 

The young man picked up his hat and wanted to come back down the aisle to rejoin his friends by the door.  However, by now the train had arrived in the station, the engineer was using the brake to stop the train, and the doors would open as soon as the train came to a complete stop. 

I'm a bit unsteady on my feet, and I was holding on to the back of a seat  to keep my balance as the train came to a stop.    I really prefer not to move when the train is braking. 

My boyfriend insists I should have moved out of the way of the young man and allowed him to pass me and walk to the door.  I felt it was not necessary to move, that the young man could meet the rest of his party on the platform in just a few minutes.   

Of course, when my boyfriend said something to me, I got snippy, and said something along the lines of not wanting to fall flat on my face just to let someone else walk past me.

Your thoughts?

Surianne:
Did you have a seat to begin with or were you standing in the aisle the entire ride?  If you had a seat and knew you were unsteady on your feet, I think you should have stayed sitting and let the folks who could move through the aisle quickly go first. 

I find it pretty frustrating when I'd like to get out quickly and someone with very complicated bags or young children or whatever is blocking the aisle.  Similarly if I know I'm unsteady on my feet (last year when I'd injured my leg, for example) I stay sitting so I don't get in the way of other passengers.  It's more efficient that way.

sammycat:
I think you were fine to stay where you were and not move out of his way. He was the one with the 'emergency', so to speak, so it's not up to everyone else to scramble to accommodate him.  Was he actually showing any signs of wanting to push forward?

MOM21SON:
I find it very irritating when people rush to the door to be first off.  IMO it is rude, and reeks of entitlement.

I would not have moved either.

TootsNYC:
Well, snippy's not good; was your boyfriend unnecessarily chiding, is that what prompted your snip?

Like you, I do not like to be untethered during "the lurch," as I call the braking on the subway. I won't stand up from a seat until the car has completely stopped.

The young man could certainly figure it out, and he certainly wasn't all that greatly inconvenienced--it was what, 90 seconds, max?

But remember that *you* could easily give him a clue.

I do think that when you are in that situation, you should give some indication--smile and say, "Just a moment, I'm hanging on."

That's all.

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