General Etiquette > Life...in general

train ride, was I rude?

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m2kbug:
Snapping at the boyfriend wasn't good, but I don't think you were rude for not moving out of the way.  It's not like he couldn't meet up with his friends on the platform. 

Is there a reason you don't just stay seated (assuming you had a seat)?

Iris:
I don't think you did anything wrong. The scenario I have pictured in my mind is that the aisle was full, with a 'queue' of people waiting to get off. Hence in the normal scheme of things it would not be an expectation that someone would want to get past, because that would be cutting in line. Imo it's fine in that situation to be unsteady on your feet, fuss with bags, juggle packages or whatever because you are simply marking your place in the queue. Presumably you were completely balanced and ready to move at exactly the time that it would be expected i.e. when the train was stopped and everyone was disembarking. This guy had his own situation to deal with but that is not YOUR emergency.

As to snipping at your bf; I wouldn't snip. I would however icily inform him that he is not my father, it is not his place to correct me, and I find it troubling that the convenience of a stranger seems to trump my comfort and safety in his eyes. I would then never ever mention it again.

TootsNYC:

--- Quote from: Iris on November 15, 2013, 08:44:22 PM ---
As to snipping at your bf; I wouldn't snip. I would however icily inform him that he is not my father, it is not his place to correct me, and I find it troubling that the convenience of a stranger seems to trump my comfort and safety in his eyes. I would then never ever mention it again.

--- End quote ---

Isn't that snipping? I'd think it was.


Songbird, I do think that the you should have indicated something to the young man, that's required, I think. That's all, though.

And m2Kbug has a point--if you find you're unsteady enough that you want to hold old during the braking, you might consider just sitting until the train is mostly empty, and then getting up to walk off.

You probably don't save that much time by standing, and you could keep reading, or whatever, while you waited through that whole time period. That's what I do on the airplane (but of course, I have the person on the other side of me who wants out to get their luggage).

esposita:

--- Quote from: TootsNYC on November 15, 2013, 08:56:24 PM ---
--- Quote from: Iris on November 15, 2013, 08:44:22 PM ---
Songbird, I do think that the you should have indicated something to the young man, that's required, I think. That's all, though.

And m2Kbug has a point--if you find you're unsteady enough that you want to hold old during the braking, you might consider just sitting until the train is mostly empty, and then getting up to walk off.

You probably don't save that much time by standing, and you could keep reading, or whatever, while you waited through that whole time period. That's what I do on the airplane (but of course, I have the person on the other side of me who wants out to get their luggage).

--- End quote ---

Yes, I would have been very confused if you were fine to stand up to wait with everyone but not to let me pass you a second time. A quick "Sorry, I need to be still while the train is braking." with a kind smile and I'd be completely understanding. Otherwise I might think you were like, trying to trap me to teach me a lesson or something.
--- End quote ---

TootsNYC:
You can also shift aside a bit to make a bit more room even as you hold on.

I do think it's rude for people to *ask* you to let go of your support when the train is braking or about to brake..

I run into this on the subway; I'll be standing, holding on to a pole or an overhead support. And as the train is entering the station, people will want to get out of their seat to rush to the door, or walk closer to the door.  And they want me to let go. I won't. Because the train may start braking sooner than either of us expects, and I'm not going to fall down because I wasn't holding on!

I shift out of their way as much as I can (I'll even *shift* my grip if I can); I give them a vague smile; and if they ask me to move more than that, I say, "Sorry, I'm holding on."

There's plenty of time to get off the subway train if you start as soon as the lurch is over. The doors never open immediately; there's always three or four seconds.

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