Author Topic: Borrow dishes from guests? Update reply 29  (Read 4725 times)

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Arila

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Borrow dishes from guests? Update reply 29
« on: November 16, 2013, 11:15:28 AM »
Hi all,
I am very excited about hosting Thanksgiving this year!  We are inviting all my family,  plus some friends who don't have family close by.  We have done up paper invitations, but invited more people than we have plates for.  Now, I had planned on using this as an excuse to buy more, but then I realized one couple on our list has the exact same plates!

Is it rude to even ask if we can borrow them?  Do I have to wait for them to rsvp  affirmative? What if they aren't coming?
« Last Edit: December 01, 2013, 11:38:33 PM by arila »

NyaChan

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #1 on: November 16, 2013, 11:23:20 AM »
Well if they are close enough friends to invite over for Thanksgiving, they might be close enough to ask to borrow plates However, I'd be a bit careful about borrowing plates from the people who have your same pattern - how will you tell whose plates are whose at the end of the night?  I know it sounds silly, but I would want at least slightly different ones if only to prevent that day after "Hmm was this chip always there…or did mine get switched?" wondering. 

TootsNYC

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #2 on: November 16, 2013, 11:35:59 AM »
You don't borrow plates from your guests, of course not.

You borrow plates from your good friend.
And then you serve food to your guest on those plates.

It just *happens* to be that this is the same person.
But she has multiple roles in your life.

Of course, it would be hurtful to ask a good friend if you could borrow something for a dinner party that she's being excluded from if she would have a reason to think she -should- be there (OK to borrow for a family dinner, or for dinner for the boss; not OK to ask if you're having a bunch of friend--but not her?--over). But in your case, she isn't being excluded, so you don't have to worry about hurting her feelings.

Yes, ask her--pick them up ahead of time, and put a stick on the underside, or use a china marker (hey, it's a CHINA marker!!!) to mark them on the underside.
   A china marker will stay put even through the dishwasher, mostly. And it will rub off.

(for those who might not recognize the term, a china marker is a wax pencil, the kind w/ the peel-off paper coating.)

Luci

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #3 on: November 16, 2013, 11:58:17 AM »
I wouldn't, and I won't loan mine out. I am very particular about how mine are treated, particularly washing. (Even Corelle gets old looking if granular dishwashing detergent is used in the dishwasher. There was a vast difference between the Correlle I gave my daughter when we closed out the summer place and her dishes.)  Also, I would worry endlessly about my ruining someone else's dishes. If you do it, however, I love the marking ideas given above!

When we host 35 people, I only make sure that each table has matching dishware, flatware, and water glasses. Guests choose their seats, take that plate, go through the buffet, and return to that seat. Rolls, butter, salt, pepper and cranberry sauce are already on each table. If all are sitting at the same table, you might as well go ahead and expand your own set if it isn't a burden right now. As excited as you sound, you'll probably need them many times in the future.

Enjoy, whatever you do.


jmarvellous

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #4 on: November 16, 2013, 12:03:37 PM »
My mom and her friends each bought a set of 10 or 20 (cheap but decent looking) plates, salad plates and bowls for just this reason. Everyone had their own dishes for smaller gatherings, and could borrow the others' as long as everyone went home with the same number at the end of the day.

I say go for it, and do consider marking them if either of you is worried about getting your own plates back in the end (or just don't worry if she's not bothered).


Slightly O/T: One member of the original group has taken to collecting single place settings of cute/elegant/unusual Christmas dishes that she uses for an annual party -- getting around the idea of having to have a full matching set by having dinnerware so interesting people make a point look for their favorites each year. It's taken her years, but she has something like 35 unique sets now! (Just an idea for a long-range plan.)

sparksals

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #5 on: November 16, 2013, 01:07:58 PM »
I wouldn't loan out my good dishes, even to a good friend. Just too much room for an accident and harmed relations.


You can rent dishes very inexpensively. 

cicero

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #6 on: November 16, 2013, 01:34:57 PM »
I wouldn't loan out my good dishes, even to a good friend. Just too much room for an accident and harmed relations.

I wouldn't either. I wouldn't borrow dishes either. Either buy new plates or use nice disposables.

ETA : I don't think it's rude to ask if you can borrow the dishes, as long as *you* are the ones doing any of the shlepping/washing etc (IOW - don't make your guests have any additional work). But personally i wouldn't do it.
« Last Edit: November 16, 2013, 01:36:30 PM by cicero »

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sparksals

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #7 on: November 16, 2013, 02:04:41 PM »
I think it is a bit rude to ask.  I know many think asking isn't rude, but I am in the camp that it puts the askee into a very awkward position and feeling uncomfortable if she has to say no. 

gramma dishes

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2013, 02:30:05 PM »
I don't think asking to borrow dishes is a bad thing.  I'd personally happily loan you some of mine. 

But I do think it's probably unwise to borrow someone else's "best" dishes -- especially if they exactly match yours.  Too much opportunity for mishap or mixup!

How about matching dishes for each individual table?

TootsNYC

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2013, 02:33:43 PM »
I'd loan them!

Especially if there's still a possibility of being able to replace a plate if it's chipped or ruined.

But I'll also say, I have two separate sets, and I use them on different tables.

If you think you might seriously have these many people, and had thought of buying, then maybe go look for a set that will *coordinate* nicely with the set you have, and then you can mix and match!

Arila

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #10 on: November 16, 2013, 06:17:54 PM »
ETA : I don't think it's rude to ask if you can borrow the dishes, as long as *you* are the ones doing any of the shlepping/washing etc (IOW - don't make your guests have any additional work). But personally i wouldn't do it.

Oh, of course we would do the schlepping and washing.  I guess I'm not so worried about breakage,  the exact type is still available new. Both of us use them as every-day dishes (they are sort of like dressy jeans... could be casual or nice), I'm not talking about grandma's antiques.

So,  feel like there are more people who think it's okay to ask at least, I guess I will ask with a "totally understand if you don't feel comfortable" caveat. She has a strong personality, I know she won't do something she doesn't want to.

The ideas about different sets for different tables is nice,  but I only have one set of dishes, so...

Deetee

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2013, 02:34:32 PM »
Judging by the responses above, this seems to vary widely. I would cheerfully loan you my dishes without a second thought. It would give me a warm fuzzy feeling to help you out.

I think the best thing is to ask in such a fashion that you make it very, very easy for them to say no if they are uncomfortable.

DavidH

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2013, 05:08:52 PM »
I can think of reasons why someone wouldn't agree, but if you ask with an out and don't press the point, I don't see the harm in it.  It would be a good idea to ask if she only hand washes them or anything like that before hand.

As an aside, many large stores dealing with say sleep, bathing, and more, sell inexpensive sets of dishes this time of year.  My parents found that they could get nice if not over the top dishes for large parties for not much more than the cost of one rental. 

VorFemme

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2013, 08:03:43 PM »
I bought extra plates at a "garage sale" that match mine (stoneware - no metal trim) - not a complete set of all the pieces, but lots of spares to keep a complete set for the ten places I have at two tables.

I also have 24 clear glass luncheon plates (dishwasher & microwave safe) that I can use for some gatherings.

All will go in the dishwasher.  If I need more place settings than 24 - it's time for good paper plates!
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English1

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Re: Borrow dishes from guests?
« Reply #14 on: November 20, 2013, 04:34:14 AM »
I don't see why not. We are a big family and if we all get together I usually chuck some of my big serving platters in the car just in case, and I wouldn't mind if someone rang me and asked me to bring a few plates as well. Sometimes we get asked to bring folding chairs as well. People understand. These are not strangers - they are your friends and family. I'm sure they are looking forward to the day and will be happy to help out in such a small way.