Poll

Was curious enough to do a poll - which of the following traits irritates you the most, despite being perfectly polite and reasonable?

"Sorry my house is a mess" (when their house is cleaner than yours has ever been)
71 (47%)
Thinking one degree above freezing is "refreshingly brisk" weather
11 (7.3%)
Getting up at dawn every day to be "refreshed and ready to go" all morning
29 (19.2%)
Always being at least ten minutes early to absolutely everything
12 (7.9%)
Always has the time/energy to go for a jog or go to the gym, no excuses, without fail
28 (18.5%)

Total Members Voted: 151

Author Topic: Perfectly polite (but inexplicably annoying) personality traits  (Read 3964 times)

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cwm

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Re: Perfectly polite (but inexplicably annoying) personality traits
« Reply #45 on: November 25, 2013, 03:11:55 PM »
I AM the person who rhapsodizes about the cold weather. I love it. It's more a running joke with everyone I know than anything else.

Also, I'm the "up and ready to go" in the morning. I'm no bright chipper morning bird, but I can set my alarm for 7:00 and be out the door within 7-9 minutes. It's all to do with planning and routine. I set everything out the night before, and I don't do hair and makeup unless it's a fancy date night. I wake up, get dressed, and I'm out the door.

I cannot stand people who always have time for exercise. Then again, with the rare exception of this forum, most of them are actually holding it above other people and no longer polite about it. I can't tell you how many times I've had people tell me that if I did XYZ every day, everything would be so much better for me, I'd look better, I'd feel better, and it would magically cure all of my health problems. The one time I did start an exercise routine, I took a day off of the treadmill because my knee was about to give out on me after driving home, and I was told that I shouldn't give up so easily, that if I push through the pain it will be so much better. Cue much eyeroll from me, because the last time I pushed through the pain, I ended up with a knee that ballooned to twice its size overnight and ruined my weekend plans.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Perfectly polite (but inexplicably annoying) personality traits
« Reply #46 on: November 25, 2013, 03:15:04 PM »
Quote
I believe what's annoying folks the most is when someone apologizes for a non-existant mess.  As in the home is pristine and the host themselves looks refreshed and relaxed, NOT like she just got finished vacuuming and shoving things in closet doors right before you walked in.
Maybe the people do think it is a mess though and they are uncomfortable with people in their home in that condition.  I could see with some people it could be bragging but for me it would be real and I would really stressed that someone saw my home with toys on the floor/table, dishes in the sink, etc.  That is why I can never do the drop in, at least if someone calls 15-20 minutes ahead of time I can get everything back in its place, sweep/vacuum as needed but if you drop in I will be really stressed and not able to focus on conversation at all.  I know when my home is untidy it is cleaner than lots of people's clean but I expect homes should look like magazines and I clean to that standard.

I started thinking more about this.

The public areas of our home is seldom messy. Even when we had little kids, things were put away or they were in the kid's rooms.  You won't see a stack of mail anywhere or magazines lying around or yesterday's craft activity on the breakfast table. And there will never be laundry in the family room. It might go from dryer to laundry basket to bedroom and stay there for a week, but it doesn't hang out in the family room. People often remark about how clean our home is. But all I'm seeing is the cobweb on the breakfast room light, the fingerprints on the windows, the rug that hasn't been vacuumed in over a week, the ceiling fans that haven't been touched in 4 months, and the refigerator that needs to be emptied and completely sanitized. So yes the house might be "tidy" but it's not clean. But I will never say "sorry about the mess" because I'm hoping you forgot your glasses and won't notice the cobwebs.

Yet, I have friends who's homes are very clean and you'd never find a cobweb anywhere and a spec of dust to be seen let alone a dirty fridge shelf. But they don't mind clutter. Like a friend who was into scrapbooking always had a dining table full of stuff and she'd have baskets of nicely folded laundry for each of her kids in the family room. Mail was stacked on her entry hall table and there was always a large collection of magazines and kid's books on the coffee table and a pretty good collection of toys laying around. But she was serious when she said every toilet and bathroom sink was cleaned daily.

So maybe it is that people who are making this remark really do feel their house is messy but it's not the type of mess you identify with.

Betelnut

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Re: Perfectly polite (but inexplicably annoying) personality traits
« Reply #47 on: November 25, 2013, 07:11:06 PM »
"My house is a mess" since that comment would be actually directed at someone.  The other things are really behavior that exists independently of other people (being early, a morning person, etc.).
Native Texan, Marylander currently

gen xer

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Re: Perfectly polite (but inexplicably annoying) personality traits
« Reply #48 on: November 25, 2013, 09:25:35 PM »
Easily the early people.....I get all scattered when someone shows up early.  Even if I'm ready. 

We always hear about the people who underestimate how long it will take to get somewhere and who are late as a result.....but then there are the ones who want to leave sooooo early because they are petrified of being late that you end up with a tonne of time to kill on your hands.

As a kid there was nothing worse than spending an extra 25 minutes in church because my parents wanted to make sure we were on time.  25 minutes!!!  Extra!!!!  In church!!!!

Psychopoesie

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Re: Perfectly polite (but inexplicably annoying) personality traits
« Reply #49 on: November 25, 2013, 09:52:11 PM »
I voted for people who keep saying their house is a mess when it looks like the vogue living photoshoot just wrapped up.

It makes me feel really uncomfortable because I know that, in comparison, my house is more like the before shots for hoarders. I do make an effort to clean/tidy before I have guests but would hesitate to invite someone over who is dissatisfied when their own house attains a state of such gleaming perfection.

The other stuff in the poll is just individual differences.

As a night owl, I'd only be annoyed if the early bird chattered away at me in the morning or worse, went off in a political rant over breakfast (hello, mum!).

I tend to be punctual myself - occasionally end up arriving early. Not a drama if you're meeting up at a restaurant. Don't like to surprise a host in their own home though so I'd wait (and arrive a bit after the hour). Irritates me when early arrivals treat on time as late.

My mum is an anxious person - if I give her a lift to a medical appointment we have to leave so early and spend a heap more time in the waiting room. Seems inefficient to me but helps her deal better with the stress.





Piratelvr1121

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Re: Perfectly polite (but inexplicably annoying) personality traits
« Reply #50 on: November 25, 2013, 09:58:06 PM »
Easily the early people.....I get all scattered when someone shows up early.  Even if I'm ready. 

We always hear about the people who underestimate how long it will take to get somewhere and who are late as a result.....but then there are the ones who want to leave sooooo early because they are petrified of being late that you end up with a tonne of time to kill on your hands.

As a kid there was nothing worse than spending an extra 25 minutes in church because my parents wanted to make sure we were on time.  25 minutes!!!  Extra!!!!  In church!!!!

My DH is like that, he'll say "I want to leave at this time" which puts us almost at our location 10 minutes early which means having to find a way to kill time until it's polite to show up.

On the other hand, I am an early bird.  I cannot sleep much past 8 even when I try.  I typically wake up around 7:30 without an alarm and just enjoy being up in the mornings. I don't even do all that much when I first wake up, I just like to have the time to relax and wake up with coffee so that by the time everyone else is up, I'm already more mentally alert.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Vall

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Re: Perfectly polite (but inexplicably annoying) personality traits
« Reply #51 on: November 25, 2013, 10:03:07 PM »
People who say their house is a mess annoy me but none of the other options bother me at all.  False modesty and fishing for compliments bug me.  If they really are bothered by the state their home is in, there's still no reason to tell me.  I don't go to visit people to inspect their homes---I go to see them.  If they didn't point it out, I'd be unlikely to ever notice their housekeeping, unless of course they truly lived in a dirty, smelly, hoard.

I am a heavily-insulated person so cold weather usually feels good to me.  But it doesn't bother me when other people enjoy the heat.

Morning people don't bother me either as long as they aren't obviously judging me for not keeping the same hours as them (I'm 3rd shift so that would be impossible anyway).

Early arrivals don't bother me much either.  If someone is going to err one way or the other, I'd much prefer that they're early.  I hate waiting for someone who is always late.

MerryCat

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Re: Perfectly polite (but inexplicably annoying) personality traits
« Reply #52 on: November 26, 2013, 10:34:51 AM »
I wish that there was an option for "other". The thing I find most annoying is.... uhm... people who.... uh.... what was I saying? ... Oh yeah, Jeanine's cat had kittens... But anyway.. it really annoys me when people talk.... um.... like... uhm... yeah, when they talk like that... um.

I have a dear friend who does this from time to time. It can take her literally several minutes to finish a single sentence, and she gets very upset if you ask her to spit it out or do anything but wait patiently for her to finish her thought.

I'm not sure that it's actually rude or impolite, but it's darn irritating when we're hanging out and I can tell she's not really focused on the conversation. Luckily, it doesn't happen that often, and she has a lot of other really good traits that make up for it.