Author Topic: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line- Update #109  (Read 15061 times)

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nuit93

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #75 on: November 27, 2013, 01:35:54 AM »
As someone who's traveled over the border via the Peace Arch crossing (used to do it with my family every holiday when Iwas a kid)...it's not pretty unless you're traveling at really out-there hours (between about 11pm and 5am).  Even then it's not a guarantee of a quick trip.

Another Sarah

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #76 on: November 27, 2013, 05:18:07 AM »
I'm from the UK and have never been to Canada or the US in my life - I don't think it's unreasonable to not want to sit around waiting for hours, I'd liken it to some European borders I've been to.

What I don't understand is that most people seem to be advocating not going to the US at all with her friend. I don't see any rudeness in asking friend to get the bus and meet her over the border so they can shop together.

marcel

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #77 on: November 27, 2013, 07:02:10 AM »
Near as I can figure out, opinions are divided along geographical lines.  Those who believe that wanting only Nexus card holders in the car is unreasonable or impolite or unkind seem to be the ones who don't drive over the border.

Or maybe I'm misreading.  Are there any Canadians living near the US border who think it's unreasonable for the OP to require a Nexus pass under the circumstances given?  Those familiar with the Peace Arch crossing in particular.
Being from Europe, I haven't seen long lines at a border since the early '90s eastern Europe, I do however think it is completely reasonable to only want Nexus card holders in the car though.

This probably has more to do with my dislike for standing in traffic though :)
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iridaceae

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #78 on: November 27, 2013, 07:10:43 AM »
I'm down here in Arizona and I have to say I don't think only wanting Nexus holders is unreasonable.  Everyone else that would be going has it. She's been urged before to get one- she has to know she's holding everyone back. I could see if the Nexus card cost thousands but it doesn't.

MariaE

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #79 on: November 27, 2013, 07:53:07 AM »
Near as I can figure out, opinions are divided along geographical lines.  Those who believe that wanting only Nexus card holders in the car is unreasonable or impolite or unkind seem to be the ones who don't drive over the border.

Or maybe I'm misreading.  Are there any Canadians living near the US border who think it's unreasonable for the OP to require a Nexus pass under the circumstances given?  Those familiar with the Peace Arch crossing in particular.
Being from Europe, I haven't seen long lines at a border since the early '90s eastern Europe, I do however think it is completely reasonable to only want Nexus card holders in the car though.

This probably has more to do with my dislike for standing in traffic though :)

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mlogica

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #80 on: November 27, 2013, 09:42:54 AM »
What I don't understand is that most people seem to be advocating not going to the US at all with her friend. I don't see any rudeness in asking friend to get the bus and meet her over the border so they can shop together.

Well, there might not be a bus, and even if there is, catching it might be very inconvenient.  Back when I lived in the area, I don't recall anyone talking about bus trips down to Bellingham, but of course things may have changed.  Also, the OP's friend taking the bus wouldn't necessarily improve the timing, because I don't know if the bus crosses the border on a schedule or has to wait in line with all the other traffic.  If the OP is waiting in line with her friend, or waiting for her friend on the other side of the border, she's still waiting.


Another Sarah

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #81 on: November 27, 2013, 09:58:47 AM »
What I don't understand is that most people seem to be advocating not going to the US at all with her friend. I don't see any rudeness in asking friend to get the bus and meet her over the border so they can shop together.

Well, there might not be a bus, and even if there is, catching it might be very inconvenient.  Back when I lived in the area, I don't recall anyone talking about bus trips down to Bellingham, but of course things may have changed.  Also, the OP's friend taking the bus wouldn't necessarily improve the timing, because I don't know if the bus crosses the border on a schedule or has to wait in line with all the other traffic.  If the OP is waiting in line with her friend, or waiting for her friend on the other side of the border, she's still waiting.

I was responding to the below post from OP which indicates there is an alternative, but she'd be uncomfortable telling her friend she'd meet her on the other side as well as most PPs just saying to exclude friend from the trip

Yeah, not so easy to meet her on the other side as it's all highway-oriented and the only means of public transport from here would be a bus. And then we are into a new level of feeling rude and mean with, "I'm driving, but I'll stick you on a Greyhound."

Whether going on the trip is worth getting the bus is for OP's friend to decide, if OP suggests it she doesn't have to say yes, in the same way OP is not obligated to give her a lift.

And OP doesn't have to wait for friend to go shopping - for example if OP goes over at ten say she could do a bit and then meet friend at twelve.

I just don't track the logic that says if friend wants to go shopping, she has to be in the car with OP to do it.

mich3554

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #82 on: November 27, 2013, 10:19:08 AM »
What I don't understand is that most people seem to be advocating not going to the US at all with her friend. I don't see any rudeness in asking friend to get the bus and meet her over the border so they can shop together.

Well, there might not be a bus, and even if there is, catching it might be very inconvenient.  Back when I lived in the area, I don't recall anyone talking about bus trips down to Bellingham, but of course things may have changed.  Also, the OP's friend taking the bus wouldn't necessarily improve the timing, because I don't know if the bus crosses the border on a schedule or has to wait in line with all the other traffic.  If the OP is waiting in line with her friend, or waiting for her friend on the other side of the border, she's still waiting.

If they are going to the outlet malls in Marysville, there are buses that run down there regularly.  TBH, I don't remember paying attention to the buses at the border, but see lines of them parked in the back of the outlets with Canadian plates on them.

There is also a train that runs from Vancouver to Bellingham, she could pick that up and meet her friends at the station.  However, a train ticket might cost as much as a Nexus card.
« Last Edit: November 27, 2013, 03:10:09 PM by mich3554 »

mlogica

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #83 on: November 27, 2013, 10:44:00 AM »
Okay, oops, I stand corrected.  It appears there are buses available.

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #84 on: November 27, 2013, 09:01:19 PM »
Once upon a time, I was the only non-driver I even knew.  Nowadays, I'm often the only driver.  I also have a long history of wrongly ignoring things, in the mistaken belief that they don't apply to me ...

... So.  My guess is, she may not know that you all have Nexus cards, and if she does, that it's purely because you all drive.  She may not be aware that having one non-Nexus person in the car changes the rules for everybody (I'm assuming nobody's made that point directly).  I say this because, once again, that's precisely the sort of detail that would zoom way over my own head if I were the one car-free person in the group ... and because she does sound like a very considerate friend otherwise.

If the subject comes up again, it might be good to make sure she knows about the lines, and the huge differences in wait times (which is another factor of which I might not be fully aware, unless I drove that route myself).

Your friend sounds like the sort of person who would appreciate a polite, respectful Word to the Wise.  She might have to miss this trip, or catch the bus, but she'd be in better shape to plan future trips with you ... or, if she wishes, to refrain from border-crossing jaunts and stick to more locally-based activities.

Surianne

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #85 on: November 27, 2013, 10:46:29 PM »
Once upon a time, I was the only non-driver I even knew.  Nowadays, I'm often the only driver.  I also have a long history of wrongly ignoring things, in the mistaken belief that they don't apply to me ...

... So.  My guess is, she may not know that you all have Nexus cards, and if she does, that it's purely because you all drive.  She may not be aware that having one non-Nexus person in the car changes the rules for everybody (I'm assuming nobody's made that point directly).  I say this because, once again, that's precisely the sort of detail that would zoom way over my own head if I were the one car-free person in the group ... and because she does sound like a very considerate friend otherwise.

If the subject comes up again, it might be good to make sure she knows about the lines, and the huge differences in wait times (which is another factor of which I might not be fully aware, unless I drove that route myself).

Your friend sounds like the sort of person who would appreciate a polite, respectful Word to the Wise.  She might have to miss this trip, or catch the bus, but she'd be in better shape to plan future trips with you ... or, if she wishes, to refrain from border-crossing jaunts and stick to more locally-based activities.

I agree.  It's an easy thing to not know about.  I'm Canadian, don't own a car, live near the border and go over a few times a year, and I don't know anyone who has a Nexus card except for people who travel regularly for business.  In my head it was expensive (to me $50 is expensive) and a time-consuming process to get one, so it was really for people who go over daily or weekly.  I don't know anyone who doesn't own a car and has a Nexus card. 

It's never been something on my radar and I wouldn't have any idea that asking the OP to include me meant it would require her to spend more time in line.  So that's why I think honesty makes sense, rather than being passive aggressive ("Oh, so you'll have your Nexus card by then?") or jumping to the conclusion that the friend is being selfish,

Twik

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #86 on: November 28, 2013, 12:42:43 PM »
She knows that they have Nexus cards, from the OP:

Quote
Lately she has been suggesting we go down to the U.S. together for a day trip. She knows a lot of us in our circle of friends, including me, have Nexus, but she doesn't. I don't know if it's funds, or what, preventing her from applying for a Nexus card. but she hasn't done anything about applying for one.
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gramma dishes

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #87 on: November 28, 2013, 01:08:54 PM »
Once upon a time, I was the only non-driver I even knew.  Nowadays, I'm often the only driver.  I also have a long history of wrongly ignoring things, in the mistaken belief that they don't apply to me ...

... So.  My guess is, she may not know that you all have Nexus cards, and if she does, that it's purely because you all drive.  She may not be aware that having one non-Nexus person in the car changes the rules for everybody (I'm assuming nobody's made that point directly).  I say this because, once again, that's precisely the sort of detail that would zoom way over my own head if I were the one car-free person in the group ... and because she does sound like a very considerate friend otherwise.

If the subject comes up again, it might be good to make sure she knows about the lines, and the huge differences in wait times (which is another factor of which I might not be fully aware, unless I drove that route myself).

Your friend sounds like the sort of person who would appreciate a polite, respectful Word to the Wise.  She might have to miss this trip, or catch the bus, but she'd be in better shape to plan future trips with you ... or, if she wishes, to refrain from border-crossing jaunts and stick to more locally-based activities.

I wondered about that too.  Unless she's had it explained to her that EVERY person in the car has to have the card, she may just be assuming (since she doesn't drive) that only the driver needs the card. 

Wordgeek

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #88 on: November 28, 2013, 02:05:14 PM »
^ That's my thought, too.

I was in a similar position when I first relocated back to Vancouver.  A friend had a Nexus card because he frequently went over the border with his family, but had no car himself.  I offered to take him with me on one of my own trips, thinking we could use his Nexus card and my car.  He explained the rules to me, how everyone in the car needed the pass. 

There are a variety of documents used to go over the border - passports, enhanced driver's licenses, and the Nexus.  They all have different rules and privileges.  No wonder if a person doesn't know the details of each document.

Miss Tickle

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Re: But if you come with me, I have to wait in the regular line
« Reply #89 on: November 28, 2013, 09:37:07 PM »
Why not just be honest with her and tell it it's too inconvenient to take her, and unless she gets a nexus card to stop bothering you about going to the states because she's not worth the wait in line. I'm sure she'll understand.