"No funeral for me, please" = big, fancy wake? Update p79

[Sophia]

My heart goes out to the whole family.  The worst thing is imagining the father shouting, "Party, no party, just don't break up the family over this." 

[Psychopoesie]

My heart goes out to the whole family.  The worst thing is imagining the father shouting, "Party, no party, just don't break up the family over this."

This.

[djinnidjream]

We had this issue a few years ago when my sister's FIL passed.  We all knew he didn't want a funeral- laid out in a casket etc.  There was a big division in their family because they held a wake- dinner, jazz, booze- just want Grandpa would have wanted.  Sister's SIL wanted to do a big funeral anyway but didn't get her way.  She's still not speaking to my sister, BIL,  or her own mother 5 years later.

[Sophia]

In a way, I see an analogy with weddings.  The wedding ceremony/Funeral is for the happy couple/dead person.  The wedding reception/wake is for the guests. 

So, I would totally back someone saying that they didn't want a funeral.  Particularly if it was a matter of religion.  But, I don't think the dead get any say on wake or not. 

[CakeEater]

In a way, I see an analogy with weddings.  The wedding ceremony/Funeral is for the happy couple/dead person.  The wedding reception/wake is for the guests. 

So, I would totally back someone saying that they didn't want a funeral.  Particularly if it was a matter of religion.  But, I don't think the dead get any say on wake or not.

I like your analogy.

[squeakers]

One of our friends passed away a few years ago.  Before that we (as a group around the campfire) had discussed what kind of funeral plans we wanted done.  She and I both were emphatic on no casket, no viewing, cremation and then our separate ideas on what to do with the cremains.

Her husband had a casket and viewing for her despite that talk.

At the wake that night the power went out 3 times due to lightning. 2 different transformers near the bar blew up. When he returned home an owl was sitting in one of their trees staring at him... it did not fly off while he was outside.

I told my husband that I would be even worse at making my wishes known.  I figure if someone has the need to see my body they should have visited with me before I died.

[ClaireC79]

I would encourage the widow and son to get involved and attend the wake. 

But, they should not feel pressured if they do not wish to paritcipate,

Surely encouraging them to attend is pressuring them

It was brought up, they said they wouldn't be part of it - any attempt to change their mind is pressuring IMHO