General Etiquette > Family and Children

Family Gatherings, Relatives at polar opposites - how to handle?

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hopeful4:
Update....
Thanksgiving was relatively peaceful!  Yeah!  Except for my college age neice dropping a few unneccessary F- Bombs (they are NEVER necessary) swearing was kept to a minimum and no polictical talk!  I just wish my sister and neices would realize that, when they use the F-bomb or the D@--, they make themselves seem less intelligent and their vocabulary lacking. 

Tea Drinker:

--- Quote from: hopeful4 on December 03, 2013, 02:25:15 PM ---Update....
Thanksgiving was relatively peaceful!  Yeah!  Except for my college age neice dropping a few unneccessary F- Bombs (they are NEVER necessary) swearing was kept to a minimum and no polictical talk!  I just wish my sister and neices would realize that, when they use the F-bomb or the D@--, they make themselves seem less intelligent and their vocabulary lacking.

--- End quote ---

I doubt you will convince them of that, because it's so subjective: someone can have a 5,000-word vocabulary, all entirely inoffensive, and someone else can have and use a 10,000-word vocabulary, including a handful that are offensive to some people. To the person with the larger vocabulary, someone else might seem less intelligent and their vocabulary lacking because they keep repeating the same few inoffensive adjectives.

Focus on what matters in their interactions with you: that you would prefer that they not use certain words. You wouldn't be happier if they mixed the swearing with an extremely varied, multi-syllable vocabulary. I'm fairly sure that getting them to say something like "that's F----ing self-contradictory. Haven't they ever heard of the [obscenity] excluded middle" instead of "that's F----ing stupid" isn't your goal. (If I ask someone not to use "lame" or "gay" as a general-purpose insult, I don't assume that their vocabulary is lacking. On the contrary, I am assuming that they know words I find more appropriate.)

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