General Etiquette > Family and Children

If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?

<< < (2/14) > >>

Outdoor Girl:
No one is owed a doggy bag, not even those who are unable to attend the event for unavoidable reasons, like working.  Is it nice to pack a meal for people who won't otherwise get one?  Absolutely.

It depends on how uncomfortable Bob would be.  If it was just that he'd prefer not to attend, I wouldn't have packed him a meal.  But if he is bordering on phobic about crowds and has the potential for panic attacks?  I'd have brought him a meal.

My Mom was a home care nurse.  She bonded with some of her long term patients.  There was one couple in particular.  She had very bad Parkinson's disease and wouldn't go to eat in other peoples' homes because she was embarrassed about spilling food everywhere or her husband feeding her, if the shaking got too bad.  So many a holiday, we took a meal into them after we'd eaten.

gramma dishes:
I think it was EXTREMELY generous for your sister to even invite your room-mate to a 'family' gathering at all.  How nice and inclusive that was for her to do!

Nope.  No soup for Bob. 

I might add that if Bob were actually a dog, and as such wasn't invited to the party, I'd be a little more generous in my attitude about the doggy bag.  Bob the Dog wouldn't have had the choice to be left home while his people were all out having a good time!   ;D

For a dinner party absolutely not. No way. Not a chance.

For Thanksgiving or Christmas? A holiday centered around sharing and thanksfullness and giving and family and friends?
I would send home an overloaded plate to anyone close enough to be invited but unwilling/unable to attend due to discomfort with crowds or adversion to my home furnishings.

I like to think that everyone, absolutely everyone gets a good meal twice a year.

You have to be willing to sing - or at least socialize - for your supper.

Bob's attitude seems to be, "I don't care to socialize with you, but you owe me food simply because you made the mistake of inviting me when I didn't want to go." Even if Bob has a legitimate phobia (which I suspect he doesn't), when you turn down a dinner invitation, it should be understood you have turned down dinner. "Doggie bags" are entirely up to the good wishes of the host, and if he doesn't care to establish a relationship with them, he should not expect the goodies.

I typically will only send food along to someone if they'd planned to attend but then got sick last minute and thus were unable.  Ie if a kid wanted to attend a birthday party but then got sick the day of (happened to me a few times as a kid) I'd either send a piece of cake home with a sibling or bring over a piece later for them to enjoy when they're feeling better.

Or if an emergency came up (ie someone's relative suddenly got sick and they needed to stay home with them or take them to the ER? Sure, definitely they'd get a doggy bag.

But not coming because they don't feel like it? Sorry, no go.


[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

[*] Previous page

Go to full version