Author Topic: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?  (Read 8506 times)

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jaxsue

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #45 on: November 29, 2013, 01:04:55 PM »
I'm coming to the conclusion that doggie bags are some ingrained part of American culture that people from the UK don't 'get'. Never in a million billion years would I expect anybody to be sent a plate/container of food from a party. I'd never expect to take leftovers home if I did attend.

I've never seen anybody take home leftovers, unless it's kids taking home slices of birthday cake, or sometimes my Grandma will give people cake to take home because she won't eat it before it goes stale.

But anything except cake? I've literally never ever seen that. Maybe it's because people don't tend to over-cook as much? I mean, there'll be plenty, and probably some leftovers, but not so much that the householders couldn't finish them before they went bad.

TL;DR: Bob shouldn't expect a doggie bag, because nobody should.

It's not a universal American thing. When I was married, my X-DH's family did do the doggy bag thing, but in my current group of friends who always get together for Thanksgiving it's not done. So, it depends on the situation. As a host, I would think it odd if someone requested a doggy bag up front; it's happened a couple of times in 30+ years of entertaining.

Free Range Hippy Chick

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #46 on: November 29, 2013, 01:06:56 PM »


In most families I know, there will be enough for everybody to get a good meal (i.e. nobody leaves hungry), but it's a rare host that provides enough food for everybody to (potentially) be fit to burst.

Ulsterwoman here - nope, in my part of the world it's a poor host who doesn't feed everybody to the point at which they whimper and beg not to have to eat any more.

But with that as a given, we don't do 'sending plates', we don't do doggy bags as a matter of course, although obviously there are exceptions - at Christmas I'll send a plastic container of turkey and ham away with my SMIL so that they get at least one lot of sandwiches, because she doesn't do a Christmas meal at all now in her own home. With that as a given, she would never ask; she would view that as a social clanger of massive proportions.

I think Teenyweeny's right in general, though. We in the UK do not get this as a concept. If you don't finish your meal in a UK restaurant, you don't ask to have the remainder boxed to take away. If you want takeaway, you go to a takeaway restaurant; if you've gone to a sit-down restaurant, you sit down and eat and you don't expect to take away what you haven't finished. Some places will do it for you but most don't and we don't ask. I would never expect to be sent a complete meal, or even part of one, whether I had missed the gathering through necessity or lack of interest. The only exception, as mentioned before, is birthday cake, which might be sent over for a sick child or the like.

MissRose

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #47 on: November 29, 2013, 01:14:58 PM »
No, he is not entitled to a doggy bag.  In my family, if someone that normally comes for either Easter, Thanksgiving or Xmas cannot make it due to having to work or being sick, then a plate will be made for them for pickup (or a few people will get my dad to bring it to them instead) within a few days of the event. 

perpetua

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #48 on: November 29, 2013, 01:15:33 PM »
I think Teenyweeny's right in general, though. We in the UK do not get this as a concept. If you don't finish your meal in a UK restaurant, you don't ask to have the remainder boxed to take away. If you want takeaway, you go to a takeaway restaurant; if you've gone to a sit-down restaurant, you sit down and eat and you don't expect to take away what you haven't finished. Some places will do it for you but most don't and we don't ask.

The exception to that - at least in my part of the world - is the restaurant that also does takeaway. I wouldn't feel bad about asking to take home what I couldn't finish in the local Indian, because they have takeaway boxes on hand. I've done that on a couple of occasions (although generally our restaurant portions aren't that large that we need to). I wouldn't go to somewhere like Cafe Rouge though and ask to take home half a steak - I'd generally order what I was hungry enough to eat.

The turkey sandwiches all week afterwards thing - very similar to our Christmas dinners. Turkey sandwiches, cold cuts, turkey curry for days afterwards - days and days and *days*, until you never want to see a piece of turkey again as long as you live.


CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #49 on: November 29, 2013, 01:19:56 PM »
My big problem with bringing Bob a plate is that I am strongly opposed to rewarding bad behavior. 

Also, it sounds like Bob didn't interact with the hostess at all.  It isn't the responsibility of his roommates to make requests on his behalf when they are guests at the event. 

I thought these things before I read Bottlecaps' update.  Now my opinions are doubled.  What a jerk.
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

peaches

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #50 on: November 29, 2013, 02:54:20 PM »
In addition, it's rare for UK dinners to be potluck-style. I've never heard of (or attended) one in real life, so all of the food is provided by the hosts, and it's theirs to keep (guests typically, but not always, bring wine).

I think I'd like to move there.

Where I live, they have become ubiquitous.

MrTango

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #51 on: November 29, 2013, 03:14:01 PM »
I don't think anyone is owed a doggy bag ever, regardless of their reason for not attending.

When I'm hosting, no one gets to take a plate for someone who isn't there until everyone's had their fill and the cleanup is all but finished at the end of the party.

jmarvellous

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #52 on: November 29, 2013, 04:43:08 PM »
No one is owed a doggy bag. It's unfortunate that the OP's sister feels a need to set up a leftovers policy at all, IMO.

(For posters outside the US: I've lived in several places and never actually called it a "doggy bag." I call it 'leftovers,' and that's pretty much all.)

We went to a big meal yesterday and brought a pie and quinoa salad, but since dinner was about 4 hours later than we were expecting and we showed up an hour early due to some unpredictably smooth traffic, I ended up making a pumpkin pie while there, helping with 3 other vegetable sides, and 'making' the tofurky and veg gravy, too. Lots of work, but well worth it.

We were sent home with half a pie, half of our leftover salad (hostess took a container of her own), plus most of the leftover tofurky (2 vegetarians here vs. 1 in the hosts' home) and a dollop of mashed potatoes. Oh, and some cheese the hosts bought for before the meal and didn't like.
This is all in line with what we were expecting. If it had been my mom's house, we'd probably have been sent with some cookies and rolls and vegetables and cranberries, too, but she's very generous.

SoCalVal

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #53 on: November 29, 2013, 07:24:21 PM »
I'm in the US, and, actually, I've never known anyone to refer bringing food from other than a restaurant as a "doggy bag" (and, even then, we typically don't).

In light of the OP's additional information, I see no problem with how Sister handled the situation nor do I think it was petty (Uncle contributed to the meal for goodness' sake!).



gramma dishes

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #54 on: November 29, 2013, 08:06:38 PM »
I'm in the US, and, actually, I've never known anyone to refer bringing food from other than a restaurant as a "doggy bag" (and, even then, we typically don't).   ...

The restaurants around here ask "Would you like me to wrap this?"  It's just referred to as "this".   ;D

I have also heard (in restaurants) "Would you like your food boxed to take home?'.   But I honestly haven't heard it referred to as a doggie bag for probably forty years! 

For guests who were unable to attend:  "Would you like to take home some food for Ailing Alice?"

rose red

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #55 on: November 29, 2013, 08:28:12 PM »
I'm in the US, and, actually, I've never known anyone to refer bringing food from other than a restaurant as a "doggy bag" (and, even then, we typically don't).   ...

The restaurants around here ask "Would you like me to wrap this?"  It's just referred to as "this".   ;D

I have also heard (in restaurants) "Would you like your food boxed to take home?'.   But I honestly haven't heard it referred to as a doggie bag for probably forty years! 

Several threads recently talk about doggie bags and I found it funny.  I, too, haven't heard that term used in real life for decades.

I don't think the guy was owed a meal either.  If you don't come "just because," then you provide your own meal.  His attitude is insulting.  I don't care if you don't want to hang out, but you don't get to mooch food after that.

Mergatroyd

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #56 on: November 29, 2013, 11:08:10 PM »
I'm in the US, and, actually, I've never known anyone to refer bringing food from other than a restaurant as a "doggy bag" (and, even then, we typically don't).   ...

The restaurants around here ask "Would you like me to wrap this?"  It's just referred to as "this".   ;D

I have also heard (in restaurants) "Would you like your food boxed to take home?'.   But I honestly haven't heard it referred to as a doggie bag for probably forty years! 

Several threads recently talk about doggie bags and I found it funny.  I, too, haven't heard that term used in real life for decades.

I don't think the guy was owed a meal either.  If you don't come "just because," then you provide your own meal.  His attitude is insulting.  I don't care if you don't want to hang out, but you don't get to mooch food after that.

Parking my POD here.

I feed my guests till they can't eat anymore, and then I keep the rest. After cooking all that, any leftovers are eaten the next day, so I don't have to cook! It's just always been that way. Like a few other posters, We just don't do doggie bags here I guess.  (And I'm totally puzzled about the rice and chilli comment, can someone explain that to me?)

If someone did contribute a dish and was not able to stay to eat for whatever reason, I might return the clean dish with some leftovers in it, if there is enough to do so. I say might, because it has never happened before to me, and probably won't. I generally don't ask guests to bring food.  (I'd likely not be able to eat it due to Celiacs, and wouldn't want to ask them to bring something and then refuse to eat it. )

sammycat

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #57 on: November 30, 2013, 12:10:20 AM »
My big problem with bringing Bob a plate is that I am strongly opposed to rewarding bad behavior. 

Also, it sounds like Bob didn't interact with the hostess at all.  It isn't the responsibility of his roommates to make requests on his behalf when they are guests at the event. 

I thought these things before I read Bottlecaps' update.  Now my opinions are doubled.  What a jerk.

POD!

zyrs

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #58 on: November 30, 2013, 12:26:50 AM »
With your update - no, I don't think Bob should have gotten a Doggy Bag.


kckgirl

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #59 on: November 30, 2013, 01:43:42 PM »
The turkey sandwiches all week afterwards thing - very similar to our Christmas dinners. Turkey sandwiches, cold cuts, turkey curry for days afterwards - days and days and *days*, until you never want to see a piece of turkey again as long as you live.

Or until next year... ;)
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