Author Topic: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?  (Read 8673 times)

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perpetua

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #60 on: November 30, 2013, 01:52:29 PM »
The turkey sandwiches all week afterwards thing - very similar to our Christmas dinners. Turkey sandwiches, cold cuts, turkey curry for days afterwards - days and days and *days*, until you never want to see a piece of turkey again as long as you live.

Or until next year... ;)

Ha, yes! Somehow we forget the horror of week old, dried up turkey in a sandwich by about November and start looking forward to it all over again.

Perhaps it's a bit like childbirth, when your brain makes you forget the pain or you'd never do it again...

Deetee

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #61 on: November 30, 2013, 04:28:45 PM »
With the update on bobs general personality, I'd be less inclined to send him a plate. I was imagining making an allowance for an introvert who couldn't handle crowds, not a mooching moocherface who can handle crowds just fine when it suits him.

lakey

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #62 on: November 30, 2013, 10:19:39 PM »
Actually no one is entitled to have food sent home for them, not even people who can't come for good reasons. It is very nice that the hostess sends a doggie bag home for the ones who have to work, but she doesn't even have to do that.
If the roommate doesn't like going to social events that's fine. Next time make sure he has the number for a good take-out place.

sunnygirl

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #63 on: December 04, 2013, 02:05:00 AM »
Does Bob actually know the sister who is throwing the party? Have they ever even met? From the OP's update it doesn't sound like there is any relationship there, other than the sister hearing the OP talk about what a moocher he is.

If a roommate of mine was given a food parcel or any kind of gift by an immediate family member, it would never even occur to me to be upset that they didn't give me - a total stranger to them - the same gift also. I just find that attitude utterly bizarre.

Mel the Redcap

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #64 on: December 04, 2013, 05:44:59 AM »
Short answer to the titular question:

No.

Longer answer, bearing in mind all the details given about Bob:

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *choke*gasp*wheeze* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahaaaaaa… No. >:D
"Set aphasia to stun!"

123sandy

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #65 on: December 04, 2013, 05:54:49 AM »
No one is owed or entitled to a doggy bag but personally I would have felt awful walking in with a plate for one person and nothing for the other, and it would have spoiled my enjoyment of the meal if I was the one eating it. I think, in this case, it was petty to leave Bob out.

petal

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #66 on: December 04, 2013, 09:45:23 AM »
In my opinion, if Bob decided he didnt want to spend time on Thanksgiving with people who had invited him out of kindness and friendship then he certainly wasnt entitled to anything.

no one owed him a single thing and it wasnt even close to being petty not to bring a doggy bag home for someone who didnt want to be in your company.

sammycat

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #67 on: December 04, 2013, 10:52:53 PM »
In my opinion, if Bob decided he didnt want to spend time on Thanksgiving with people who had invited him out of kindness and friendship then he certainly wasnt entitled to anything.

no one owed him a single thing and it wasnt even close to being petty not to bring a doggy bag home for someone who didnt want to be in your company.

My opinion too.

blarg314

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #68 on: December 05, 2013, 09:41:30 PM »

I think Teenyweeny's right in general, though. We in the UK do not get this as a concept. If you don't finish your meal in a UK restaurant, you don't ask to have the remainder boxed to take away.

I think part of the issue is typical American restaurant portion sizes - it's frequently difficult to order a meal that you can physically finish in one sitting, let alone  enjoy a meal with an appetizer and/or dessert. If I'm out for dinner with friends, and feel like actually ordering a main course rather than just a salad (and maybe even enjoying an appetizer, or piece of cake after the meal), I'll do so with the plan to have half my food boxed up for a meal the next day. Otherwise, I'm stuck eating nothing but appetizers or salads and never a main, or throwing away half the food I order.

In the OP's situation - I could see sending leftovers home from a holiday dinner for family members or friends who can't make it - the host has an ongoing relationship with these people.  But in this case the person in question doesn't actually have any relationship with the hosts - they were asked solely because they were the roommate of the family member. Plus, the invitee turned down the invitation because he didn't actually want to spend time with these people. Expecting a meal to be boxed up and sent home for him under those circumstances is pretty special snowflake, and I suspect it will mean that he doesn't get any further invitations.

oogyda

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Re: If someone chooses not to attend an event, are they owed a doggy bag?
« Reply #69 on: December 08, 2013, 05:48:18 PM »
No one is owed or entitled to a doggy bag but personally I would have felt awful walking in with a plate for one person and nothing for the other, and it would have spoiled my enjoyment of the meal if I was the one eating it. I think, in this case, it was petty to leave Bob out.

I agree with this.  It sounds like Uncle Chatterbox lives with you as as Bob and it would have been awkward for me to be the one ultimately having to pass on SIL's policy. 

I also take issue with SIL's policy.  It sounds very ungracious for her to pass judgment on the worthiness of a person's reason.  It's ungracious for a host/hostess to demand a reason anyway.  It certainly doesn't seem like she would accept "I have other plans." without pressing for details so she could decide whether or not to send a plate. 

Bob sounds like a class A donkey, but that doesn't actually contribute to my opinion at all.
It's not what we gather along the way that matters.  It's what we scatter.