General Etiquette > Family and Children

S/O: If you aren't coming to Christmas, do you get a stocking?

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Surianne:
My feeling is, it's not going to hurt anyone to continue to include Sister in the tradition begun by her own family.  It would be very hurtful to exclude her just because she can't make it to the events held on Christmas day. 

So what's the purpose of excluding her?  Just to make the point that she's no longer considered proper family because she's married and has stepkids?  That seems like the opposite of the Christmas spirit to me.

aussie_chick:

--- Quote from: Ticia on December 04, 2013, 04:00:44 PM ---Here's my 2 cents (which is worth exactly what you paid for it.)

MIL should call up SIL and say: "I would *love* to make a stocking for your new husband! What are his favorite colors? (etc, make conversation about the kind of things he'd like in his stocking.) Great! We will have that for you two when you get here after Christmas. We're so excited to see you guys, we can't wait! Now, how are you going to get your contributions to the stockings here before christmas? You could mail them and I'll distribute them in the stockings on Christmas Eve, if you'd like? Just make sure that everyone's names are on the gifts for the stockings, and I'll set everything up."

--- End quote ---

Thank you Admin! this is what I wanted to say in my earlier post but I rambled on so much, I didn't say it how I intended!

Include them in the stocking tradition, but make sure they're including themselves but sending their contributions.

JenJay:

--- Quote from: Surianne on December 04, 2013, 11:57:03 PM ---My feeling is, it's not going to hurt anyone to continue to include Sister in the tradition begun by her own family.  It would be very hurtful to exclude her just because she can't make it to the events held on Christmas day. 

So what's the purpose of excluding her?  Just to make the point that she's no longer considered proper family because she's married and has stepkids?  That seems like the opposite of the Christmas spirit to me.

--- End quote ---

As one of the people who suggested possibly excluding her next year (but not this year, to see how it plays out), I don't think it's fair for OP and the rest of the family to continue buying gifts to fill the sister's stocking (and now her husband's) if they don't reciprocate with little gifts for everyone else. It has nothing to do with her new marital status. I personally wouldn't care if her gifts were sent ahead or if she made arrangements to pass them out after.

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