Hostesses With The Mostest > Entertaining and Hospitality

Cookie swap allergy requests?

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Knitterly:
I have been invited to a cookie swap party.  I'm looking forward to it.  I have already RSVP'd.  My husband has a nut allergy and so we have a nut free home. 

One guest mentioned that she was planning on making something with nuts.  Another guest nearly always brings nut-based cookies to playgroup. 

There aren't that many people going.  At least one other invitee (not sure if she's attending) has a child with a nut allergy.

Would it be very rude to email the hostess and ask that she make it a nut free party?  I am afraid that if I go and 2 or 3 people bring nut cookies, I will not be able to participate in the swap. 

I'm thinking of something along the lines of :
"Hey Sue,
Would it be horrible to ask for a nut-free party?  I don't want to be a pain in the butt, and I feel like I am being that just by asking.  Mr K has a nut allergy and we have a nut-free household as a result.   
I know Janet said she's bringing almond cookies, and Jodie frequently makes cookies with nuts in them for playgroup.  But Mr K is allergic to nuts and we keep a nut free home.  I'm a little worried that I'll get there and find half or more of the cookies will have nuts in them.
I'll make something other than the Rum Balls I was planning on, since I know Janet doesn't like Rum Balls (I'll probably do a batch of rum balls and a batch of sugar cookies so I have something to exchange)."

I kinda feel like my alternative would be to just change my mind and not go, but that's a really extreme reaction as these are all pretty close friends.
(At least, they are close to me, not actually close to Mr K, so there is no reasonable way to expect them to remember that he has a nut allergy.)

Outdoor Girl:
I would email the hostess to change your RSVP to 'No' but tell her why.  'Sue, a number of other people have said they are bringing cookies with nuts in them, which unfortunately, Mr. Knitterly is allergic to.  So I won't be able to participate after all.'

I do think it would be rude to ask the hostess to change the parameters of the party.  If she offers to when you decline, that's fine.  Or maybe you could ask if it was OK if you came for the party but didn't participate in the cookie swap due to the allergy.  That way, you could enjoy the comraderie but not worry about taking cookies home.  Maybe bring a small plate of something to share at the time, not to be included in the swap.

rashea:
I'm not sure why you can't just swap with people who bring cookies without nuts? Yes, I suppose you wouldn't get as many back, but maybe you can trade with people.

Outdoor Girl:

--- Quote from: rashea on November 29, 2013, 03:15:20 PM ---I'm not sure why you can't just swap with people who bring cookies without nuts? Yes, I suppose you wouldn't get as many back, but maybe you can trade with people.

--- End quote ---

I'd be worried about cross contamination.  I've done a swap before and you just go around the table picking up cookies.  The chances of getting nuts into the nut free one would be too high.  If everyone brings their cookies pre-packaged and you just have to pick up the container, this could work.  But what if someone opens their nutty cookies on the spot?  It's risky for severe allergies.

magicdomino:

--- Quote from: Outdoor Girl on November 29, 2013, 03:18:00 PM ---
--- Quote from: rashea on November 29, 2013, 03:15:20 PM ---I'm not sure why you can't just swap with people who bring cookies without nuts? Yes, I suppose you wouldn't get as many back, but maybe you can trade with people.

--- End quote ---

I'd be worried about cross contamination.  I've done a swap before and you just go around the table picking up cookies.  The chances of getting nuts into the nut free one would be too high.  If everyone brings their cookies pre-packaged and you just have to pick up the container, this could work.  But what if someone opens their nutty cookies on the spot?  It's risky for severe allergies.

--- End quote ---

Cookies are good, but nut allergies are nasty enough that the cookies aren't worth the risk.  Even asking people to bring only nut-free cookies brings the risk of someone not understanding that nut-free means washing utencils thoroughly if a previous recipe contained nuts; that ground almonds are not flour; that you shouldn't snack on pecans while rolling the dough into balls, etc.

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