I think it would be very rude for the OP to request anything. It's not her party. She was invited. And she accepted the invitation knowing that two of the guests frequently make cookies with nuts.
I also think it puts Sue in a very uncomfortable position.
I totally agree with this. It is completely inappropriate to ask. I think it is ok to change your rsvp to no and say why, if asked.
Me too. As a guest, I would back out if the host asked me to comply. I am not comfortable that my kitchen would be up to the standards needed by someone with a severe enough allergy to require a nit-free environment.
That's right. It puts everyone else on the spot too. I would be way too nervous I use something that is not allowed. It isn't fair to put that on everyone unless from the very beginning it is specified as nut free.
Even if it had been specified at nut-free from the beginning, it is completely unrealistic to expect someone who does not have a nut allergy or some other severe food allergy, to know how to pull off allergen free cooking/baking. With the exception of one person, I do not know anyone that knows how to sanitize a kitchen down to severe, life threatening allergen free standards or that knows how to read and triple checks food labels. It's just not going to be in my expectations that anyone else is going to go through all of that or something is not going to slip by them that they do not know about.
People, in general, may wipe down counter tops and other surfaces, but I don't know if they'd even think about sanitizing previously cleaned kitchen utensils/cutting boards that may still have minute traces of offending allergen. Not to mention possible previously cross contaminated ingredients. What if their recipe calls for a tablespoon of jam or jelly, they grab the already open jar that another family member dipped a knife with trace smears of peanut butter in when they made a sandwich? They probably just landed some peanut allergy sufferer in the hospital. Not that they meant for that to happen, but things like that happen all the time to people with severe allergies, even with the most diligent, welling meaning people.
One that happened to me was a severe anaphylactic reaction after eating some cut fruit. The person cutting it had cut fruit I am severely allergic too first and then just wiped everything down with a damp cloth, considered that clean, then cut the rest (knowing that I was allergic to the first fruit). Let me tell you, not being able to breath, breaking out in anger/burning/itching/welt-raised hives, stabbing myself with an epi-pen that really (Oh, I'm a pottymouth extraordinaire!) hurts, then going to the ER to be monitored, is not how I want to spend my time because someone thought their kitchen was clean enough.
Here's a packet for restaurants on how to handle food allergies. Starting on page 52 is a common list of allergens' other names listed on labels (not sure it's 100% complete, but it gives you an idea of how complicated it can be). http://www.foodallergy.org/document.doc?id=143