Cookie swap allergy requests?

[perpetua]

See, this is why I'm really enjoying being on this forum. Thanks to threads like these, I knew last night to check with my GF friend about making her a loaf in the bread machine after I'd been making normal bread and whether I needed to do anything special to the pan or measuring spoons beforehand. This never would have occurred to me in a million years before. Thanks all!

On topic, I'm another who doesn't think you can ask for the nature of the party to be changed, I'd just change my RSVP in that kind of situation.

[NyaChan]

This is going to sound bad, but I swear there is a reason why I do this!

When I am baking for a larger group of people and don't know about their restrictions or allergies, I actually prefer to include nuts in the recipe.  It is not so that any people in the group who might have nut allergies don't get dessert - I want them to have dessert too!  But I am terrified that someone will ask "Are there nuts in these cookies?" and I'll say no, because I ran out of the pecans I wanted to use, only to find out when they are gasping on the floor for breath that they have an allergy and my nut-less cookies were made with sugar that I store next to the walnuts or some such thing. 

I don't want any doubt in anyone's mind about the safety of eating that cookie.  It is of course different if I have reason to believe someone does actually have an allergy because then I can ask and see if there is a way for me to accommodate them.

[MurPl1]

I realize the OP is not getting to attend the cookie party, but I did want to add my perspective.  We have a neighborhood exchange every December and a few of us really get into it.  Especially my DH.  We start talking about cookie choices in October and by the time the invite comes, I've already got my cookie choice planned.  To be told later that I'd potentially have to scrap my choice would take all the fun out of the event for me.  And likely, I'd not waste my time the next year or just do some random dial-in plain ol cookie that you can get anywhere.

[workerbee]

I realize the original situation is resolved, but just to add my two cents -- I don't think it would be reasonable to request that the cookie exchange be nut free, for many of the reasons already stated. I would probably be so nervous about somehow contaminating my cookies, that I would just end up not participating.

As an alternative, I would suggest maybe asking the host to send a "reminder" to guests that some guests may have nut allergies, and to perhaps consider these folks in your holiday baking....That might spur me to bring my usual special cookies with nuts, and then purchase a nut-free option for the exchange as well.

[sparksals]

I realize the original situation is resolved, but just to add my two cents -- I don't think it would be reasonable to request that the cookie exchange be nut free, for many of the reasons already stated. I would probably be so nervous about somehow contaminating my cookies, that I would just end up not participating.

As an alternative, I would suggest maybe asking the host to send a "reminder" to guests that some guests may have nut allergies, and to perhaps consider these folks in your holiday baking....That might spur me to bring my usual special cookies with nuts, and then purchase a nut-free option for the exchange as well.

I don't think this is appropriate either.  It puts the additional guests on the spot.   It sounds almost like a guilt trip.

[Knitterly]

Well, I am still going to be participating, yay.

Here's how it went down:
I emailed the hostess to let her know I could not attend.  We talked and I decided to drop off my cookies anyway, since I'm going to be right by her house the day before.  She will then facilitate my part of the exchange.
I'm going to be making a simple sugar cookie and some rum balls.

I let her know that since Mr K has a nut allergy, we don't have nuts in the house.  So, could she please bypass the cookies with nuts in them.

She will do that for me.

I will pick them up from her the following day.

The cookies are all separated into individual baggies, so I don't have to worry about cross-contamination too much.

Mr K's allergy is not anaphylactic.  He will, however, break out in painful hives and eczema that can last days or weeks (and he has been hospitalized for such reactions in the past).
So if someone makes a cookie in a house with nuts, the liklihood of having a severe reaction is actually small.  Sorry I wasn't clear about that.  He will react if he eats a cookie containing nuts or if his cookie is sitting on top of nuts, etc.  Peanuts are by far his worst allergy, but again they won't kill him.  They will make him itchy and uncomfortable for days.

Interestingly, I am not the only person participating in the exchange who has a nut-free house. 

[Peregrine]

The way my social group has dealt with exchanges is to invite all.  Usually about half the attendees participate in the swap, but we all sample the goods.  Those not exchanging will generally bring a bottle of wine, an appetizer to share, or some other nibblies to pass.  This way everyone gets to come and enjoy themselves, and there is no pressure to participate in the swap.  This works really well for a group comprised of stay-at-home moms with more time and our work-out-of the home sisters who want to socialize but haven't the time to bake.  We also generally bring multiple copies of our recipes so we can share those as well too.

I have participated in both cookie, and soup swaps

[lowspark]

Good solution.

I'm late to the thread but my take on it is to do what you're doing. Attend (if you could have), just take the cookies that are nut free, and say no more about it.

I'm a pretty social person so any excuse to go to a party works for me. I was invited, a long time ago, to a cookie exchange party even though I'm Jewish (so therefore don't celebrate Christmas in any form). In addition to the cookie exchange the hostess requested everyone briing an ornament for a gift exchange. Well heck, you know, I don't exactly have any ornaments hanging around the house, nor do I need any. But what the heck, it's a party!

So, I baked my cookies, and bought an ornament and participated fully and had a great time. I went home with an ornament, which I later gave to another friend and ate up lots of yummy cookies.

So yeah. You go with the flow. Even if I couldn't take home any of the cookies, I'd still go, just for the fun of attending the party and socializing. But I definitely agree that it's not cool to ask the hostess to make a change that would affect everyone else she invited.

Asking for a nut free party? No.
Holding your own next time? Sure!

[Knitterly]

UPDATE:

My mother in law offered to watch Little Knit at the last minute so I could go.
And I went.

And you know what?  No one had cookies with nuts.  A few people had cookies for which the original recipe called for nuts, but remembering that Mr K has an allergy, they chose not to include the nuts.

And you know what?  I'm glad I didn't ask for special consideration.  It really made me realize what amazing and special friends I have.  <3

[Nikko-chan]

UPDATE:

My mother in law offered to watch Little Knit at the last minute so I could go.
And I went.

And you know what?  No one had cookies with nuts.  A few people had cookies for which the original recipe called for nuts, but remembering that Mr K has an allergy, they chose not to include the nuts.

And you know what?  I'm glad I didn't ask for special consideration.  It really made me realize what amazing and special friends I have.  <3

Awesome! And now reading this thread has made me want to bake. It's great that your friends did that for you knitterly.

[cabbagegirl28]

UPDATE:

My mother in law offered to watch Little Knit at the last minute so I could go.
And I went.

And you know what?  No one had cookies with nuts.  A few people had cookies for which the original recipe called for nuts, but remembering that Mr K has an allergy, they chose not to include the nuts.

And you know what?  I'm glad I didn't ask for special consideration.  It really made me realize what amazing and special friends I have.  <3

Pardon the pun, but that's really sweet. I'm glad you have such great friends

[bloo]

UPDATE:

My mother in law offered to watch Little Knit at the last minute so I could go.
And I went.

And you know what?  No one had cookies with nuts.  A few people had cookies for which the original recipe called for nuts, but remembering that Mr K has an allergy, they chose not to include the nuts.

And you know what?  I'm glad I didn't ask for special consideration.  It really made me realize what amazing and special friends I have.  <3

Pardon the pun, but that's really sweet. I'm glad you have such great friends

I agree. That is soooo nice!

[Roe]

Though I agree that it was a nice thing for them to do, I'd still be careful as the odds of them baking in a nut free kitchen is low.  It's amazing to me what items contain traces of nuts.