Author Topic: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?  (Read 6658 times)

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kckgirl

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #15 on: November 30, 2013, 09:30:58 AM »
I know you don't have to do it, but before you call to let your friend know you can't pick them up at 6 a.m., I would find the number of the local airport shuttle and having it ready to give her.
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mich3554

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2013, 10:01:52 AM »

Getting a cab to the airport is a little trickier than getting one from the airport. 


Is it? Can you not call a local cab company and arrange for them to pick them up from your house? I'd have thought it was actually easier, because you don't have to wait around for a cab to become free.

I've never understood the airport pick up thing either. I figure it's like tipping - you factor the price of a cab there and back into the cost of your trip away.

OP, I think if you want to 'back out' - and I don't think you are 'backing out' since you didn't commit to the return pick up anyway - you could frame it as "Friend, I was thinking about our conversation and I think there might have been a misunderstanding somewhere - I can take you to the airport, but I can't pick you up - I just wanted to make sure that was understood?"

Usually, there are cab stands outside the airport so getting home is easier.  But IME, even if you have made arrangements for a cab to pick you up, it can be hit or miss whether or not they show to pick you up.

Last time I had a flight, it was cheaper for me to pay for 2 trips to the airport via cab than to park for a week in long term parking.  Cab didnt show up and when I finally got through to the company that was supposed to pick me up, it was going to be another 30 min that I couldn't waste or I would have missed my flight.

mich3554

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #17 on: November 30, 2013, 10:06:32 AM »
I know you don't have to do it, but before you call to let your friend know you can't pick them up at 6 a.m., I would find the number of the local airport shuttle and having it ready to give her.

Shuttles tend o run to downtown hotels, not residential areas.  We have an airport shuttle that will pick up/drop off at a hotel off the highway but it is still another 7 miles to get home.

kckgirl

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #18 on: November 30, 2013, 10:11:54 AM »
In our area, you can call a shuttle service for pickup and return to your home or office. One that serves many areas is SuperShuttle, http://supershuttle.shuttlefare.com/.
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Lynnv

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #19 on: November 30, 2013, 10:29:50 AM »
In our area, you can call a shuttle service for pickup and return to your home or office. One that serves many areas is SuperShuttle, http://supershuttle.shuttlefare.com/.

I take them from the airport to my home whenever DH can't come pick me up at the airport (if my flight comes in before the school day ends, usually).  They aren't bad.  Since you are sharing a shuttle, it can take a while to get to wherever you are going, since you might be the first stop or the last.

As far as your friend, you left her under the impression that you would give her a ride home.  You should correct that ASAP, but if you never agreed to pick her up, I think you are in the clear.  It would certainly have been better to tell her it wouldn't be possible when she assumed a ride TO the airport meant a ride home as well.  She may well be annoyed that you didn't tell her "no" right up front so that she could make other arrangements and instead let her believe you would be doing her this favor.


And OT, but a 6 am arrival time?! Unless they're traveling a REALLY long long distance, that seems insanely early. Who does that?

I end up on early flights rather regularly.  Sometimes it is the only flight that will get me there on time.  Sometimes it means an extra night sleeping in my own bed rather than a hotel if I can fly in Monday morning instead of Sunday afternoon.  Sometimes it is the only flight that fits in my corporate travel policy.  Sometimes it is the flight that gets me home soonest after an assignment.  Honestly, if people didn't take early flights, they wouldn't offer them.  I don't think it is all that strange to arrive at 6am.

In the case of the OP, if I was asking someone to pick me up from a 6am flight (aside from DH who is stuck doing it because he married me  ;) ), I would be very upfront about how big a favor it was and the times so that the person could easily decline.  But, truthfully, for early flights, I just catch a shuttle home or to my assignment.
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BigBadBetty

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #20 on: November 30, 2013, 11:34:34 AM »
I have had 6 a.m. flights out which means I have to leave my house before 5 a.m. I didn't even ask my live-in boyfriend to take me in. He did even though I tried to convince him that it went beyond the call of duty. Where I live, cabs are reliable. You arrange them ahead of schedule. I have family in the Phoenix (much bigger city than where I live) suburbs. There are a few shuttle companies that you can arrange rides to take you to and from the suburbs.

I agree with others that you didn't agree to that. I think that time is too early to expect anyone to pick you up. I have taken a lot of really early outbound flights. I would have preferred a different time but sometimes the later flight is too late, expensive or involves a really long layover.

delabela

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #21 on: November 30, 2013, 12:05:00 PM »
You probably should have said at the time "oh, I don't think I'm going to be able to pick you up" - even if you didn't actively commit, you've left her with the impression you're ok with picking them up.  It's totally fine not to, but you do need to just tell her straight out. 

VorFemme

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #22 on: November 30, 2013, 12:07:48 PM »
Getting to the airport and getting back from the airport is easy, you just have to drive there and pay the long term parking fees for your car.  Granted, you might have to ride a shuttle between the terminal and the parking lot (some of the cheaper long term parking areas are NOT walking distance from the terminal) - but it's easy enough to do.

Or you pay a cab & tip them.

Getting someone to take you there and pick you up - then you want to be EASY to drop off & pick up - that means flights that don't involve them missing sleep or work AND you do them a favor in return (gas money & toll money is a given - but a little something extra is never a bad idea).  For someone who does NO FAVORS for other people - well, they don't get what they don't give - sooner or later, people do notice.
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gramma dishes

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #23 on: November 30, 2013, 12:31:21 PM »
I think you can back out, but the better course would just be honest.  Tell her, I can take you to the airport, but I cannot pick you up.  If she gets upset, than she isn't a very good friend. You do not need a reason, it's obvious that 6am on weekends, most people are still asleep.  She can always take a cab.

I agree wholeheartedly with this.  You agreed to take her to the airport.  She sprung the "pick up" thing on you by surprise.

Just tell her you will be happy to take her there as you had agreed to do, but you will not be able to pick her up.  And if she asks why?  I'd be tempted to tell her the truth.  "I don't want to!"

Honestly it would never occur to me to ask someone to pick me up at the airport at such a crazy time. 

P.S.  Does this friend reimburse you for gas and tolls, etc. when you drive her to the airport?  I think getting a cab from the airport to her house might even be less expensive than you driving all the way there, then to her house, then back home.

gramma dishes

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #24 on: November 30, 2013, 12:36:18 PM »
I know you don't have to do it, but before you call to let your friend know you can't pick them up at 6 a.m., I would find the number of the local airport shuttle and having it ready to give her.

Shuttles tend o run to downtown hotels, not residential areas.  We have an airport shuttle that will pick up/drop off at a hotel off the highway but it is still another 7 miles to get home.

True.  But let's say your flight arrives at 6:00am.  You have to disembark the plane, get your luggage, wait (probably) a few minutes for the bus to arrive, then it takes a while to drive to the hotel.  By now some considerable time has passed. 

It's much less of a burden to ask a friend or family member to drive seven miles to a hotel to pick you up an hour or two later than to ask them to wake up before the crack of dawn to drive all the way to the airport to get you.  At least that's how I'd feel if I were the 'picker upper'.   ;)

Mergatroyd

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #25 on: November 30, 2013, 12:52:14 PM »
I agree that you need to make sure she knows you will not be standing at the arrivals gate at 6:00 AM waiting for them. However, if she brings up the cost of the taxi home (you said it's forty minutes to the airport from her place?) you can tell her about the limos.  >:D Taxis charge per km or minute (or both) but Limos charge by the hour. Last time I flew into a place with a forty minute drive to my destination, it cost me 60$ to take a Limo there instead of the 100$+ it would have been for the taxi.

Much more comfortable too.  8)

SoCalVal

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #26 on: November 30, 2013, 01:00:29 PM »
You're fine; you didn't commit to picking her up.  However, you do need to contact her ASAP and confirm you will be driving them to the airport, not picking them up.

I'd also confirm she's covering any tolls and parking.

I agree with others that if SO is so intent on a 6am arrival time, then SO can figure out how to get them home.



perpetua

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #27 on: November 30, 2013, 01:02:17 PM »
I know you don't have to do it, but before you call to let your friend know you can't pick them up at 6 a.m., I would find the number of the local airport shuttle and having it ready to give her.

Shuttles tend o run to downtown hotels, not residential areas.  We have an airport shuttle that will pick up/drop off at a hotel off the highway but it is still another 7 miles to get home.

True.  But let's say your flight arrives at 6:00am.  You have to disembark the plane, get your luggage, wait (probably) a few minutes for the bus to arrive, then it takes a while to drive to the hotel.  By now some considerable time has passed. 

It's much less of a burden to ask a friend or family member to drive seven miles to a hotel to pick you up an hour or two later than to ask them to wake up before the crack of dawn to drive all the way to the airport to get you.  At least that's how I'd feel if I were the 'picker upper'.   ;)

I agree but surely the best course of action is to get a cab home either from the airport or where the shuttle drops you off rather than troubling people to do something you could easily accomplish yourself?

I don't understand why people need friends or family to 'take them to the airport' when (generally) they're quite capable of getting there under their own steam. I see the point about not wanting to rely on a cab which might be late and make you miss a flight, but coming home that doesn't apply. It may cost a little more, but it's all just part of being an adult and making your own travel arrangements, surely?

Tea Drinker

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #28 on: November 30, 2013, 01:07:09 PM »
Come to think, if she brings up the cost of the taxi home, you could point out to your friend that her partner should have thought of that when he arranged a 6 a.m. arrival. If he booked the earlier flight because it was a lot cheaper, they'll still come out ahead. If he chose it thinking "oh, this one will save thirty dollars," maybe next time he'll take airport transport costs into account.

As a side note, while I sometimes select flights for myself and my spouse when we're traveling, I don't do it without getting his input: I tend to look at things, and say "the options that look reasonable to me are these, what do you think?" I wouldn't book a red-eye if we could avoid it, for him, me, or both of us, because I know we don't like those.
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miranova

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Re: Is it okay to back out of committment in this instance?
« Reply #29 on: November 30, 2013, 01:32:01 PM »
I know you don't have to do it, but before you call to let your friend know you can't pick them up at 6 a.m., I would find the number of the local airport shuttle and having it ready to give her.

Shuttles tend o run to downtown hotels, not residential areas.  We have an airport shuttle that will pick up/drop off at a hotel off the highway but it is still another 7 miles to get home.

True.  But let's say your flight arrives at 6:00am.  You have to disembark the plane, get your luggage, wait (probably) a few minutes for the bus to arrive, then it takes a while to drive to the hotel.  By now some considerable time has passed. 

It's much less of a burden to ask a friend or family member to drive seven miles to a hotel to pick you up an hour or two later than to ask them to wake up before the crack of dawn to drive all the way to the airport to get you.  At least that's how I'd feel if I were the 'picker upper'.   ;)

I agree but surely the best course of action is to get a cab home either from the airport or where the shuttle drops you off rather than troubling people to do something you could easily accomplish yourself?

I don't understand why people need friends or family to 'take them to the airport' when (generally) they're quite capable of getting there under their own steam. I see the point about not wanting to rely on a cab which might be late and make you miss a flight, but coming home that doesn't apply. It may cost a little more, but it's all just part of being an adult and making your own travel arrangements, surely?

Ultimately it is everyone's own responsibility for their own transportation, yes.  However, these are favors not requirements, just like any other favor that friends do for each other, and it works really well when there is reciprocity.  Everyone saves a bunch of money when some friends are willing to drive each other to the airport occasionally.  We've done if for people and they've done it for us, it works when everyone is willing to reciprocate.