Author Topic: facebook kerfluffles  (Read 5004 times)

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GregariousIntrovert

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facebook kerfluffles
« on: December 02, 2013, 10:14:13 AM »

Oh geez.  DH was posting things about a certain zombie show last night that included spoilers.  A terrible faux pas on his part, I know.  Seriously, I don't know what he was thinking!  Well, friend saw said spoilers from DH and several other people and is going OFF.  DH has deleted his posts that contained spoilers and responded to friends post in a lighthearted way, but didn't include an apology.  Friend just won't quit - anytime someone else replies to the thread he gets more and more dramatic.  Name calling, and accusations that spoiler posts are all malicious.  Now, that made me get all upset.  DH does things that are dumb, as all people do, but he doesn't have a malicious bone in his body!  I suggested he apologize and offer a beer and end it all, but he says friend should just get over it.  I know I need to let DH pick his own battles, but I just can't stand having him be flamed like that!  Men are so weird in what they get upset about and how they "fight".

Talk me down from this!

cwm

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2013, 10:59:02 AM »
Delete, block, ignore. If friend wants to get that mad about someone posting something with spoilers, let him. But don't let his vitriol affect you or your DH. It was a simple mistake, and one that's really easy to make. Just hide all posts from friend, let him rant, and then once he calms down and he's wondering why you and DH haven't spoken to him, let him come to you.

Just curious, was this spoiler on the level of "Vader is Luke's dad!" or more the level of "Han and Leia kiss"? I can understand a difference in levels of upset over the two, though it sounds like friend is still way out of line.

SamiHami

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2013, 11:03:17 AM »
Friend sounds pretty childish. Yes, I try to avoid spoilers whenever I can, but in reality once in awhile you're going to come across one accidentally. If a friend of mine did what your DH did, I might respond with a "Grrr...I wish you hadn't posted that-haven't seen it yet!" comment, but that would be the beginning and the end of it. "Friend" is being a class-A jerk and needs to get over himself.

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CaffeineKatie

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2013, 12:04:18 PM »
Oh POD to cwm and SamiHami's answers!  I would definitely block anyone continuing to have  such a temper tantrum, even if it is out on cyberspace! 

TootsNYC

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2013, 12:57:46 PM »
I would say that you definitely need to let your DH fight his own battles.

Meanwhile, you need to stop picking at your own "wound"--so either hide that thread (I think you can do that), or block that friend for a while.

Were I DH, I'd probably first try editing that particular post to be "everybody but Bozo" (if you can do that after the fact). Or I'd just delete the whole thread. Or I'd block him for a while.

Hmmmmm

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2013, 01:03:15 PM »
I would say that you definitely need to let your DH fight his own battles.

Meanwhile, you need to stop picking at your own "wound"--so either hide that thread (I think you can do that), or block that friend for a while.

Were I DH, I'd probably first try editing that particular post to be "everybody but Bozo" (if you can do that after the fact). Or I'd just delete the whole thread. Or I'd block him for a while.
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perpetua

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2013, 01:14:59 PM »
Is it a terrible faux pas? Had the show already been broadcast? If so, then it isn't. If people choose not to watch it at the time of broadcast then it's on them to avoid spoilers if they're that bothered.

Agreed that you need to let DH fight his own battles, but I'm not seeing a battle to fight because I don't think he's done anything wrong.

MrTango

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2013, 01:19:54 PM »
OP, I'd recommend blocking this person yourself.  If you DH chooses to follow suit, that's up to him.

GregariousIntrovert

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2013, 01:44:37 PM »
Thanks, everyone!

cwm I'm not sure what the spoiler was -he had deleted it before I saw anything.  I'm sure it had to do with someone dying, as that's pretty much the formula for every episode. 

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2013, 01:56:01 PM »
It's a television show. Yeah, I like to avoid spoilers when I can. But if they happen, they happen. I still enjoy watching the ding dong dang show.

I saw Titanic. I knew the boat was gonna sink. Still sat through the whole movie.

I'd block this friend for awhile and maybe even delete the whole thread. And then not say boo about the show.

Ok, EvilGlitter, would tell the friend that if he really wants to avoid all spoilers until he sees a show, he should live under a rock.

cwm

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2013, 02:05:26 PM »
It's a television show. Yeah, I like to avoid spoilers when I can. But if they happen, they happen. I still enjoy watching the ding dong dang show.

I saw Titanic. I knew the boat was gonna sink. Still sat through the whole movie.

I'd block this friend for awhile and maybe even delete the whole thread. And then not say boo about the show.

Ok, EvilGlitter, would tell the friend that if he really wants to avoid all spoilers until he sees a show, he should live under a rock.

I did tell a friend that. She was watching a show that started in 2002. I was discussing a plot point at a large party from season 3 or 4. In any case, years ago. She got mad and said that I should know how far she'd watched in that particular show and shouldn't even discuss it because she didn't want spoilers. The funny part is that she had come in on a discussion of the most current season of the same show. When I pointed this out to her, she laughed at herself and left the group, but I took her aside later and let her know that I couldn't keep track of who was how far on what shows. If she didn't want spoilers, there was always the option of kindly reminding me "Oh, I haven't seen that yet," and I would try to censor myself, but to come at me angrily about it wasn't necessarily going to have the same results.

Twik

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2013, 04:23:11 PM »
Seriously? It's one thing to be annoyed at someone giving inadvertent spoilers, but to publicly accuse someone of doing them deliberately ("Hah, I'll deliberately spoil someone's enjoyment of this show! bwahahahaha!") is paranoia.
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Yvaine

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2013, 04:34:28 PM »
It's a television show. Yeah, I like to avoid spoilers when I can. But if they happen, they happen. I still enjoy watching the ding dong dang show.

I saw Titanic. I knew the boat was gonna sink. Still sat through the whole movie.

I'd block this friend for awhile and maybe even delete the whole thread. And then not say boo about the show.

Ok, EvilGlitter, would tell the friend that if he really wants to avoid all spoilers until he sees a show, he should live under a rock.

I did tell a friend that. She was watching a show that started in 2002. I was discussing a plot point at a large party from season 3 or 4. In any case, years ago. She got mad and said that I should know how far she'd watched in that particular show and shouldn't even discuss it because she didn't want spoilers. The funny part is that she had come in on a discussion of the most current season of the same show. When I pointed this out to her, she laughed at herself and left the group, but I took her aside later and let her know that I couldn't keep track of who was how far on what shows. If she didn't want spoilers, there was always the option of kindly reminding me "Oh, I haven't seen that yet," and I would try to censor myself, but to come at me angrily about it wasn't necessarily going to have the same results.

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Kari

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #13 on: December 02, 2013, 04:49:26 PM »
I got to watch the exact thing unfold in my Facebook universe. Friend posts the same Walking Dead spoiler and a mutual friend who's known for his hotheadedness flips out: curses, threats, the whole adult tantrum package. Just ignore, ignore, ignore. This is between the spoiler and the spoilee.

sweetonsno

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2013, 05:39:14 PM »
I'm annoyed by spoilers. I can't always get to the midnight premiere of a film. I don't live in a time zone that allows me to watch a program the first time it's shown. Heck, here in the states, Downton Abbey Season Four hasn't even started yet.

I think this is a lot like the people who share news stories that are accompanied by graphic photos but neglect to hide the photo. Are they trying to traumatize a particular person in their feed? No. It's unlikely that they are doing it AT anyone. However, it is pretty oblivious. In some cases, so oblivious that it's tough to imagine someone not knowing better. (I'm thinking of a "shared" story that had an accompanying photo that was incredibly upsetting.)

This guy is way out of line for his tantrum, but your hubby did mess up. In the grand scheme of things, it's a fairly small faux pas. Think of it like talking about a party that someone isn't invited to in front of them. I think your husband should apologize and ask for an apology of his own. I know guys aren't really into the whole feelings thing, but maybe something like, "Hey, I'm sorry that I gave away the ending of the show last night. My bad, and I'll do my best to remember not to in the future. But saying that I did it on purpose/calling me a buttmunch? Not cool, man."