Author Topic: facebook kerfluffles  (Read 4964 times)

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perpetua

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #15 on: December 02, 2013, 05:53:15 PM »
I'm annoyed by spoilers. I can't always get to the midnight premiere of a film. I don't live in a time zone that allows me to watch a program the first time it's shown. Heck, here in the states, Downton Abbey Season Four hasn't even started yet.

I think this is a lot like the people who share news stories that are accompanied by graphic photos but neglect to hide the photo. Are they trying to traumatize a particular person in their feed? No. It's unlikely that they are doing it AT anyone. However, it is pretty oblivious. In some cases, so oblivious that it's tough to imagine someone not knowing better. (I'm thinking of a "shared" story that had an accompanying photo that was incredibly upsetting.)

This guy is way out of line for his tantrum, but your hubby did mess up. In the grand scheme of things, it's a fairly small faux pas. Think of it like talking about a party that someone isn't invited to in front of them. I think your husband should apologize and ask for an apology of his own. I know guys aren't really into the whole feelings thing, but maybe something like, "Hey, I'm sorry that I gave away the ending of the show last night. My bad, and I'll do my best to remember not to in the future. But saying that I did it on purpose/calling me a buttmunch? Not cool, man."

But that's on you to deal with. It's not on everyone else to never publicly talk about anything that you (you general) haven't seen yet. I don't see that the OP's husband has done anything wrong so I can't see that he's got anything to apologise for. Plenty of people avoid FB/Twitter etc if they're really keen not to be spoiled for something until they've seen it. Heck, my Dad doesn't even watch the news if he doesn't want to see the Formula 1 result before he's seen the race (often it's shown as highlights on the BBC several hours later).

If you don't want to be spoiled to the degree you're annoyed about it, it's your responsibility to avoid potential sources of spoilers.

sammycat

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #16 on: December 02, 2013, 10:38:20 PM »
Is it a terrible faux pas? Had the show already been broadcast? If so, then it isn't. If people choose not to watch it at the time of broadcast then it's on them to avoid spoilers if they're that bothered.

Agreed that you need to let DH fight his own battles, but I'm not seeing a battle to fight because I don't think he's done anything wrong.

POD.  Friend is being ridiculous.

If (general) you are living in the time zone that the show is being aired in yet you choose not to watch at that time, it's fully incumbent on you try and avoid spoilers yourself. Otherwise, (1) just avoid social media until you can watch it somewhere, or (2) accept that it likely will be spoiled for you and react in a mature way about it.

The one time I actually was annoyed by a plot spoiler had nothing to do with other viewers revealing all. The TV station itself (the BBC) released a PR still 3 weeks in advance of that episode that revealed a huge plot point (major character death and therefore everything that flowed on from it). Morons. Fan forums went into meltdown about it.  >:(  But, if they hadn't shown that, had I chosen to check twitter etc prior to downloading/watching the episode, then it would have been my own fault if I'd found about it before watching, no one else's.

Deetee

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #17 on: December 02, 2013, 11:10:23 PM »
Delete/Block/Whatever

Spoilers are spoilers. They happen. Discussions of things happen. For a movie that just opened, I think it's nice to give a bit of a lead time. Maybe a week or so. For a book, a few months. If you know someone is watching it, avoid it, but otherwise don't worry. I mean, I'm going to point out the fun bits of Crying Game or 6th sense if I know someone is about to rent those, but otherwise, they've been out 10-15 years. Fair game!

I'm watching Game of Thrones with my husband and I do make sure that I avoid spoilers as I read the book, but that's a bit different.

Lindee

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #18 on: December 03, 2013, 12:35:16 AM »
I enjoy watching the Eurovision Song contest each year. We are in Australia so it is shown on SBS the day after it is on in Europe. What really annoys me is the other TV channels and the radio announce the winners without any spoiler alerts. No, "we are going to tell you the winners so if you don't want to know turn away now", but they usually flash up the picture of the winners as they are going to announce it without any warnings. It doesn't totally ruin it for me as I enjoy the ridiculous songs, costumes and over the top choreography but I would really rather not know while I am watching it.  This has to be deliberate on their part.

Hollanda

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #19 on: December 03, 2013, 07:49:58 AM »

Oh geez.  DH was posting things about a certain zombie show last night that included spoilers.  A terrible faux pas on his part, I know.  Seriously, I don't know what he was thinking!  Well, friend saw said spoilers from DH and several other people and is going OFF.  DH has deleted his posts that contained spoilers and responded to friends post in a lighthearted way, but didn't include an apology.  Friend just won't quit - anytime someone else replies to the thread he gets more and more dramatic.  Name calling, and accusations that spoiler posts are all malicious.  Now, that made me get all upset.  DH does things that are dumb, as all people do, but he doesn't have a malicious bone in his body!  I suggested he apologize and offer a beer and end it all, but he says friend should just get over it.  I know I need to let DH pick his own battles, but I just can't stand having him be flamed like that!  Men are so weird in what they get upset about and how they "fight".

Talk me down from this!

I've been a doofus on Facebook before and just simply deleted my doofusy status and gone on with my life.  Anyone who constantly referred back in a negative way to said status just ended up being blocked from my friends as I simply don't have time for such childish drama.
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Allyson

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #20 on: December 03, 2013, 02:31:57 PM »
Some people blow up, and then are fine a couple of days later; it's the stereotypically 'male' fighting style, but I've not noticed it to be gender correlated all the time. Your husband and his friend will probably get over it on their own, and someone else jumping in will only prolong it. If this is a repeated pattern, where the friend regularly verbally abuses your husband who doesn't like it but won't say anything, I'd give different advice. But if he genuinely doesn't care, it's up to him to not care.

I think the friend is being ridiculous to keep it going publicly; an apology might help but if your husband genuinely doesn't feel he did anything wrong, I can see why it might be hard for him to want to do that.

Spoilers are so weird. Sometimes it's seen as evil to say anything at all about something on the internet, but last year there was a certain Game of Thrones episode where spoilers were *everywhere* right after it aired and it would've been pretty much impossible to go online and not see them. I think it would've been unrealistic to tell people to stop at that point, and people obviously had a great time talking about it in a way that would've been lessened by having to wait...so, I don't know what the answer is.

Mergatroyd

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #21 on: December 03, 2013, 02:40:38 PM »
Is it a terrible faux pas? Had the show already been broadcast? If so, then it isn't. If people choose not to watch it at the time of broadcast then it's on them to avoid spoilers if they're that bothered.

Agreed that you need to let DH fight his own battles, but I'm not seeing a battle to fight because I don't think he's done anything wrong.

POD.  Friend is being ridiculous.

If (general) you are living in the time zone that the show is being aired in yet you choose not to watch at that time, it's fully incumbent on you try and avoid spoilers yourself. Otherwise, (1) just avoid social media until you can watch it somewhere, or (2) accept that it likely will be spoiled for you and react in a mature way about it.

The one time I actually was annoyed by a plot spoiler had nothing to do with other viewers revealing all. The TV station itself (the BBC) released a PR still 3 weeks in advance of that episode that revealed a huge plot point (major character death and therefore everything that flowed on from it). Morons. Fan forums went into meltdown about it.  >:(  But, if they hadn't shown that, had I chosen to check twitter etc prior to downloading/watching the episode, then it would have been my own fault if I'd found about it before watching, no one else's.

Thirding this.
I've been very active in online show forums, and spoilers are only spoilers until the show airs, eastern stand time. West coasters who don't want to be spoiled then get off the site, until it airs locally. Once the show has aired, it is out. Why should everyone else have to avoid discussing it just because one person hasn't seen it? How would we know they haven't seen it? If they care that much, why didn't they just watch it?

Movies are a bit different, because not everyone can go to the movie theatre to watch them. But a TV show? Really?

kategillian

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #22 on: December 03, 2013, 02:58:22 PM »
I think I know what show you're talking about, it is my absolute favorite TV show. If someone puts spoilers on Facebook, I would say dude! I can't believe you said that! And then I would get over it 3 seconds later. Friend is being an absolute baby about this.

Peppergirl

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #23 on: December 03, 2013, 03:42:54 PM »
If I was your husband I would have lightheartedly apologized for the faux pas and removed it. The friend of your DH is being a drama queen.

That Anime Chick

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #24 on: December 06, 2013, 01:47:57 PM »
I think I know what show you're talking about, it is my absolute favorite TV show. If someone puts spoilers on Facebook, I would say dude! I can't believe you said that! And then I would get over it 3 seconds later. Friend is being an absolute baby about this.

This. Simply because by now spoilers are everywhere! The only way to avoid spoilers nowadays is to live under a rock and not watch tv, listen to the radio, read a paper or even turn on a computer.
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Ginger G

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #25 on: December 06, 2013, 03:41:27 PM »
I'm one of those who records almost every show I watch and catches up on the weekend.  I do this for two reasons, I go to bed before most of my preferred shows come on and I like to fast forward through commercials.  So, although I try to avoid them, at times I have come across a spoiler.  It's annoying, but it's just a television show, no need to make a huge deal about it.  One of my FB friends posted a Justified spoiler the next day after the show and I hadn't watched it yet.  I posted something like "Oh no, a spoiler, I hadn't watched it yet!"  He posted back an apology, I wrote back "No big deal, my bad for not watching it sooner  :)"  Your husband's friend is being really over the top in my opinion. 

hobish

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #26 on: December 06, 2013, 04:13:49 PM »

You post spoilers, you get blocked/unfriended. Does that mean I don’t want to be your friend in real life? No. Am I going to throw a tantrum? No. But I don’t want to read what you’re posting. In the age of Netflix and OnDemand, not to mention VCR’s, etc. probably more people watch things after they’ve aired than when they’re actually on. It’s not that hard to post “Walking Dead” and then put the spoiler in comments. Of course, that’s on my own stuff. What goes on on Gish’s FB/social media is really not anything I concern myself with.
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Roe

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #27 on: December 09, 2013, 01:59:29 PM »
I think people who browse FB and then get all upset when they read spoilers are being SS!  Seriously, if you care so much about The Walking Dead or a football game...STAY OFF FB! Easy Peasy.

Your DH doesn't owe him an apology at all.  His "friend" just needs to get over it.

Clockwork Banana

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #28 on: December 13, 2013, 02:39:01 PM »
Ahh, gather around my online friends and harken back to the good old days of yore, when at work or in the hallways of school, we all happily chitter chatted about last night's episode of Happy Days, or Dallas or MacGyver, or 21 Jump Street.....

Modern technology has completely ruined that.  Now we have to resort to talking about boring things like politics, world events, weather disasters, or even worse WORK OR SCHOOL!!!!!

Ok, levity aside, we are living in the DVR and DVD age, and as polite members of society, we need to remember that people do record or purchase, and watch movies and shows at their convenience.  So it is almost like new etiquette rules need to be set for the 21st century.

For instance, what timeline needs to be set to be able to talk freely about a popular television show?  One day, one week, one month after first airing? Or never? Or is it incumbent upon the delayed viewers to avoid any discussion of said show, either online or otherwise?

I actually got caught up in one of these types of discussions quite recently  For years I have been a member of a forum that discusses a British serial that airs five times a week.  The members of the forum are predominantly, but not exclusively, Canadian.  The show had historically in Canada run months behind the British episodes.  So the forum was moderated quite strictly insomuch as *Spoiler* notifications HAD to be displayed prominently by anyone was privy to and posting about current British episodes.

Well things have evolved and now Canada is only a week or two behind Britain.  I had not visited the site for a few months, and when I returned I noticed that quite a few people were being lax about remembering to slap on the spoiler notification.  So, I innocently posed a question about whether the spoiler rules had changed. Well, the kerfuffle that then ensued was insane!!

Everybody seemed to wade in. There were the folks who said that because there was such a small timeline now between new eppies and Canadian ones, that we could just all 'suck it up Buttercup', and if we did not like getting spoilers than stay off the site.  Then there was the other side, who stated that whether it be months, weeks or days, it was still not cool to discuss episodes that had not yet been aired in Canada.

The whole thing got really silly and quite bombastic, and no consensus was ever reached.  There are still people who faithfully paste on the *spoiler* notification, and others who don't.  For me when I visit the site now, I just do that squinty read thing, where you can usually discern that someone's post is going to contain content you don't want to know about, so you can skip on down.

bah12

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Re: facebook kerfluffles
« Reply #29 on: December 13, 2013, 03:07:24 PM »
Your DH's friend sounds like one of those annoying people who think it's on everyone else to solve their problems and make sure they always get what they want.

If you choose (or can't) watch a show when it first airs, be it that you're busy with something else, in a different time zone or recording it to watch with your BFF, then it's pretty much on you to avoid the spoilers the best you can.  That means not watching the news in some cases, not participating in office talk, and especially not getting online.  And even after all of that, chances are that you will, from time to time, come across a spoiler...especially as time goes on.  To throw a temper tantrum about it just proves the child-like thinking that anyone owes you spoiler warnings or would avoid talking about a show just because maybe someone somewhere hasn't seen it yet.

I wouldn't have deleted the spoiler if I were your DH, though he did nothing wrong in either deleting his post or putting it up in the first place.  His friend is an immature, selfish child and frankly his behavior isn't even worth the time that it takes figuring out what to do about it.  Igore him, block him, whatever you want to do.  For me, he'd just be background noice.