General Etiquette > Family and Children

Can't Tolerate Condescending Relative Any Longer

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cwm:
Snarky cwm would wait until KnowItAll started talking about a subject that I knew a lot about, especially one in which there are common misconceptions. Then lecture her all about it, and how it's weird that most people think that, but in all actuality this is closer to what actually happened. Snarky cwm may have even steered conversation toward such obscure topics in the past with her own family members. Polite? No. But said family members never again tried to lecture me about classical music.

The polite response is to drop the rope. Walk away. If she's lecturing you on the ears and planes again, just a quick response when she takes a breath of, "Oh, I got all the advice I need from my doctor, thanks." Turn around and remove yourself from the situation. In other lectures, find a similar phrase to use. Excuse yourself to get a drink, or to go to the bathroom. And if she follows you and keeps lecturing, you won't be the one who looks rude.

Here's the thing, it's not your responsibility to keep her from getting mad. This is an adult. It should be on her to have enough emotional stability to handle people not fawning over her every word. If she gets mad when you don't listen, that is her problem, not yours. And you said her MIL can see how wrong her attitude is. I promise you, other people can see it too.

JoyinVirginia:
Sometimes you can shut down folks like this by mentioning a higher authority you have consulted.
” oh, in law, let me stop you, my doctor has already discussed this with me.”
”in law, actually I know all that already, it is information the ENT specialist gave me.”
Yawn. Seriously, yawn or look away or start planning your shopping list while she is doing this, if you can't avoid her completely.

Hmmmmm:
When I run into these people, I realize that the reason they brag about things you think are common activities or experss knowledge you think everyone knows, it's usually because they have a pretty sheltered existence. She at some point probably heard that when training your dogs you should make sure they know you are the pack leader. She thought that was really, really interesting and unique so fixates on it. Or she might have recently learned about air pressure and because she just learned it she assumes everyone else did.

I once had a co-worker like this. I used to pretend she was an alien from another planet so everything that she came across was knew to her. This was during the time that Third Rock from the Sun was on TV so I always thought of her as the female version of John Lithgow's character and I started playing the part of Jane Curtin's character when I interacted with her.

bloo:

--- Quote from: Hmmmmm on December 02, 2013, 01:31:03 PM ---When I run into these people, I realize that the reason they brag about things you think are common activities or experss knowledge you think everyone knows, it's usually because they have a pretty sheltered existence. She at some point probably heard that when training your dogs you should make sure they know you are the pack leader. She thought that was really, really interesting and unique so fixates on it. Or she might have recently learned about air pressure and because she just learned it she assumes everyone else did.

I once had a co-worker like this. I used to pretend she was an alien from another planet so everything that she came across was knew to her. This was during the time that Third Rock from the Sun was on TV so I always thought of her as the female version of John Lithgow's character and I started playing the part of Jane Curtin's character when I interacted with her.

--- End quote ---

This had me lol'ing because I loved that interaction of those two characters from that show! :)

I would be so tempted, if I was OP, to play a game with KnowItAll:

KIA: Did you know X?
Me: I know.
KIA: Did you know Y?
Me: I know.
KIA: Did you know how A and B interact to make C?
Me: (bored tone) I know.
KIA: Hah! I was testing you. C and B really interact to make A!
Me: (even more bored) I know that too.
KIA: (confused) Are you okay?
Me: I know.

Seriously, just 'know' everything she says. Eventually she'll wander away and grace someone else with her wisdom.

LB:

--- Quote from: Hmmmmm on December 02, 2013, 01:31:03 PM ---I once had a co-worker like this. I used to pretend she was an alien from another planet so everything that she came across was knew to her. This was during the time that Third Rock from the Sun was on TV so I always thought of her as the female version of John Lithgow's character and I started playing the part of Jane Curtin's character when I interacted with her.

--- End quote ---

This is beautiful!  ;D

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