Author Topic: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First  (Read 9498 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

siamesecat2965

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 8550
Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« on: December 02, 2013, 01:49:52 PM »
LW says she prefers to eat his/her dessert first, and recently came under criticism from co-workers while traveling for business beacuse of this. LW also says they only do this when its feasible to order dessert and meal together, and never at dinner parties when the meal is served "in order", and that they don't get why its such a problem.  Now, LW didn't mention whether or not having dessert, then the meal held up CWs, esp if they didn't order dessert, but as long as that's not the case, I don't see any problem with it either.

http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/

I didn't care much for DA's response; mainly her comment about empty calories being consumed. I think that was an "interesting assumption" on her part.And also that if they are being critical, then perhaps it makes them uncomfortable.

I know me personally, if someone i worked with did that, I might find it a bit odd, but wouldn't criticize. Since to me, it really doesn't matter what you eat first.

LeveeWoman

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4137
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2013, 01:53:11 PM »
I think her co-workers should mind their own business.

Pen^2

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1107
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2013, 01:56:43 PM »
I feel the same way, siamesecat2965. Unless LW is inconveniencing others by holding up the food or something, then it's nothing more than an idiosyncrasy. Certainly not rude. As for calories, LW is an adult. What an adult consumes is the business of themselves and their doctor.

To be honest, I always love seeing desserts when dining before I'm due to order one, so I can tell what looks nice. Everything sounds nice on the menu, but when you see the meals, it can make a difference. Sometimes one will look fantastic and I'll think, "Oh, I wish I'd seen that earlier, and I would have ordered the same." So I'd actually be happy to sit with someone who orders their dessert first for this reason.

bloo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1143
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #3 on: December 02, 2013, 01:57:13 PM »
I agree, OP and probably wouldn't comment either except to exclaim 'How different!' and then promptly think about something else.

I wonder if it's possible that those particular diners are annoyed because the sharing of courses has some kind of meaning. For example, maybe they would have liked dessert but since someone already ate, they'll just pass since they wouldn't want to hold things up. I'm trying to imagine myself as a flak-giving fellow diner and maybe that's what I'd be thinking.

I'm kind of grasping at straws here because I can't understand the flak.

NyaChan

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4098
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #4 on: December 02, 2013, 02:02:01 PM »
I think if someone did that, I would probably feel slightly…something.  Not uncomfortable because that is too strong a word, but perhaps a niggling of something?  It would only be because I'd feel a bit of the communal experience of the shared meal is lost or perhaps the niceness of it.  Like the sit down dinner at a restaurant with a group became more like eating a la carte in the cafeteria.  However, it would be so small a thought that I don't think it would register for more than a second and it definitely isn't something that a fellow diner should comment on without some extra reason - a plan to order a larger group dessert or go somewhere else afterwards for coffee and dessert for example.

nayberry

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 713
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #5 on: December 02, 2013, 02:04:26 PM »
i think its a fab idea :)  have to admit i'm very tempted to try it :)

miranova

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1850
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #6 on: December 02, 2013, 02:05:16 PM »
I agree that I would find it odd, but not really make a big deal out of it.  I might make a joke of it if it was someone I was close to.  However, this is not something I would actually do at a work function.  I really don't think drawing attention to yourself for something odd is a good idea professionally.  Not rude, just not wise.

Outdoor Girl

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 13476
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #7 on: December 02, 2013, 02:06:35 PM »
I'd probably be thinking, 'dingdangity, I wish I'd thought of that.'   ;D

As long as the letter writer isn't inconveniencing her fellow diners, she's fine to order dessert and eat it first.  Sure, I might think it was a little strange but to each their own and being an adult means you can eat dessert first, if you want to.
I have CDO.  It is like OCD but with the letters in alphabetical order, as they should be.
Ontario

Redwing

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 339
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2013, 02:07:32 PM »
I saw this today and was thinking of posting it here.  I don't think how he eats his meal is anyone's business.  And Abby got it wrong.  It was not rude.  He never said it made his companions uncomfortable.  He merely said they criticized him for doing so.  I was out for breakfast with my daughter and son-in-law once and my son-in-law ordered a piece of the coconut cream pie he was admiring to eat with his breakfast.  I can't remember if he ate it first or not.  I didn't criticize him, nor did I think he was rude.  We teased him about his sweet tooth, but that was all.

EllenS

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1368
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #9 on: December 02, 2013, 02:11:22 PM »
I disagree with Dear Abby that this was rude.  However, I think it would be ill-advised in a work setting.

It does imply a certain childishness, especially when LW goes on to explain that he/she does so in order to compensate/rebel against their upbringing.

It would make me wonder about my co-worker (or subordinate's) maturity level.  We all do some kind of theraputic "acting out" from time to time, but I don't think work is an appropriate place to bring that up.

MommyPenguin

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4110
    • My blog!
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #10 on: December 02, 2013, 02:14:15 PM »
My guess is that maybe it makes the coworkers have difficulty enjoying their "savory" good with "sweet" food being consumed right next to them.  Those caramelized carrots are pretty good, until you see somebody eating chocolate ice cream with a brownie next to you, you know?  That's my guess as to why it disturbs the coworkers.

But honestly, it's a business trip.  She doesn't really have any choice about being there.  In that case, I don't think it's appropriate to force her to eat her meal in a certain order or to complain about how she eats.  She doesn't have any other options.

ITSJUSTME

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 381
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #11 on: December 02, 2013, 02:15:37 PM »
Sorry but I think DA is forgetting the etiquette rule that says it's rude to comment on what others are eating.  It did not only apply to comments like "ew you're eating THAT???"

cwm

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2427
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #12 on: December 02, 2013, 02:20:05 PM »
Sorry but I think DA is forgetting the etiquette rule that says it's rude to comment on what others are eating.  It did not only apply to comments like "ew you're eating THAT???"

I agree with this. What will the LW's co-workers gain from commenting on someone else's food? What will LW gain from explaining to them?

I think the best answer that LW could give is, "It's how I prefer to eat my meals." No further explanation needed. And if people keep commenting, "I don't comment on other people's food preferences. Please give me the same courtesy."

Margo

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1460
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #13 on: December 02, 2013, 02:22:08 PM »
Interesting. I think Abby was wrong, and quite unnecessarily rude and judgmental in her comments about calories, which makes me want to wholeheartedly disagree with her :-) BUT - polite behaviour is, in part, about making not making other people uncomfortable, and I can understand that LW dining companions might feel uncomfortable, if they are shy or self conscious, and felt that LW's behaviour drew attention to them.  It's not quite like being at the table with the person who is inappropriately  loud or obnoxious to the waiter, because there is nothing inherently rude about eating the meal back to front, but I think it could create a similar feeling of embarrassment / discomfort to fellow diners.

Of course, it's rude of the coworkers to criticise, either way.

The only time I think it would be rude would be if eveyone else wanted a quick snack, and LW is going to 2 full courses,but it doesn't sound as tho that is the case.

SamiHami

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3101
  • No! Iz mai catnip! You no can haz! YOU NO CAN HAZ!
Re: Today's Dear Abby - Eating Dessert First
« Reply #14 on: December 02, 2013, 02:22:43 PM »
The LW is (presumably) an adult. I think she can eat whatever she likes. Eating dessert first is different, and that is probably what bothered her coworkers. Some people have trouble with anything that is not ordinary. It's not like she was kicking puppies; she was just making her own choices about what food to put into her body. It harms no one and she wasn't telling anyone else what they should do.

The only thing I (mildly) object to was her explaining herself. All she should have said is "I prefer to have my meals in this order." or something similar.

What have you got? Is it food? Is it for me? I want it whatever it is!