General Etiquette > Family and Children

Managing Holiday Plans

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It is not avoidance of is avoidance of a toxicity that can ruin one's life.  From the previous stories, FIL and his lovely wife delight in making OP's DH miserable.  They want him to be their puppet..they pull all the strings and he does exactly what they want and when he cuts those strings, they make his life pure hell.  They did every thing they could to ruin OP and her DH's wedding and for that, they should get the cut.  I have had to share a room and suck it up around people that I had given the cut to and it ruined my whole day because I was so tense just waiting for what would happen (and inevitably did) and I vowed I will NEVER do that again.  It is one thing to have to share the auditorium or bleachers with an ex (been there, done that) but you are not 'forced' to have interactions with them at an event like a school play or sporting event that you have to do at a family event.  I would have your DH calmly just tell his brother and his mother that if the dad and step mom come, due to the issues you have had with them, you will quietly leave and then, do so.  If his mom or anyone else wants to make an issue of it, that is on them.  You are both adults who make your own decisions and no one has the right to force you to interact with anyone that you do not want to.  And really, what is with his mom???   I agree with the other posters who say she is waaaaaaaay to invested in her ex's marriage and life.


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