Author Topic: Solo Males Watching Children  (Read 3534 times)

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Deetee

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Re: Solo Males Watching Children
« Reply #15 on: April 08, 2014, 03:47:41 PM »
My daughter had a sub for kindergarten who is a guy. I was thrilled to see a male kindergarten teacher. Ditto for the male worker at her daycare before that.

I am so glad to see men being more involved fathers and I have no concerns with any of the men that look after my kids. In fact, before I read the main blog post I hadn't even considered it. (My daughter spends about one afternoon a week in the care of a non biologically related man.)

I think the post was about protecting the men from false accusations, not the kids. For that, there is no answer. I don't think it's a problem and my friends are not crazy and vindictive. However, it is a real shame that people would let that fear rule their life. [The person who wouldn't have sleepovers for 11 year olds in her house because one of the kids might see her husband and say she say him in his underwear. Over the top. An 11 year old can distinguish between a glimpse in the hallway and behaviour that should make people uncomfortable]


Arila

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Re: Solo Males Watching Children
« Reply #16 on: April 08, 2014, 04:06:41 PM »
From the OP on the main blog it sounded like "Mark" just wasn't comfortable watching kids without help. If they are pregnant with their first, he might just not feel confident in his kid wrangling skills.


Regarding adults alone with children, I participate in a mentoring capacity for a high school club. One of the rules we had was that no adult (male or female) was to be alone with a kid. We could have two kids and one adult, or two adults and one kid etc, but until the 3rd member arrived, we had to sit with the security guard in the lobby. I saw it as a rule meant to protect all of us since the students and mentors may not know that much about one another. In the case where Mark is the husband/fiance's best friend, I don't think this should apply. Presumably, the character is already known.

TurtleDove

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Re: Solo Males Watching Children
« Reply #17 on: April 08, 2014, 04:19:29 PM »
Regarding adults alone with children, I participate in a mentoring capacity for a high school club. One of the rules we had was that no adult (male or female) was to be alone with a kid. We could have two kids and one adult, or two adults and one kid etc, but until the 3rd member arrived, we had to sit with the security guard in the lobby. I saw it as a rule meant to protect all of us since the students and mentors may not know that much about one another. In the case where Mark is the husband/fiance's best friend, I don't think this should apply. Presumably, the character is already known.

Yes, I agree with this.  That is why I was so surprised to see a number of comments about how men specifically would be poor choices to be with children.  I mean, my ex has his faults, but if I learned other parents were concerned that my DD and her friends were in his care simply because he is a single man I would be shocked.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Solo Males Watching Children
« Reply #18 on: April 08, 2014, 04:31:08 PM »
Obviously our society has a long way to go, but scaring honest and true men out of actively engaging children in their daily lives is not doing any good.

POD POD POD.

Actually, I think on this issue it's not that we aren't evolving but that we've scared men backwards in behavior. I grew up in the 70s. There were many male teachers, coaches, counselors, bible study, and youth group leaders I interacted with as a youth and no one was concerned. As a teenager, there was less one on one contact with men outside the family because I do believe that was considered risky behavior.

My DH was a work from home dad throughout my kids lives. No one ever seemed concerned about letting their kids come play even if he was the only adult at home.  I used both male and female teen babysitters when my kids were in elementary. I was no more concerned about the young men I left my son and daughter with than I was of the young women.

While I think reasonable caution is needed by parents and by the adults, I would hope every one would use some common sense in deciding who is suitable caretakers and not use gender as the only deciding factor.

Wordgeek

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Re: Solo Males Watching Children
« Reply #19 on: April 08, 2014, 05:00:45 PM »
Locked, as this isn't an etiquette matter.

Those who are interested, please feel free to post your comments on the blog.  That's what it's there for.

http://www.etiquettehell.com/?p=4198#comments