Rude woman at restaurant and my kids

[Julsie]

Yes, but even if the women had gotten up and moved without saying/doing anything some people would automatically be offended  on behalf of their well-behaved kids.

Chances are, parents wouldn't even notice if someone switched tables quietly and unobtrusively.  For all I know, my family may cause a dining parting of the Red Sea when we arrive at restaurants and I've never noticed.

But I still remember the old biddy who huffed and puffed and glared as she switched tables.  We hadn't even sat down yet!

[Rohanna]

I think some folk forget that just because one is young doesn't mean one isn't a person- it's pretty rude and offensive to make loud comments like that about someone.

[Eeep!]

Yes, but even if the women had gotten up and moved without saying/doing anything some people would automatically be offended  on behalf of their well-behaved kids.

Chances are, parents wouldn't even notice if someone switched tables quietly and unobtrusively.  For all I know, my family may cause a dining parting of the Red Sea when we arrive at restaurants and I've never noticed.

But I still remember the old biddy who huffed and puffed and glared as she switched tables.  We hadn't even sat down yet!

I totally agree.  Personally, even if I did notice, as long as they weren't making a *thing* about it, I wouldn't be offended.  I would assume the people had had some bad experiences in the past that made them wary.  I would mostly just hope (and pray - ha!) that my boys would show them (even from afar) that kiddos can be good.  But since my youngest is currently 1 1/2, realistically I might actually be wishing I could move with them. 

Edited to add: I do not let my boys misbehave at the table or disturb other people, but with the youngest my husband and I often spend a good portion of the meal walking around the restaurant or outside to aid in that endeavor.

[rose red]

Don't engage.  They were rude, but all they did was give a dirty look and moved.  Saying something might provoke them into something worse.  You probably won't ever see them again so nothing can be gained.  And you had a nice dinner without having to hear their loud grating voices

[TootsNYC]

Ooh, too bad you didn't say, "Oh, good!" in a greatly relieved tone of voice with a big smile.


Because that's how I'd feel--that goodness those people weren't going to be near you, making snide little remarks, and sighing, and maybe even admonishing your kids.

AND you didn't have to listen to them being loud and obnoxious themselves.

[Figgie]

I wouldn't ever try to say anything to people with a chip on their shoulders about children being present in the world.  You aren't going to change their minds.

I would also urge parents to not assume that every couple that moves when they are seated next to children are doing so because they expect the children to behave badly.  A few weeks ago, we ended up being seated directly underneath an air duct that was blowing cold air right on the top of my head. 

We had mentioned it to the waitress and asked to be moved.  While she was checking with one of the hostesses, another hostess sat a couple with two young children at the table next to us.  Our waitress came back and told us to follow her. As we got up, the woman at the table said:  "I think it is extremely rude to move just because we have children."

I looked blankly at her and said:  "We are moving because the air duct was blowing cold air and had requested to move before anyone else was seated."  She didn't say anything else, and we were moved to the other side of the restaurant, well away from the air duct.

[Hmmmmm]

Yes, but even if the women had gotten up and moved without saying/doing anything some people would automatically be offended  on behalf of their well-behaved kids.

Chances are, parents wouldn't even notice if someone switched tables quietly and unobtrusively.  For all I know, my family may cause a dining parting of the Red Sea when we arrive at restaurants and I've never noticed.

But I still remember the old biddy who huffed and puffed and glared as she switched tables.  We hadn't even sat down yet!

I agree with this. Primarily because when my kids were little I never really encountered anyone who seemed to have an issue with them existing. But after hearing so many stories I'm sure at some point someone re-arrange their activities to avoid us and our kids.

Had I noticed someone moving tables sitting around us I would have assumed it was because they didn't like the table or there was a draft. It would have never crossed my mind it was because they saw my kids approaching. But because the woman made the comment as the kid's arrived, she was acting out and wanted her opnion known.

Personally because she was loud and with an annoying voice, I'd probably have done a little jig that they were moving and told my kids to order the biggest dessert on the menu as a thank you.

[Secret]

I still remember incidents of being treated poorly  just because I was a kid.  My parents had taught me manners and how to behave in public.  My parents told me that some people just prefer to treat all children a certain way- a prejudice that all kids are little hellions I guess.  I learned that lesson and tried not to take it personally.

Roll your eyes and let the annoying person go.  It is much better than PA comments throughout dinner.  She did you a favor by moving.

[Katana_Geldar]

I would have thought "What's her problem?" And then felt thankful she had rid us of her presence.

I hate it when people assume kids are always going to misbehave in a restaurant. A lot do, but good months ones that don't. Recently, DH and I were in our favourite restaurant and there were kids nearby, including a baby. I said how great it was they were no more loud than a regular group, and DH said he didn't know there were children after all.

[scansons]

I've had this sort of thing happen on airplanes too.  All the sighing and the eye rolling as we walk to our seats with our sons.  Who actually are really good flyers.  I will say when it get's bad, I try and remember the guy on the flight where the eye rolling was the worst.   He got on after us.  So it was the boys and I in the front row, and DH with two strangers behind us.  About 75% of the way through the flight, my oldest turned around to ask his dad something.  They guy next to DH stands up and looks over the seats before exclaiming "There are little kids up there!  I had no idea!  You are some really well behaved boys!"  Then he sat down and said to DH "How do you get them to do that?"  To which DH replied "They've got a really good mother." 

I had to laugh.  I often wish flight guy could just follow us around announcing "These are really good children!" to the world.   But he's never there when you really need him.  Restaurants.  Grocery stores. I think we all could use our own flight guy from time to time. 

[cabbagegirl28]

I've had this sort of thing happen on airplanes too.  All the sighing and the eye rolling as we walk to our seats with our sons.  Who actually are really good flyers.  I will say when it get's bad, I try and remember the guy on the flight where the eye rolling was the worst.   He got on after us.  So it was the boys and I in the front row, and DH with two strangers behind us.  About 75% of the way through the flight, my oldest turned around to ask his dad something.  They guy next to DH stands up and looks over the seats before exclaiming "There are little kids up there!  I had no idea!  You are some really well behaved boys!"  Then he sat down and said to DH "How do you get them to do that?"  To which DH replied "They've got a really good mother." 

I had to laugh.  I often wish flight guy could just follow us around announcing "These are really good children!" to the world.   But he's never there when you really need him.  Restaurants.  Grocery stores. I think we all could use our own flight guy from time to time.

OT, but awww!  That's really sweet.

[esposita]

I think you did good to leave it alone. The very very most that my husband or I might do would be to quietly and calmly ask "Is there a problem?" or "Is something wrong?" immediately after her exclamation. But that would just be engaging the crazy...so it might be best not to! And it would probably take a few seconds for it to dawn on us that she was even referring to us, so the moment would be over before we had a chance!

[Softly Spoken]

I would have thought "What's her problem?" And then felt thankful she had rid us of her presence.

*snip*

This.
OP, I think your "Mama Bear" instincts were tweaked a little because you saw Ms. Loud n' Rude's actions as an 'attack' on your kids - not a real threat but an attack on their character. All she really did was show her own shortcomings - that she is judgmental, impatient, and self-centered.
If you felt compelled to do anything, I would have suggested a lovely smile at her bitterly retreating form. How nice of her to leave your family to enjoy your meal in peace.
Let people like that be nothing more than a breeze through your hair - you are obviously living on different worlds anyway.

[Katana_Geldar]

The best revenge is living well.

[Bookgirl]

Yes, but even if the women had gotten up and moved without saying/doing anything some people would automatically be offended  on behalf of their well-behaved kids.

Chances are, parents wouldn't even notice if someone switched tables quietly and unobtrusively.  For all I know, my family may cause a dining parting of the Red Sea when we arrive at restaurants and I've never noticed.

But I still remember the old biddy who huffed and puffed and glared as she switched tables.  We hadn't even sat down yet!

Yep, I agree.  I'm sure it's happened to us but the only time I ever noticed was when we were seated next to a group at Joe's Crab Shack (hmm, maybe is a seafood thing).  The waves of resentment from the other table started hitting us before we even got to the table.  There were sighs, glares and murmurs along the lines of "Kids!" It made me extremely uncomfortable and I knew that I wouldn't be able to enjoy my dinner because of all the resentment for having breathing children.  When the waitress came to take our drink order, we asked to be moved.