OP here-
My son, at the time about age 8, asked one question to his grandmother about attending her church.
I have spoken to mom 4 times in 2013. The last time was when I crazily thought calling my mom after the death of a friend's child would be a good idea. She briefly gave platitudes and then spend more than half the phone call time telling me the woes of her garden.
I do not know why I keep trying with her.
As for my brothers, one lives 4 hours out further, and the other just moved back from way far away and does not have enough room.
Side story- his wife, Aunt L, revealed to me that she and my baby brother debated even telling mom before they moved to way far away place, to see how long it would take her to notice.
Yet, yes, I will still call mom before we drive 1000 miles to her house. I will ask why no cookies, and I will not mention that I have spoken to one sis-in-law.
I am the oldest, I should be the one to take the hit. And next year, when DD is a senior, we are done.
Mom has only been to my state once, for the funeral of my third child. She changed into street clothes at the funeral parlor and hit the road, because my family had taken too much time.
So, yeah, making cookies with my sane brothers and their families is worth the trip, but not mom, but her house is the only large enough place and cost effective.
I do not go for the gifts!! Two years ago, I received a car trash bag and a clip for a pot to hold a stirrer.
Yay.
E-hell is where I go for ideas, to share thoughts. The only actin I have taken was a phone call to assess if somehow Aunt T., wanted the change to trains only. She is much easier to talk to.
Anyway, it is good to see so many families here able to happily go home each holiday. We had a lovely and yummy Thanksgiving with an "adopted" family and a grandmother who hugs and compliments. That us what I have done for my kids. And DHs parents we see weekly. So, ehell, I will let you know when I am ready to call mom and ask. I have to prepare myself, first.