• May 24, 2018, 05:00:39 PM

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Author Topic: "No dog, no shorts, no cookies." Mom's Christmas rules UPDATE #49,#118 134 FIN  (Read 74756 times)

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I think Region Mom was saying that the family was from TX and mom should have known better to give them the Beef+Beans and expect them to believe it's chili. 

Or, that no one should be surprised that people didn't eat the "not really chili" chili.


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RegionMom here-

I have lived in TX for many years, and DH and kids were born in TX.
Unseasoned ground beef, beans, and tomatoes in a pot for one hour does not equal chili.
 :-[ :P :( ???

Not making chilli the way you like it isn't rude.

RegionMom here-
As for the gift of two large framed prints of an artist from a preschool children's book I really do not remember, yeah, it was more of, "I was shopping an old store and came across this, and the price was cheap, so I got it.  It has been taking up space so it needs to get gone or I will pass it on to charity. 
Nevermind that you have been in your house for over 15 years and it is fully decorated, and that you have older teens, never mind that you have nieces and nephews that ARE preschoolers and might like a matching book to go with the print, nevermind that I am giving you glass over a print that may break as you drive home 18 hours, I myself, as mom of Christmas here, remember at some point in your life that I read to you one of the books related to this print, so therefore it will be your gift."

Think of any cute animal story  book for preschool- and give two framed prints related to one of those stories that are  too large to fit in a family sized suitcase.   Not collector's editions of signed prints, not a beloved book, not a book I have a copy of or have for my own kids, just a vague, "yes, you had this read to you and you liked it."

Since I am the oldest, and it was so loved, (and it is a unisex book) why was it not shared with my younger brothers?


Two years ago I received from her a car trash bag and a clip on thingee for a pot to hold the stirring spoon, so I guess this year was better. 

Did she actually say any of this? If so, that changes the story completely. But if she didn't, then you're making a lot of inferences. You don't like the present, I get it, but again, getting someone a present they don't like isn't rude.

I think you're trying very hard to find fault with your mothers hospitality.


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Lolly legs, I think when the op mother complained about having to wash extra towels the op family used during visits years before kinda gives you an idea of  mom's hospitality.  I get the picture of an older woman, living alone, who has a routine and really doesn't want anything or anyone to change that routine. But she has her children and grandchildren visit for Christmas because that is what is expected to happen. Not because she particularly enjoys it.
One of my deceased aunts was like this. She said she enjoyed visits but heaven forbid that one single knick knack was out of place and never visit when her ” stories” (soap operas) were on TV. You could almost hear her sign of relief when you walked out the door.
Op, glad that you enjoyed the time with your brothers and that your children had fun with their cousins.


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Oh, yes, some is speculation, but is rooted in reality.

One year she brought in a small box saying, "this was lying on a top shelf in the hall closet, if you do not want the junk inside, I will toss it."

And it had my original HS diploma plus several award certificates, and other mementos.  Not much else.  "Junk" she called it.

Another year she greeted me with, "I have been sorting my closet and I have a few things for you."
Well, she and I are not the same style, but I will wait and see...

And what she presented me was a fits a child inside sized box of tangled wire hangers.   Nothing but wire hangers.

I left the box and the hangers there. 

DH used to say, "lower your expectations."

A few years ago he changed it to," have NO expectations."

That way I will not be disappointed, and can kind of shrug off and laugh at the non-relationship

This is a long long story and I do not have to provide every jot and tittle of past details, but suffice it to say that mom has no interest in my family, and very little in my brothers' families.  I do not even know who she is "saving face" for at this point. 

Next year may be our last, since DD will be a senior. 

As for the "chili," (or as DH called it, ground beef and beans soup) yes, the hostess can serve whatever she wants, but when Aunt T. and I ran to the store, we HAD to buy milk, fruit, yogurt, carrots, etc... because mom had not prepped anything for kids.  Most of her food comes in cans.   Mobility and money are not issues, but we have learned to do a grocery store run over the years, as Aunt T. caught on to hersolf a few years ago. 
Sad maybe, but not my concern.   We had a good time with my bothers and their families. 

Joy, you may have nailed it.  We disrupt her routine, though we do not know her routine- ex) had never been to Christmas Eve service with her since childhood, was now a Big Deal that we had to go, and be dressed appropriately. 

May all of you have wonderful memories of your family at Christmastime.  Mine will be of what I choose to remember, and to be pleasantly surprised as often as possible.
Fear is temporary...Regret is forever.