Author Topic: Ignoring kids who are soliciting  (Read 6248 times)

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Adelaide

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Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« on: December 08, 2013, 04:00:15 PM »
When I'm in the mall it's pretty easy for me to brush past salespeople at kiosks without saying a word. A lot of them want to put lotion/perfume/whatever on me or they say "Ma'am may I ask you a question?" I don't consider this rude behavior on my part. However, the other day there were several children with buckets. I forget the specific charity, but they were waiting at the top and bottom of escalators to ambush people. Every time they saw someone they'd run up in groups of four or five, holding out their buckets, and yell "Ma'am would you like to donate [amount] to help cure children's [disease]????"

I ignored them a couple of times but I felt weird about brushing by kids. At one point one of them ran back to her father and he started walking after me, saying "Ma'am! Ma'am my daughter wants to ask you if you'd like to donate [amount] to help cure children's [disease]!"  I walked quickly away.

I still feel a little funny about it but I suspect that's why they're using kids-people feel fine ignoring an adult whose job it is to aggressively market a product. The adults are unfazed by it but ignoring kids can feel weird. What do you think, ehell?

Winterlight

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #1 on: December 08, 2013, 04:05:22 PM »
I think that solicitors can be ignored, whether adults or children.
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Of whom you speak,
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Julsie

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #2 on: December 08, 2013, 04:10:45 PM »
Could you not have smiled at the child and said, "No, thank you."?

MorgnsGrl

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2013, 04:13:19 PM »
My typical response is "No, sorry, but good luck!"

Luci

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2013, 04:21:33 PM »
Could you not have smiled at the child and said, "No, thank you."?
My typical response is "No, sorry, but good luck!"

Both or either of these is not rude. Don't want to hurt the child, but he needs to learn to take rejection when the poor kid is thrust into a situation like this. (I learned pretty quickly that "NO! I will not do that for my organization!")

immadz

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2013, 04:31:20 PM »
When I'm in the mall it's pretty easy for me to brush past salespeople at kiosks without saying a word. A lot of them want to put lotion/perfume/whatever on me or they say "Ma'am may I ask you a question?" I don't consider this rude behavior on my part. However, the other day there were several children with buckets. I forget the specific charity, but they were waiting at the top and bottom of escalators to ambush people. Every time they saw someone they'd run up in groups of four or five, holding out their buckets, and yell "Ma'am would you like to donate [amount] to help cure children's [disease]????"

I ignored them a couple of times but I felt weird about brushing by kids. At one point one of them ran back to her father and he started walking after me, saying "Ma'am! Ma'am my daughter wants to ask you if you'd like to donate [amount] to help cure children's [disease]!"  I walked quickly away.

I still feel a little funny about it but I suspect that's why they're using kids-people feel fine ignoring an adult whose job it is to aggressively market a product. The adults are unfazed by it but ignoring kids can feel weird. What do you think, ehell?

I think dad following you is a bit over the top even for aggressive solicitation. I think ignoring is fine. During this time of the year, between parking my car and getting to a store in the mall, I can be approached by more than 3 groups of people, some with the same charity.


Sharnita

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #6 on: December 08, 2013, 04:34:13 PM »
"I've already committed my charitable funds."

barefoot_girl

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #7 on: December 08, 2013, 04:48:27 PM »
Shaking buckets for donations is fine. Ignoring said bucket-shakers is also fine. Chasing down people who choose not to donate is NOT fine, and I would have gone to complain to the shopping centre management at that point.

kherbert05

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2013, 05:07:17 PM »
I would ignore them and call the mall and complain about them especially since they could cause an accident rushing the escalator like that. 



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Pen^2

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2013, 05:09:42 PM »
Ignoring them is fine, as is saying "No thank you" without stopping. Chasing you down but pretending it was still his daughter asking you for money isn't fine. As kherbert05 suggests, informing the mall management might be a good idea, because it mightn't be wholly safe to have kids badgering people at the top of an escalator.

If all else fails, this is the best strategy to use: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G80qimFAgQA

POF

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #10 on: December 08, 2013, 05:47:08 PM »
I stopped going to my regualr grocery store for this.  I had to run a gauntlet of beggars.  And most of it was to fund cheerleading competitions, travel for Lacrosse etc.  I pay my own kids school dues etc.

So I wrote the manager and corporate office and got as many people as I could to do the same.  They have cracked down on it.

sweetonsno

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #11 on: December 08, 2013, 06:12:58 PM »
If they're being passive (standing with a bucket and a sign, for instance), then I think it's fine to just walk past, especially if it's crowded. I think that if anyone, child or adult, addresses you directly, you should acknowledge them. There's nothing wrong with "Not today, thanks."

cb140

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #12 on: December 08, 2013, 06:16:18 PM »
Lol "soliciting" has an entirely different meaning in the UK - I wouldn't be ignoring it, I'd be getting the police involved! But in your case, I think it is "fine" to ignore, but because it was a kid, I might try to soften it by saying something like "not this time, thank you - but good luck". I would be very annoyed indeed about the father chasing me down - that is NOT ok.

Aquamarine

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #13 on: December 08, 2013, 06:44:25 PM »
"Please leave me alone" is what I use when my glare of death fails and I do not care if it's children or not.  If kids are going to do activities that adults also do then they have to be prepared to be dealt with the same way.  Hustling strangers is still off-putting to many whether you are 6 or 60.  If my distinct "leave me alone" look fails then the person is going to be told outright to leave me alone.  It's not OK to hassle strangers for a buck whatever the cause.  A table with a sign asking for donations at the mall is fine, approaching me and asking for cash is not OK with me.  Sometimes it feels like many, many people in public spaces seem to feel that I exist solely to fund their monetary project du jour.

If I am followed, asked repeatedly for money after making a point with my body language of being uninterested then you are not going to get a "no thank you", you're going to be told to leave me alone.  To me a "no thank you" is a response to a legitimate question or in a conversation I am choosing to have with someone.  I do not view public begging as asking a legitimate question; at least from my perspective it is not.

I don't know what has changed but the only public begging that was around when I was young was the SA bell ringers.  Public begging was something that happened very, very rarely and even then usually only is larger cities..  It's reached the point now, where it's just too much.  Heck I can't even buy a hamburger a lot of the time without being hassled to "make a donation".  Being hustled all the time by people who just have their hands out has caused me to severely restrict my charitable giving. 

I absolutely ignore anyone soliciting, kids or not.  I don't think it hurts for kids to come to understand that many people hate the behavior they are engaged in.
Always be polite, even to nasty people. Not because they are nice, but because you are.

POF

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #14 on: December 08, 2013, 06:52:47 PM »
I stopped going to my regualr grocery store for this.  I had to run a gauntlet of beggars.  And most of it was to fund cheerleading competitions, travel for Lacrosse etc.  I pay my own kids school dues etc.

So I wrote the manager and corporate office and got as many people as I could to do the same.  They have cracked down on it.

Didn't mean to sound as cranky as  I did.... but I would be trying to get in and get out of the market on my way to or from work or kids stuff or gym.... and I really just wanted to shop in peace.  Sometimes the kids would hit me three time.... as I stepped onto the walk in front of the store, at the table and then by the entrance.  The other grocer in town doesn't allow it.  They only allow certan clubs to sell, but they can't actively approach the shoppers.