Author Topic: Ignoring kids who are soliciting  (Read 5628 times)

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Outdoor Girl

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #15 on: December 08, 2013, 07:01:38 PM »
There was a kid standing inside the door of the grocery store this afternoon, with a bucket and a sign for 'Make A Wish'.  He would only ask people as they were leaving and wished everyone a good day whether they donated or not.

I don't donate to any of these kinds of things.  If I'm going to make a donation, I want a tax receipt!
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Ontario

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #16 on: December 08, 2013, 07:19:39 PM »
Our local grocery store has *three* doors, spaced about 20 to 30 yards apart, and it's not unusual to see someone with a bucket at each one, at the same time.  Back before my spine grew into place, I'd been known to tell them "I'll get you on the way out" when I'm going in, then exit through another door and say, "Oh, I got y'all on the way in."

I've found my best response to be "Not today," with a smile, and maybe a "good luck." If they persist, I'll walk away, and if they're really pushy, I'll leave and promptly call the store to let them know their charity people are being pushy towards customers.  Few persist after the "not today," but I think confidence in your answer means a lot.  They can sense if you feel guilty walking by, or are thinking about it, I swear!

Adelaide

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #17 on: December 08, 2013, 07:23:57 PM »
Could you not have smiled at the child and said, "No, thank you."?

The whole operation was rather poorly-run, as the kids would all run up to you at once. We're talking no fewer than four or five each time. A lot of times all I could hear was the bucket-shaking and all of them trying to talk over each other, so I didn't think it would be terribly constructive to say anything. They were all several inches shorter than me and I would have had to bend down to speak to them, as they were so close that I couldn't simply look them in the eye.

JenJay

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #18 on: December 08, 2013, 07:49:16 PM »
We were at a big indoor mall, approaching a kiosk, when a little girl ran up to us and asked if we wanted to enter a drawing for free tickets to a local sports team's next home game. This was not a fundraiser and there weren't any other kids around. I'm sure this involved giving the organization our phone number, email address, etc. so I said "No thank you" and kept walking. That's when her grown-up took a few steps toward us and said "Really? How can you say no to that cute face? Wow." I just kept walking because it wouldn't have been okay to say what popped into my mind - "Really? How can you drag your kid down here and use her cute face to do your job? Wow."  :(

NyaChan

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #19 on: December 08, 2013, 08:02:30 PM »
Could you not have smiled at the child and said, "No, thank you."?

The whole operation was rather poorly-run, as the kids would all run up to you at once. We're talking no fewer than four or five each time. A lot of times all I could hear was the bucket-shaking and all of them trying to talk over each other, so I didn't think it would be terribly constructive to say anything. They were all several inches shorter than me and I would have had to bend down to speak to them, as they were so close that I couldn't simply look them in the eye.

You don't have to stop and look them in the eye.  Just keep walking and call it out in their general direction.   That way you have acknowledged that another person has spoken to you and since you are walking, it won't delay you.

White Lotus

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #20 on: December 08, 2013, 08:29:51 PM »
"Nope."
If they persist, evil Lotus wants to tell them why. 

mmswm

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #21 on: December 08, 2013, 09:23:57 PM »
This is one of the primary reasons I don't carry cash, so I can smile sweetly and say "sorry, kiddo, I don't carry cash".  And not be lying about it.
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cass2591

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #22 on: December 08, 2013, 09:59:51 PM »
Could you not have smiled at the child and said, "No, thank you."?

The whole operation was rather poorly-run, as the kids would all run up to you at once. We're talking no fewer than four or five each time. A lot of times all I could hear was the bucket-shaking and all of them trying to talk over each other, so I didn't think it would be terribly constructive to say anything. They were all several inches shorter than me and I would have had to bend down to speak to them, as they were so close that I couldn't simply look them in the eye.

I'm not sure what you're looking for here. You said you felt weird ignoring the kids but felt you couldn't say "no thank you" because you couldn't make eye contact with them? Since they could talk they could likely hear. You don't remember the name of the charity so you can't call them and suggest that ambushing customers at escalators is unsafe, so be it. Perhaps dad was encouraging you to acknowledge the kids, which is frankly what you should have done.
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*inviteseller

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #23 on: December 08, 2013, 11:30:34 PM »
I have to respectfully disagree with you Cass.  Just because they are kids doesn't mean they are owed anything if they are rushing you trying to get you to give them money.  We are advised it is not rude to ignore the man at the bus stop trying to bum cigarettes, or the lady on the corner with a sob story about her broken down car and sick mom,  why do we have to afford courtesy to any beggers just because they happen to be kids?  Especially because adults use kids in the hopes that people will feel bad turning them down.  I never giver to anyone on the streets with a can and a charity name on it.  I don't know that the money is going to that charity and if I want to donate to them, I will send in my donation to the charity itself.  I should not have to feel guilty for not acknowledging an unwanted interaction.

I also have BIG issues with using kids to fund raise in this way.  We tell them not to approach strangers but yet they are chasing people down or stopping them as they go into stores (nothing like 5 strapping football players blocking your way into the store so they can get me to fund their team)..which brings me to my other pet peeve- Maybe your school district and parents don't care but I find it so distasteful to have these kids get strangers to fund them for their extracurricular activities and 99% of the time, they are not selling anything, just wanting my money so they can play football/go to a cheerleading tournament/go on a band trip.  Sorry parents..it is your job to fund these things, not mine.  I have my own kids activities to pay for so I am not paying for yours, especially when I heard your son calling people a word that rhymes with witches because we walked past without donating while you sat on your folding chair smiling at him.

veronaz

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #24 on: December 08, 2013, 11:39:33 PM »
I've been approached asking if I want to donate or buy candy for "the church".  Too random, and unfortunately they've learned "church" is used as a magic word or signal to open your wallet and give.  No, thanks.

(Once I asked "Which church?"  Kids looked at each other, giggled, and ran.) ::)

kherbert05

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #25 on: December 08, 2013, 11:59:34 PM »
I have to respectfully disagree with you Cass.  Just because they are kids doesn't mean they are owed anything if they are rushing you trying to get you to give them money.  We are advised it is not rude to ignore the man at the bus stop trying to bum cigarettes, or the lady on the corner with a sob story about her broken down car and sick mom,  why do we have to afford courtesy to any beggers just because they happen to be kids?  Especially because adults use kids in the hopes that people will feel bad turning them down.  I never giver to anyone on the streets with a can and a charity name on it.  I don't know that the money is going to that charity and if I want to donate to them, I will send in my donation to the charity itself.  I should not have to feel guilty for not acknowledging an unwanted interaction.

I also have BIG issues with using kids to fund raise in this way.  We tell them not to approach strangers but yet they are chasing people down or stopping them as they go into stores (nothing like 5 strapping football players blocking your way into the store so they can get me to fund their team)..which brings me to my other pet peeve- Maybe your school district and parents don't care but I find it so distasteful to have these kids get strangers to fund them for their extracurricular activities and 99% of the time, they are not selling anything, just wanting my money so they can play football/go to a cheerleading tournament/go on a band trip.  Sorry parents..it is your job to fund these things, not mine.  I have my own kids activities to pay for so I am not paying for yours, especially when I heard your son calling people a word that rhymes with witches because we walked past without donating while you sat on your folding chair smiling at him.
I posted about this before. I lost it one time when every store I went to I ran into students demanding I pay their fees. Sometimes I couldn't even get into the store because the students wouldn't let me pass. I called the managers and complained. Then I came home and wrote a scathing e-mail to the the superintendent explaining I have was going to fight their bond issue tooth and nail, that they spent way to much on sports (seriously they have a sporting complex that rivals that of small cities), and last time I checked panhandling wasn't on the TEKS.

I got a response - that the students actions were not sanctioned and they were being told to stop or be suspended from their extra curricular. I think he was lying.  It wasn't one or two kids. It was dozens of kids at least 5 or 6 kids at every store I went to that weekend with their parents in tow. If that made them feel better ok - as long as it stopped.
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Library Dragon

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #26 on: December 09, 2013, 12:10:07 AM »
I've been approached asking if I want to donate or buy candy for "the church".  Too random, and unfortunately they've learned "church" is used as a magic word or signal to open your wallet and give.  No, thanks.

(Once I asked "Which church?"  Kids looked at each other, giggled, and ran.) ::)

Or, "to support the troops." Troops of what, when, where, through which organization?

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sammycat

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #27 on: December 09, 2013, 12:33:41 AM »
I have to respectfully disagree with you Cass.  Just because they are kids doesn't mean they are owed anything if they are rushing you trying to get you to give them money.  We are advised it is not rude to ignore the man at the bus stop trying to bum cigarettes, or the lady on the corner with a sob story about her broken down car and sick mom,  why do we have to afford courtesy to any beggers just because they happen to be kids?  Especially because adults use kids in the hopes that people will feel bad turning them down.  I never giver to anyone on the streets with a can and a charity name on it.  I don't know that the money is going to that charity and if I want to donate to them, I will send in my donation to the charity itself.  I should not have to feel guilty for not acknowledging an unwanted interaction.

I also have BIG issues with using kids to fund raise in this way.  We tell them not to approach strangers but yet they are chasing people down or stopping them as they go into stores (nothing like 5 strapping football players blocking your way into the store so they can get me to fund their team)..which brings me to my other pet peeve- Maybe your school district and parents don't care but I find it so distasteful to have these kids get strangers to fund them for their extracurricular activities and 99% of the time, they are not selling anything, just wanting my money so they can play football/go to a cheerleading tournament/go on a band trip.  Sorry parents..it is your job to fund these things, not mine.  I have my own kids activities to pay for so I am not paying for yours, especially when I heard your son calling people a word that rhymes with witches because we walked past without donating while you sat on your folding chair smiling at him.

I totally agree!

I've been approached asking if I want to donate or buy candy for "the church".  Too random, and unfortunately they've learned "church" is used as a magic word or signal to open your wallet and give. No, thanks.

(Once I asked "Which church?"  Kids looked at each other, giggled, and ran.) ::)

That, and sports, are the magic words for me not to donate.

Lynnv

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #28 on: December 09, 2013, 12:46:42 AM »
I don't think I owe any stranger of any age who approaches me for money a response.   I don't see any reason why I have to respond to their solicitation, any more than I have to respond to the guy selling aluminum siding door-to-door or calling to sell me printer toner.
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SoCalVal

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Re: Ignoring kids who are soliciting
« Reply #29 on: December 09, 2013, 01:12:08 AM »
When I'm in the mall it's pretty easy for me to brush past salespeople at kiosks without saying a word. A lot of them want to put lotion/perfume/whatever on me or they say "Ma'am may I ask you a question?" I don't consider this rude behavior on my part. However, the other day there were several children with buckets. I forget the specific charity, but they were waiting at the top and bottom of escalators to ambush people. Every time they saw someone they'd run up in groups of four or five, holding out their buckets, and yell "Ma'am would you like to donate [amount] to help cure children's [disease]????"

I encountered this 2-3 times in the mall while doing shops (so I'm usually on-the-go and don't have time or patience to deal with anyone outside of my shop purpose anyway).  I don't know why they think I'm going to stop.  I don't care about your face cleansers or your hair stuff or whatever other beauty product you're selling.  I'm totally not your target audience so leave me alone (maybe that's what I should say but it feels kinda rude so I don't say that; I just keep walking in the direction I was headed in the first place).

Anyway, I agree that I feel bad about turning down kids (because, a lot of times, they are not yet used to rejection -- I know I never was).  This is when they are selling things, though.  I haven't encountered any soliciting for donations (outside of the panhandling ones, I mean).  I tithe at church.  I participate in charities of my choice already.  I do committee work at work in order to improve my work community and the community at large.  I wish there were some succinct way to say, "Sorry, I already give at work and on my own"(...maybe that's what I should say, duh!) and say it with a smile and unbroken stride.