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Author Topic: Is the bag part of the gift?  (Read 12278 times)

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Amara

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #15 on: December 09, 2013, 03:24:36 PM »
Well, that never occurred to me but I think in my family it wouldn't be a problem. Plus, it's to make the package look more festive but not intended to be part of the gift.

GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #16 on: December 09, 2013, 03:26:30 PM »
This is timely! I am wrapping my gifts and with the regular ones (not the stocking stuffers) I am adding bows and ornaments and other goodies to the beautiful ribbons. So I do plan to re-use them and will ask for them back. I wouldn't view this as rude at all as long as you don't grab the bag out of their hands while saying "gimme!"

But I really think the ornament should be part of the gift! What if they want to take it home and hang it on their tree, or something? I'd be really offended if you wrapped up a present for me, and then told me you want the ornament back.
   If I'm going to toss the bow and ornament in the trash, yes, by all means, say, "oh, I'm going to salvage that!" Or say, "If you aren't going to take the ornament home, toss it over here!' -once it becomes sort of clear that they aren't going to do something with it.

The first year I got my BFF's husband a Christmas gift, I put a little ornament on the front of the package (I do this often), he commented "Oh, what a nice ornament, I like that" opened his gift, thanked me for it, then tried to give me back the ornament. I had to explain that no, that was part of his gift! Which made him so adorably excited because he really loved the ornament but didn't realize it wasn't just part of the packaging.

POF

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #17 on: December 09, 2013, 03:32:02 PM »
Oh--I did once deliberately give bags as part of the gift--I bought four matching nylon grocery totes and put the "no-wrapping-paper bridal-shower" bakeware in them.

LOVE IT - I am so sure that is what they meant by no wrapping paper.. You are very clever !

TootsNYC

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #18 on: December 09, 2013, 03:37:51 PM »
Well, that never occurred to me but I think in my family it wouldn't be a problem. Plus, it's to make the package look more festive but not intended to be part of the gift.

I have to say, I don't understand this.

If it's not intended to be part of the gift, why put it on there? Sure, it makes it look nicer--but it's part of the gift! The whole package is theirs; you gave it to them. It's a gift.

If you don't want to give it to them, you shouldn't put it on the gift.

It's not the same thing, quite, as putting non-edible ornaments on a wedding cake or a birthday cake. Well, maybe you're thinking that it is.

But it's not to me. It would ruin the mood for me, for you to treat -my- present (as opposed to a -shared- cake) as a piece of decor, or as something that is only "on loan for a moment while you admire how pretty it is." I would feel that the experience of "ooh, a wonderful gift, and it's for me--someone fussed over me!" was only being loaned to me; which is disappointing, because I consider that emotion to be part of the gift.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #19 on: December 09, 2013, 03:45:48 PM »
Well, that never occurred to me but I think in my family it wouldn't be a problem. Plus, it's to make the package look more festive but not intended to be part of the gift.

I have to say, I don't understand this.

If it's not intended to be part of the gift, why put it on there? Sure, it makes it look nicer--but it's part of the gift! The whole package is theirs; you gave it to them. It's a gift.

If you don't want to give it to them, you shouldn't put it on the gift.

It's not the same thing, quite, as putting non-edible ornaments on a wedding cake or a birthday cake. Well, maybe you're thinking that it is.

But it's not to me. It would ruin the mood for me, for you to treat -my- present (as opposed to a -shared- cake) as a piece of decor, or as something that is only "on loan for a moment while you admire how pretty it is." I would feel that the experience of "ooh, a wonderful gift, and it's for me--someone fussed over me!" was only being loaned to me; which is disappointing, because I consider that emotion to be part of the gift.

I have to admit I'd feel the same way. If it's a pretty ornament, I'd expect it to be mine and would be dissapointed I had to give part of my gift back.

esposita

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #20 on: December 09, 2013, 03:52:32 PM »
Well, that never occurred to me but I think in my family it wouldn't be a problem. Plus, it's to make the package look more festive but not intended to be part of the gift.

I have to say, I don't understand this.

If it's not intended to be part of the gift, why put it on there? Sure, it makes it look nicer--but it's part of the gift! The whole package is theirs; you gave it to them. It's a gift.

If you don't want to give it to them, you shouldn't put it on the gift.

It's not the same thing, quite, as putting non-edible ornaments on a wedding cake or a birthday cake. Well, maybe you're thinking that it is.

But it's not to me. It would ruin the mood for me, for you to treat -my- present (as opposed to a -shared- cake) as a piece of decor, or as something that is only "on loan for a moment while you admire how pretty it is." I would feel that the experience of "ooh, a wonderful gift, and it's for me--someone fussed over me!" was only being loaned to me; which is disappointing, because I consider that emotion to be part of the gift.

I have to admit I'd feel the same way. If it's a pretty ornament, I'd expect it to be mine and would be dissapointed I had to give part of my gift back.

Me too. Most of the time I give a bridal shower gift in a pretty, reusable shopping tote. The bag is part of the gift, and like toots said, I'd feel like the wrapping were loaned.

Amara

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #21 on: December 09, 2013, 03:55:13 PM »
Wow, the reactions are ... strong. I think I will just leave it at the fact that no one in my family would expect, and may not be interested in, the ornament (which is just a simple ball one).

Erich L-ster

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #22 on: December 09, 2013, 04:08:22 PM »

I have to admit I'd feel the same way. If it's a pretty ornament, I'd expect it to be mine and would be dissapointed I had to give part of my gift back.
Me three....or four or five....or POD.

Chelsealady

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #23 on: December 09, 2013, 04:17:59 PM »
Thanks for the replies.  I think I will just give them the bags and not worry about getting them back.  It would be nice to get them back and reuse them but not nice enough to hurt anybody's feelings on the matter.

This is not my holiday hill to die on.  And there are much harder emotional landmines to negotiate.  But that is another thread.  ;D

TootsNYC

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #24 on: December 09, 2013, 04:43:39 PM »
Wow, the reactions are ... strong. I think I will just leave it at the fact that no one in my family would expect, and may not be interested in, the ornament (which is just a simple ball one).

I can certainly believe that is true.
As a recipient, even *I* might not want the ornament. But I wouldn't love the "here's your present; give me part of it back" message.


But I think I'd caution someone in your position to just wait. And when they seem to be discarding the wrapping (and the bow, and the decoration), then simply "tidy up" and salvage the ornament as you do so.
   Or, wait, and when all the excitement part is over, then say, "were you going to take the ornament home?" and if they dither, then say, "Oh, I could put it in my wrapping-paper stash if you don't want it."

It's totally OK to take it back, once it's clear they don't want it. But I would want to be sure there's space between the gifting and the salvaging.

Even though it's just a box, that's what I do w/ those. It means I'm not always willing to let some boxes out of the house (like those gift bags). But it's a risk I accept--that I might not get the box back. (and it's the box, which doesn't have an emotional function)

And Chelsealady; keep an eye out--if they sort of toss the bag aside, you can always say, "did you have a use for this?" and then see if it would fit to say, "Well, maybe I'll use it again next year."

I also think that using the bag as a recurring theme isn't bad--it has a "somebody fussed over me" feeling.

For the ornament and the bag, you could write on them:  "To Bill, from Susie"--then it would be clear that you should get it back and use it again next year.

Arila

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #25 on: December 09, 2013, 05:00:05 PM »
What about -- this one time, getting two sets of cool santa bags. This year, don't ask for them back. Next year -- "You got to keep the fancy bag last year, so you already have one -- I'm keeping these for reuse this time!"

Then, they get to keep the cool bags, AND you get to reuse them.

I did read that they are a bit more expensive, but it didn't seem like they were so outrageous that this wouldn't work.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #26 on: December 09, 2013, 05:17:04 PM »
How about making the bag(s) part of the unveiling of the gifts.  So you have the bag(s) full of wrapped gifts and you take each person's gift (or gift bundle) out of the bag and pass them to that person.  So each person gets their gifts, but you get to take the bag(s) home as well.

My mother does something a bit similar.  She wraps each persons gifts in different paper then stacks and ties them together.  When it's time to open gifts she points each person to their individualized bundle of presents.  She doesn't put names on the bundle, she writes each person's name on a scrap of wrapping paper and carries it around in her wallet :D

Julsie

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #27 on: December 09, 2013, 05:48:42 PM »
She doesn't put names on the bundle, she writes each person's name on a scrap of wrapping paper and carries it around in her wallet :D

~gasps~  PastryGoddess, thank you!  That is brilliant!

I have eight children and I don't put their names on their Christmas presents because I don't want them to "investigate" them ahead of time.

Each year I've been using a different secret code, known only to myself.  For instance, all of Susie's presents will be marked by a "20" because that is the day of the month of her birthday.  Then I went to Billy being the #2 because "B" is the second letter of the alphabet.  Then I took their birth year and divided it by two, etc...

I'm out of codes and they're getting too smart for me!  But I like the idea of different wrapping paper for each child and keeping their names on a scrap of their paper.  Thank you, thank you!

PastryGoddess

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #28 on: December 09, 2013, 06:08:19 PM »
I'll say thank you because it was MY idea all those years ago.  My mother thought it was a bad idea at first and complained for 5 freaking years about how difficult and annoying it was

I'm thinking of printing this out and showing it to my mother to gloat ;)

POF

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #29 on: December 09, 2013, 06:24:46 PM »
My mother one year just didn't write the names on it because she thought she would remember.  ( We are all adults, no kids, living in our own households ).  it was awesone - you would be opening something - she would grab it and give it to someone else ...... we still laugh ourselves sick over it.

Back on topic. yes the bag is part of of the gif.t