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Author Topic: Is the bag part of the gift?  (Read 12334 times)

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VorFemme

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #30 on: December 09, 2013, 08:32:16 PM »
Several years ago now, I made Christmas stocking for a whole family of relatives and filled them with small things - doll dresses for the girl (now a mother herself - so it's been "a while"), candy canes, whistles, a couple of Match Box cars for the boy, and things like that.  The stockings were part of the gift.

Reminds me - I need to FIND the stocking makings for Wonderful Son-In-Law & WonderfulDGS (found kits to coordinate with Ambrosia Hino's original felt applique stocking) and make them.  Then get around to making ones for VorSon, VorGuy, and myself that aren't just red velour with white faux fur trim from the dollar store....

I have an embroidery machine now - I need to use it!

It is going to sound odd if you ask for the bag back...to most people.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

TootsNYC

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #31 on: December 09, 2013, 08:39:52 PM »
She doesn't put names on the bundle, she writes each person's name on a scrap of wrapping paper and carries it around in her wallet :D

~gasps~  PastryGoddess, thank you!  That is brilliant!

I have eight children and I don't put their names on their Christmas presents because I don't want them to "investigate" them ahead of time.

Each year I've been using a different secret code, known only to myself.  For instance, all of Susie's presents will be marked by a "20" because that is the day of the month of her birthday.  Then I went to Billy being the #2 because "B" is the second letter of the alphabet.  Then I took their birth year and divided it by two, etc...

I'm out of codes and they're getting too smart for me!  But I like the idea of different wrapping paper for each child and keeping their names on a scrap of their paper.  Thank you, thank you!

I have also done themes--not w/ kids, but with "places presents are going": those to be taken to the ILs' were snowmen; ones for home were penguins (yay!); ones to be mailed were holly.

But if you did want to keep the kids from guessing next year, you'd not want to keep the themes the same. But you could do a similar thing just to increase your options for wrapping paper.

Dr. F.

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #32 on: December 09, 2013, 09:11:51 PM »
On a related note, I'm going to some extent to make origami boxes for gifts for various people (http://www.origami-instructions.com/modular-square-box-p2.html) that will contain various cookies. I don't want the boxes back, but I *would* like to indicate that said boxes could be reused by the recipients. Is there a way to indicate that the nice, hand-made boxes are part of the gift?
(Note: I will pack the cookies in wax paper or plastic bags, such that they won't stain the boxes.)

NyaChan

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #33 on: December 09, 2013, 09:15:21 PM »
If you're going to hold the Santa bag and distribute the gifts, or pass them out; if there are gifts for more than one person inside the bag, I think you could ask for it back or it would be understood that it belongs to you.

But if you're going to give someone a bag, and then ask for it back I see that as very awkward and confusing, though perhaps not rude.

I know that if someone gave me something like that, with only my gift inside, I'd be all "WooHoo! A bag!!" (I have a thing for totes...lol.) And my initial reaction would make it very awkward for whoever wanted the bag back. It would be confusing.

I agree with this. I think it would be very awkward to be handed a gift bag, and then be told to promptly hand the bag back. I would wonder why you bothered to put the wrapped present in the bag in the first place.

I agree.  I would feel weird about it. 

Amara

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #34 on: December 09, 2013, 09:37:44 PM »
For the record, I have never and would never hand someone a gift and immediately ask for the box back. I do ask after all the gifts are unwrapped and enjoyed. It's at that point that I ask for the good boxes, bows, ribbons, tissue paper (if not torn) and any decorations to be separated from the to-be-thrown-away paper so I can re-use them. Stockings are part of the gift if someone wants them, but no one in my family wants to store them for eleven months.

I am simply a high end re-user.
« Last Edit: December 09, 2013, 09:39:20 PM by Amara »

katycoo

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #35 on: December 09, 2013, 10:28:38 PM »
No, I think its strange.  It is part of the gift.  I collect ones I get and reuse them myself.

I might, if the bag/box was left with discarded paper for throwing ask the recipient if they wanted to keep the bag.  If they say no, then its yours.

Deetee

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #36 on: December 09, 2013, 10:53:43 PM »
I have a friend who gives gifts and immediately claims the bags/box back. I never thought twice about it. She is a frugal environmentalist and it just made sense that she would keep and resuse the bags.

Though, now that I think of it, I might switch to reusable bags as wrapping this year. Our grocery stores no longer supply plastic bags so they are useful for everyone. I used to use my daughters artwork on a large roll of  paper,but she stopped doing that sort of drawing so I need something else,

daen

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #37 on: December 10, 2013, 08:09:40 AM »
I have a friend who gives gifts and immediately claims the bags/box back. I never thought twice about it. She is a frugal environmentalist and it just made sense that she would keep and resuse the bags.

Though, now that I think of it, I might switch to reusable bags as wrapping this year. Our grocery stores no longer supply plastic bags so they are useful for everyone. I used to use my daughters artwork on a large roll of  paper,but she stopped doing that sort of drawing so I need something else,

My sibs will, on various occasions, use advertising flyers that the recipients will appreciate, or use the comics pages.  Fun, but requires a bit of cleaning up afterwards, due to the ink rubbing off on hands and... well, everything.

In my family, the gift bags usually stay with the recipient, but also usually show up at the next gift-giving occasion, so they circulate a lot.

MariaE

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #38 on: December 10, 2013, 08:12:01 AM »
Funnily enough we had a similar thread a couple of years back - but from the opposite perspective! http://www.etiquettehell.com/smf/index.php?topic=87975.0 :)
 
Dane by birth, Kiwi by choice

Amara

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #39 on: December 10, 2013, 09:13:22 AM »
This made me burst out laughing:

Quote
But then I'd always sign birthday cards to my mother with just my name. At the end of the evening she hands it back to me so I can reuse it for my friends. Wow, I am really cheap with this stuff.

That's something I never thought of. And never would.

I don't like and won't use gift bags. As someone on the old thread commented, it seems a cheap way to "wrap" a gift. I don't mind if others do--the gift is the thought, after all--but I never will. I love doing up pretty boxes with decorations. And I intend to keep asking for them back. Reuse, recycle: that's me.

sparksals

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #40 on: December 10, 2013, 09:48:17 AM »
I would think it very strange if a gift giver wanted the bag back.  I consider it part of the gift.  I save them to reuse. 


Outdoor Girl

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #41 on: December 10, 2013, 10:00:21 AM »
The bag is part of the gift if it is the sole wrapping for that gift.  But the OP uses the bags to gather multiple wrapped gifts for each person together.  In this case, I don't see it as being part of the gift the same way.  But, perhaps to avoid confusion, she could use her bag, take it over to the person for whom it is intended and hand them the individual gifts out of the bag, then keeping the bag to herself to reuse next year.

Many of my friends will offer the bag back, even if it was the wrapping for the gift.  Sometimes I take it; sometimes, I don't.

At Christmas, even though there are only 5 of us there, it is 3 different households.  We tend to pile all the bags, boxes and bows up and divvy them up between the three households.  And throw out any that are looking a little worse for wear.

I use gift bags year round for birthdays and other gifts but Christmas is the one time that I do use wrapping paper, rather than bags, unless it is a particularly difficult gift to wrap.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
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Lynn2000

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #42 on: December 10, 2013, 10:01:22 AM »
We frequently reuse bows in my extended family; it's not uncommon to hear "save the bow!" called out at a mass family present opening, usually aimed at kids who haven't quite learned this rule yet. You know, I don't know where the bows actually go, though--certainly no one spends time fussing over whether the bow belongs to the giver or recipient, or who gave what bow, or anything like that. Whoever is most invested in reusing bows seems to get hold of the "bow bag" in the end, and sometimes there are multiple bow bags.

Personally, whatever I hand over to the other person--whether the wrapping paper, tissue paper, ribbon, bow, decoration, bag, box, etc.--I consider to be theirs, as part of the gift. If they indicate they aren't going to keep it, I can then ask for it back; but I personally believe that by default it's now theirs. Among my immediate family (parents and me) we don't give out gifts in containers that we really want to keep (like the little square box covered in metallic teal paper with a window in the lid covering a silver snowflake on a spring...), because to us it seems "off" to then ask for it back. Though certainly it's understood among the three of us that if I get a present in the teal box, the box goes back to Mom to be reused next year. So I do think in certain situations you can have an understanding/make a tradition of it.

Another exception, IMO, is something like a cloth gift bag with the kid's name on it, or a stocking with their name. In other words, something where the giver can say, "Okay, if you give me that back, I will fill it with gifts for YOU next year." It's still part of the gift, but kind of a long-term rather than short-term part; and the giver is doing an additional favor for the recipient by storing their bag/stocking for them until its next use. I think it really has to have the recipient's name on it, though, or in some other way be personalized to them; to me the point is that the giver won't use it for anyone but Susie.

I don't think it's a huge deal, personally. But it can feel a bit discordant if there's one person who's always asking for things back, whereas everyone else is more relaxed. And I do think it can venture into rude/tacky territory if the person who wants things back becomes preoccupied with it, to the point of seeming stingy--kind of like, "Why did you even bother to give us gifts and visit us, if you're just going to spend your time hunting through the trash for discarded bows?" Not saying anyone here would do that, just imagining the extreme end.
~Lynn2000

jaxsue

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #43 on: December 10, 2013, 10:46:54 AM »
I would consider the bag part of the gift.

Yep. And I, for one, would really like the bag. I'd be disappointed and a bit  :o if asked to give it back.

TootsNYC

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Re: Is the bag part of the gift?
« Reply #44 on: December 10, 2013, 10:55:25 AM »
Is there a way to indicate that the nice, hand-made boxes are part of the gift?


Not really, no. If they're the sort of person who would like to reuse them, they will. If it's a part of the present that they don't value, hey won't.

I suppose you could say, enthusiastically, "The boxes are really very sturdy! You can reuse them if you want." Sort of the way you'd say something positive about any gift you've given: "I bought you those slippers because they're really warm! And look, they tie on, so they don't slip around--I like feeling that I have solid footing when I wear mine."