I'm also from a family of 4 siblings with a combined total of 5 offspring and we also decided to forgo buying presents for each other. But we have one childless sibling so we've always had the kids give a gift in return to them. Usually nothing too large or expensive and often a combined gift. But it seemed wrong for them to spend the time to buy for all of their 5 neices and newphews but receive noting in return.
I see what you did there--you are showing your true colors, Hmmmmm.
Nice colors--caring colors. For you, the inequity is not as much the money as it is the effort, energy, caring.
Luci45, do remember that we don't actually know what Ted's attitude is.
He has said, "we're not coming for the gift opening; we'll come later." He said, "we're not really into that." I'm not absolutely certain whether he actually said, "we aren't giving presents"--I wouldn't put it past this particular woman to have assumed that, even if Ted is thinking "we'll skip the present-opening and bring our gifts when we come for the afterward thing." There simply isn't anything I would trust to indicate whether presents will arrive or not.
The letter writer is also the one who assumed "because they don't get presents, they aren't going to give them." In fact, she used the words, "in other words," meaning she is interpreting a meaning there. Ted didn't say that!
I don't think I'd ever decide to never give a present--but I might skip the whole frenzy with all the kids. And I might really scale down what I give them. (Honestly, in that situation, I think I'd just start buying everybody a box of wacky breakfast cereal or a huge box of Goldfish crackers. And be That Aunt. Most kids might think that's kinda fun.)