Guy's place: Sports bar, some biker bars, Dave and Busters, go kart track, that kind of thing. Not guys only, but more likely to appeal to a guy than a woman for a party.
Woman's place: Nail salon, spa, afternoon tea restaurant. Not women only, but few guys would choose them for a get together.
Yes, those are stereotypes, but leaving aside adult entertainment, those would be my first thoughts on the matter.
I think the problem was that your message was a politely stated, she drinks too much, gets inappropriate, and dresses badly. All of which may be true, but there is really no way to tell someone that and have it go over well.
A better plan in the future would be to avoid anything that could be seen as a personal criticism. Objections along the lines of, it is really a spouses and SO's only event, I'm not planning on staying very long, it wouldn't be appropriate to being someone who wasn't a spouse are better since it cannot be taken as a reflection on her personally.
As an aside, if you want to make it up to them/her, why not invite them for an evening out at a different time and make some excuse along the lines of, I was so surprised when you asked about the company party I didn't know what to say, but we haven't seen each other for a while, let's go to XYZ venue together on XX date.