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Author Topic: Teaching moment?  (Read 20738 times)

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POF

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #30 on: December 11, 2013, 12:15:49 PM »
It is not my responsibility to wait while a parent takes too long to teach their child something they can easily teach them elsewhere.

This, for me, is the crux of the issue. Yes, Junior has to learn to walk. But the proper place for practice is not a busy street, KWIM? If an elderly/disabled person is holding me up by walking slowly, I'll suck it up. They have no other options. But a parent can easily put Junior in a buggy and let him practice walking somewhere else.

I see this as exactly the same.
me too.  This can be done at home and practiced a bit before going to a store.


citadelle

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #31 on: December 11, 2013, 12:31:45 PM »
It is not my responsibility to wait while a parent takes too long to teach their child something they can easily teach them elsewhere.

This, for me, is the crux of the issue. Yes, Junior has to learn to walk. But the proper place for practice is not a busy street, KWIM? If an elderly/disabled person is holding me up by walking slowly, I'll suck it up. They have no other options. But a parent can easily put Junior in a buggy and let him practice walking somewhere else.

I see this as exactly the same.
me too.  This can be done at home and practiced a bit before going to a store.

But, if the parent does not do as you suggest and instead, allows the child to do the transaction, do you say something? And if the parent then refuses your request to hurry up or to let you move ahead, how do you handle that? 


Eeep!

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #32 on: December 11, 2013, 12:38:59 PM »
I feel, as a parent, that you have to balance your teaching moments with how they inconvenience other people.  If it adds 30 seconds to someone's time for your child to count out the change themselves, I'm OK with that. But taking enough time that you have time to not only comment that someone is waiting behind you but also continue the activity? Way too long, in my opion.  My son (4) has a tendancy to be very shy.  So sometimes I encourage him to be the one to place his order at a restuarant.  If it is at sit-down restaurant with a wait person, I will give him considerably more time. But if we are at a fast food place and he is himming and hawing I stop it pretty quickly because I don't think his lesson is worth making the people behind us inconvenienced and/or annoyed.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss

LadyL

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #33 on: December 11, 2013, 12:52:51 PM »
I think if you are in a hurry and are delayed by a slow customer for whatever reason, it's not rude to ask the cashier if there is another register open or if you can pay somewhere else.  If they said "sorry no" the polite thing to do is wait patiently but I think this is a case where it's not rude to ask - as a customer you deserve to be accommodated efficiently. A lot of  times you can pay at the customer service desk or the photo lab or the pharmacy (or some other location besides the check out lines - I've paid for groceries in the jewelry department of Target before when the lines were insane).

whatsanenigma

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #34 on: December 11, 2013, 01:10:46 PM »
I'm not going to move out of the way to count my change.  I'm going to complete my transaction including making sure I have correct change and correcting any errors before I leave.  For the mother, agreed, this is another step in a several-step process best left for another time, especially with someone waiting.

Well, I'm talking even just a little bit, so the next customer can start unloading their cart or whatever.

And I suppose it depends on the type of store, how necessary it is to make sure everything is all right, right there.  Some places would have better customer service desks than others, for example. 

But keep in mind of course, I am viewing this through the perspective of someone whose brain just does not like those darn numbers.  It would see a handful of coins and go "Oh no, math" and freeze up.  So for me personally, depending on how much change was involved, it probably would take an inordinate amount of time to count it, to the delay of the people behind me, and I personally would get fully out of the way and if I had a problem, deal with it at a customer service desk. 

(This is why I usually actually don't count the change-a bad idea, I know-or I use a debit card so the math involved is something I can do later, alone, with a calculator, taking as much time as I need.)

But if your brain does not do that, it does seem it would be better to just count it right there in the moment while your transaction is still going on.


Allyson

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #35 on: December 11, 2013, 01:59:10 PM »
Had the mother said "oh, there's someone waiting" and then stopped the lesson and said something like "we don't hold people up, so we'll finish this lesson at home!" that would've been a good social lesson for the kid to learn, too, wouldn't it?

I agree there was nothing else the OP could've done but wait, but I don't think the mother handled that especially well. When there's an option to hold people up or not, it just seems polite to not do it.

TootsNYC

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #36 on: December 11, 2013, 02:55:22 PM »
Hmm.  Well, having kids around that age, I can say that I can sympathize with the mother wanting to take her child to the store at a non-busy time to practice.  However, she's explaining what each of the coins are?  If the child is at that point in the learning process, it definitely doesn't need to be done at a store!  You can certainly teach your child the coins and how to recognize them, how much they're worth, and counting by 25s, 10s, and 5s at home.  At the store, sure, I can certainly see coaching your child so they can practice what they know.  But it seems like a waste of people's time.  It's like... going in to your 6 hours of required driving time to earn your driver's license, without ever having been in a car, and not knowing what an ignition, wheel, or headlights are.

As for what you could have done, though... I'm not really sure there was anything.  Would it *maybe* be okay to say, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I know you're trying to help your child learn about money, but I'm in a huge rush on my lunch break.  Do you think I could get checked out and then you could finish the lesson?"  Something like that?

I'm w/ MommyPenguin, on pretty much all counts (have been the mom of little kids; deliberately created situations in which they would handle the transaction, as a learning experience; think you ought to teach them the coins -at home-; wondering if you could have said, "I'm so sorry, but if this will take a while, would you let me go ahead?")

And, I've had my children handle the transaction, and do it more slowly than *I* would, but not for five minutes!


sammycat

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #37 on: December 11, 2013, 04:39:11 PM »
I'm with all the other posters who say the mother was incredibly rude by using her 'teaching moment' as an excuse to hold up other people.

It's a pity she didn't use that moment to teach her daughter that it's rude to stuff around and hold people up for non-essential activities.

When it became obvious that this was going to drag out, I'd have asked the cashier if there was another place to check out, in the hopes that it would either (A) give the mother a clue to move out of the way, or (B) give the cashier the impetus to start ringing me up.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2013, 07:37:19 PM by sammycat »

sparksals

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #38 on: December 11, 2013, 05:21:33 PM »
It is not my responsibility to wait while a parent takes too long to teach their child something they can easily teach them elsewhere.

This, for me, is the crux of the issue. Yes, Junior has to learn to walk. But the proper place for practice is not a busy street, KWIM? If an elderly/disabled person is holding me up by walking slowly, I'll suck it up. They have no other options. But a parent can easily put Junior in a buggy and let him practice walking somewhere else.

I see this as exactly the same.
me too.  This can be done at home and practiced a bit before going to a store.

But, if the parent does not do as you suggest and instead, allows the child to do the transaction, do you say something? And if the parent then refuses your request to hurry up or to let you move ahead, how do you handle that?


I was a cashier at a grocery store when I went to university.   This happened a few times, as did the mother happily allowing the 5 YO to SCAN the groceries.  As I scanned, he would slide something after the fact while I was packing and didn't always 'catch' the upc to charge the item.  As soon as the child started scanning, I said in a firm, but polite voice... 'no'.  The mother obviously took offense b/c she patted the child on his head and said, that's ok Jr., and complained.  My manager asked me what happened and I told him and he backed me up and said I did the right thing.


If I was on Express, it was even MORE important to get people through quickly.  I had a few moms trying to teach their child math and if it wasn't busy, then I had no problem waiting, but if ONE customer was waiting, I politely told them that other customers were waiting. 




bah12

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #39 on: December 11, 2013, 06:35:59 PM »
While I can see being annoyed at having to wait for something...I don't see standing behind someone for five minutes as such a huge inconvenience.  Being that most transactions take at least three to four minutes anyway, we aren't talking about a whole lot of extra time. 

I think how you handle it, is you wait for your turn.

And I do think that people should be cognizant of others in line and not purposely take much longer than necessary to complete a transaction.  Taking a kid to a store at a non-busy time to teach them how to make a tranaction isn't a big deal.  The mother probably told her child that she could count the money and to renig on that just because someone got in line behind them is unreasonable...for 10 extra minutes, maybe...but not for two.  And this is nowhere near as much time as it takes for the person who waits until every item has been scanned to open up their purse and search for their checkbook.  Unfortunately, not everyone is super efficient and being that we have to share this world with them, we're going to be inconvenienced at times. 

sparksals

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #40 on: December 11, 2013, 06:59:56 PM »
While I can see being annoyed at having to wait for something...I don't see standing behind someone for five minutes as such a huge inconvenience.  Being that most transactions take at least three to four minutes anyway, we aren't talking about a whole lot of extra time. 

I think how you handle it, is you wait for your turn.

And I do think that people should be cognizant of others in line and not purposely take much longer than necessary to complete a transaction.  Taking a kid to a store at a non-busy time to teach them how to make a tranaction isn't a big deal.  The mother probably told her child that she could count the money and to renig on that just because someone got in line behind them is unreasonable...for 10 extra minutes, maybe...but not for two.  And this is nowhere near as much time as it takes for the person who waits until every item has been scanned to open up their purse and search for their checkbook.  Unfortunately, not everyone is super efficient and being that we have to share this world with them, we're going to be inconvenienced at times.


The grocery store is not the place to each a child their math or money counting.  If one customer has to wait, then it is too long.  It is NOT the place to each a child.  A parent can do that at home or school, not when it remotely inconveniences others.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #41 on: December 11, 2013, 08:35:08 PM »
It is not my responsibility to wait while a parent takes too long to teach their child something they can easily teach them elsewhere.

This, for me, is the crux of the issue. Yes, Junior has to learn to walk. But the proper place for practice is not a busy street, KWIM? If an elderly/disabled person is holding me up by walking slowly, I'll suck it up. They have no other options. But a parent can easily put Junior in a buggy and let him practice walking somewhere else.

I see this as exactly the same.
me too.  This can be done at home and practiced a bit before going to a store.

But, if the parent does not do as you suggest and instead, allows the child to do the transaction, do you say something? And if the parent then refuses your request to hurry up or to let you move ahead, how do you handle that?

I would then catch the eye of the cashier and say "Excuse me, I'm in a hurry. Is there any way that I can be served now, please?"

Hopefully the cashier would then ask the parent and child to move out of the way. Or open up a second cash register for me. If the cashier refused to do anything, I'd be unimpressed, but I guess (short of physically shouldering the parent out of the way) there would be nothing more I could do about it.

I'm also surprised at PPs who think that lunchtime is a "quiet time". In my experience, supermarkets usually get an influx of people during the lunch hour, trying to get some shopping done.

Julsie

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #42 on: December 12, 2013, 09:59:08 AM »
I have homeschooled my children for 15 years now, using both textbooks and real life experiences.  I have never once inconvenienced others while doing so (that I know of!).  That mother was extremely rude.

bah12

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #43 on: December 12, 2013, 09:59:44 AM »
While I can see being annoyed at having to wait for something...I don't see standing behind someone for five minutes as such a huge inconvenience.  Being that most transactions take at least three to four minutes anyway, we aren't talking about a whole lot of extra time. 

I think how you handle it, is you wait for your turn.

And I do think that people should be cognizant of others in line and not purposely take much longer than necessary to complete a transaction.  Taking a kid to a store at a non-busy time to teach them how to make a transaction isn't a big deal.  The mother probably told her child that she could count the money and to renege on that just because someone got in line behind them is unreasonable...for 10 extra minutes, maybe...but not for two.  And this is nowhere near as much time as it takes for the person who waits until every item has been scanned to open up their purse and search for their checkbook.  Unfortunately, not everyone is super efficient and being that we have to share this world with them, we're going to be inconvenienced at times.


The grocery store is not the place to each a child their math or money counting.  If one customer has to wait, then it is too long.  It is NOT the place to each a child.  A parent can do that at home or school, not when it remotely inconveniences others.

Actually, a store (in this case party supply?), or any other real-life experience, is both appropriate and reasonable.  At least the time the OP mentioned the mother taking is reasonable.  What is unreasonable is the expectation that a child, or anyone for that matter, will never inconvenience you.   It is not much different than being held up by a few minutes because you happen to find yourself behind a student driver, or being held up by the extra three minutes by the person who couldn't figure out how to operate the paid parking machine (happened to me this morning). 

Whether or not you are in a rush, holding something heavy, in a bad mood, whatever...it is no one's responsibility to forgo reasonable activity to avoid your annoyance.  And in this case, being behind someone who took two minutes to help a child count change is annoying...not unreasonable.  Someone who took ten minutes to do it would be unreasonable.

Furthermore, I whole heatedly believe that the children that are raised around the "you should be seen and not heard and you are an annoyance to every adult around you" are the same children that grow up to be the incompetent adults who can't work the self-checkout line, can't pull their checkbook out of their purse while their groceries are being scanned, can't order appropriately at the deli-counter, etc.  Taking two minutes here and there to teach a child something practical probably saves you several minutes of frustration in the future.  So, look at those two minutes like an investment and patiently wait your turn at the checkout.

bah12

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Re: Teaching moment?
« Reply #44 on: December 12, 2013, 10:01:49 AM »
I have homeschooled my children for 15 years now, using both textbooks and real life experiences.  I have never once inconvenienced others while doing so (that I know of!).  That mother was extremely rude.

And there it is...you don't know that you have never inconvenienced anyone.  What you do know is that you likely have never done anything unreasonable.  But that doesn't mean that someone wasn't inconvenienced in some minor way by your lessons.  Chances are, that if there was anyone else aside from you and your children around when you were teaching your kids, that someone was inconvenienced...or at the least believed that they were. 


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