Author Topic: Gifts at children's double birthday party  (Read 3720 times)

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Chonsil

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Gifts at children's double birthday party
« on: December 11, 2013, 04:44:51 PM »
My children have been invited to a double 5th birthday party. One of the birthday boys, Charlie, is a good friend to my two. The other birthday boy, Jason, is someone neither I, nor my children know. And I'm a good friend of Charlie's mother, but I don't know Jason's mother at all. We will be giving a gift to Charlie, but what is my gift-giving obligation to Jason? Do I give nothing to him? Or should I get a little token gift?

For what it's worth, the style of party will be a lot of little kids from Charlie's and Jason's nursery class probably all running around, and then eating a bit, and then playing games and dancing. No gift opening at the party.
« Last Edit: December 11, 2013, 06:07:01 PM by Chonsil »

EllenS

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #1 on: December 11, 2013, 04:48:06 PM »
I would bring a gift for the child I know, but make sure to thank both birthday boys and their parents for inviting us.

sammycat

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #2 on: December 11, 2013, 05:00:16 PM »
What EllenS said.  :)

I'm sure there will be people in the reverse situation, so the amount of gifts will likely even out. I wouldn't expect a (virtual) stranger to give my child a present.

m2kbug

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #3 on: December 11, 2013, 05:03:38 PM »
I think I would give a smaller, token gift, but I don't think you are obligated to do so.  I'm thinking maybe a card with candy or chocolate bar inside.  I wouldn't expect my child to receive a gift from strangers in this situation and imagine the other parents feel the same. 

MOM21SON

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #4 on: December 11, 2013, 05:22:44 PM »
I am confused again!  Who is Nathan?

Chonsil

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #5 on: December 11, 2013, 06:08:37 PM »
Apologies! Wasn't consistent with my naming of children. I've fixed that now!

Thanks for opinions!

mechtilde

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #6 on: December 12, 2013, 04:10:03 AM »
I would buy two presents.
NE England

Library Dragon

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #7 on: December 12, 2013, 04:17:28 AM »
A small token gift would be my preference.

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Margo

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #8 on: December 12, 2013, 05:19:16 AM »
I think I'd go with a small, token gift for the child your kids don't know, and something a bit bigger for their friend. Ideally I'd go for 2 different types of gift so it wasn't glaringly obvious that you're treating them differently (e.g. if the 'token' gift is a small toy car, the larger gift might be a book, or a game, not a bigger, better car)

peaches

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #9 on: December 12, 2013, 06:00:08 AM »
At a joint birthday party, you're only responsible for giving a gift to the child you know. Or, in the case of two siblings, to the child or children you know well.

That said, there's nothing wrong with giving a birthday card or token gift to the other child.

It's sensible that the parents won't have gift opening at the party. That can be a real hassle (and problematic) at a joint party.
« Last Edit: December 12, 2013, 06:05:12 AM by peaches »

sweetonsno

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #10 on: December 12, 2013, 06:04:02 AM »
I think EllenS is right, but I'd probably still get a little something for the other kid. If you do decide to do something for him, take Margo's advice and make sure they are pretty different.

CakeEater

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #11 on: December 12, 2013, 06:36:02 AM »
In this situation, we only gave a gift to our niece, not her friend who we didn't know. My niece had a lot of family members present, and her friend didn't, so there was a pretty big disparity in the number of gifts, and they opened them at the party anyway.

It's their choice to have a joint birthday party - I'm only attending in honour of my niece, so only one gift.

Mikayla

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #12 on: December 12, 2013, 11:42:31 AM »
Since you say there's no gift opening at the party, I'd just get a gift for the child you know.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #13 on: December 12, 2013, 03:05:05 PM »
Since you say there's no gift opening at the party, I'd just get a gift for the child you know.
this

Lynn2000

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Re: Gifts at children's double birthday party
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2013, 05:04:09 PM »
In this situation, we only gave a gift to our niece, not her friend who we didn't know. My niece had a lot of family members present, and her friend didn't, so there was a pretty big disparity in the number of gifts, and they opened them at the party anyway.

It's their choice to have a joint birthday party - I'm only attending in honour of my niece, so only one gift.

I think this is a good point. A joint birthday party shouldn't be seen as an opportunity for an "unpopular" child to get more gifts, from the near-strangers who are attending for the sake of the "popular" child (to put it in an extreme way). So I would focus my gift-giving efforts on the child I knew, especially since gifts won't be opened and totaled up in front of everyone.

I guess it does make some difference to me who is hosting the party, though. If Jason's parents (the unknowns) are hosting the entire party at their horse ranch so all the kids can ride ponies, I would be more inclined to get something for Jason, as a sort of hostess-gift-by-proxy. After all, my kid wouldn't get to ride a pony if Jason's parents hadn't agreed to host Charlie's friends as well as their son's. So in that case I'd probably get him a card and a "nice token" gift.
~Lynn2000