Author Topic: Help keeping Christmas under control?  (Read 4462 times)

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aussie_chick

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Re: Help keeping Christmas under control?
« Reply #30 on: September 14, 2014, 07:24:48 AM »
Op I empathise with your situation and desire to have things organised and planned.
I was due 3 days ago - still waiting! But i'm already considering Christmas. I know both mine and DP's families would like us to be with them at Xmas.
Also my home (same town as my father's) is only 45 minutes from DP's family.
It sounds in theory like it would be easy to visit both families on Xmas Day and keep everyone happy.
but it's not that simple.
In your case Op, Xmas Day could be stinking hot, you, your DP, your existing bub and maybe even new bub might be tired, unsettled and everything else that could be possible.
I agree with other posters. In this case, it might be best to make your own plans with your own little family and let everyone else know. If you would welcome visitors on the day, then sure, go ahead and provide the family with that information. But if you can't, that's ok too.
You can't worry about plans that haven't been made or may be made so late that it causes you and your family drama to fit in.

JoyinVirginia

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Re: Help keeping Christmas under control?
« Reply #31 on: September 14, 2014, 07:54:11 AM »
Start your OWN traditions right now! When dh and I had children, we told ALL family on both sides that we would be staying home on Christmas day. We would visit other days, but that was day for us to relax at home. If family is used to you and your dh running around to visit everyone on that day, start telling them now that you do not know how you will be feeling, and your plans are to stay home.
Oldest dd was born in August one year when it had been miserably hot the entire summer, I remember I didn't want to go ANYWHERE the last month, so I feel for you being pregnant in summer OP!

Jocelyn

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Re: Help keeping Christmas under control?
« Reply #32 on: September 14, 2014, 11:27:13 PM »
Is it possible that your doctor might have an opinion about how much activity you should be taking on at that time?
That might be more palatable for your family- that your OB has restricted your activity.

bopper

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Re: Help keeping Christmas under control?
« Reply #33 on: September 25, 2014, 04:45:56 PM »
I think you have a good plan...when they mention any plans in the future, just say "I will be 8.5 months pregnant so I am not sure what I will be doing...keep us in the loop and I will let you know what I am up for...probably a pretty low key Christmas this year."

It is okay to be selfish in this phase of your life.

zora19

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Re: Help keeping Christmas under control?
« Reply #34 on: September 26, 2014, 08:16:55 PM »
OP, are you and your partner the first ones in this generation of the family to have kids? If so, your family may just not remember what it's like to have babies and may need some, um, retraining.  ;)

StarDrifter

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Re: Help keeping Christmas under control?
« Reply #35 on: September 26, 2014, 11:21:26 PM »
Well, we've got ourselves sorted, which is a load off of my shoulders and one less thing I have to think about.
We've decided that we're going to have our own Christmas here at home just the three (or four) of us. We have said that we will try to see people when they're in town, but are making no promises, aside from delivery of presents to the in laws and cousins.
I have also put my foot down about visiting us in hospital (we're not actually telling anyone the date if I do schedule a c-section, except my mom, who will be watching BabyDrifter) and expecting us to be anywhere but in our own home if we have a newborn, or to be hosted in any way other than being offered a cold drink and a snack if they come to visit us.
MIL has been sniping at DH that she doesn't understand why Christmas "isn't important to StarDrifter anymore" and he's been basically ignoring that, after telling her that Christmas is important, but right now the baby/birth is more important.
Hopefully she'll get over it. And if she doesn't, well, that's on her.
... it might frighten them.
Victoria,

ladyknight1

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Re: Help keeping Christmas under control?
« Reply #36 on: September 27, 2014, 08:54:19 AM »
My jaw dropped at what your MIL said. Yes, I agree that Christmas is important, but no more important than your family and your new arrival and the health of you both!

smh

Mergatroyd

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Re: Help keeping Christmas under control?
« Reply #37 on: September 27, 2014, 10:00:38 AM »
Maybe she'll get over it when the grandbaby arrives and steals her heart.

Redneck Gravy

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Re: Help keeping Christmas under control?
« Reply #38 on: October 17, 2014, 02:12:30 PM »
I know I'm late to be chiming in but here is a thought ...

what about firm plans with your family and then letting the others know you have open time (no plans) on x date from noon to 8pm or y date from 430 to midnight and z date from 8 am to 2 pm

You want to see everyone, you want to be agreeable but had to firm up plans with family A

Try to make it sound like you are trying to reduce their stress and be flexible 

I agree the demanding three to four months in advance seems extreme but no plans at all for a pregnant woman in the summer for a big holiday - not smart either 

gmatoy

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Re: Help keeping Christmas under control?
« Reply #39 on: Yesterday at 09:44:16 PM »
MIL has been sniping at DH that she doesn't understand why Christmas "isn't important to StarDrifter anymore" and he's been basically ignoring that, after telling her that Christmas is important, but right now the baby/birth is more important.
Hopefully she'll get over it. And if she doesn't, well, that's on her.

Well, I will tell you that one December, after having given in November, my mother was heard (by me, if no one else) to mutter, "Mary didn't have to do any of this carp after she gave birth!"

I was either 7 or 9 years old...she had November babies twice, two years apart. I remember how resentful she sounded and now I understand why!