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Author Topic: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department  (Read 21770 times)

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LeveeWoman

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #30 on: December 14, 2013, 02:44:58 PM »
I'd also say something to the patient's son. He  needs to know that her intentions were thwarted.

kckgirl

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #31 on: December 14, 2013, 02:54:49 PM »
I'd also say something to the patient's son. He  needs to know that her intentions were thwarted.

This is likely the best solution. Go back and tell him you didn't know about the candy, but asked around in your department and found that one coworker took it home. He can complain to management about her if he chooses. His mother's intentions will be clear that it was not a gift for one person, and management would need to act on a customer complaint.
Maryland

Hillia

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #32 on: December 14, 2013, 02:58:25 PM »
I wouldn't say anything to the son...it can only make him feel as though he needs to replace it, which he doesn't.

And it is theft, not of company resources but of personal property.

veronaz

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2013, 03:05:04 PM »
I wouldn't say anything to the son...it can only make him feel as though he needs to replace it, which he doesn't.

And it is theft, not of company resources but of personal property.

I agree with this.

perpetua

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2013, 03:29:44 PM »
Well, it turns out, from other co worker that X took it home to her family..X said to co worker "Look what Mrs. Y gave me." then left but it was obviously for the department because every other one came with a card that said to --- Department.   


Perhaps I'm being too charitable, but is there any chance this is a giant misunderstanding and co-worker thought they were a gift for her? My first thought is that perhaps there wasn't a card affixed to this particular box, or it fell off, or the patient didn't make it clear (she's in her 90s, after all). If she was knowingly stealing something meant for an entire department why would she say 'Look what Mrs Y gave me!' ? Wouldn't that just draw attention to it? Wouldn't she just stick it in her bag without saying anything?

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #35 on: December 14, 2013, 04:11:11 PM »
I wouldn't say anything to the patient or her son without a supervisor's permission because the incident makes the nursing home look bad.  The patient may get upset -- the elderly sometimes overreact to things.  The son may become concerned about what kind of place he's put his mother in. 
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

LeveeWoman

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #36 on: December 14, 2013, 04:57:47 PM »
I wouldn't say anything to the patient or her son without a supervisor's permission because the incident makes the nursing home look bad.  The patient may get upset -- the elderly sometimes overreact to things.  The son may become concerned about what kind of place he's put his mother in.

Doesn't he need to be concerned that he's put his mother in a place with a thief?

Erich L-ster

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #37 on: December 14, 2013, 05:09:41 PM »
What if the supervisor would be expected to write a thank-you note on behalf of the department? She/he doesn't know about the present and the lack of thanks might make her/him look bad.

KB

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #38 on: December 14, 2013, 05:12:55 PM »
Well, it turns out, from other co worker that X took it home to her family..X said to co worker "Look what Mrs. Y gave me." then left but it was obviously for the department because every other one came with a card that said to --- Department.   


Perhaps I'm being too charitable, but is there any chance this is a giant misunderstanding and co-worker thought they were a gift for her? My first thought is that perhaps there wasn't a card affixed to this particular box, or it fell off, or the patient didn't make it clear (she's in her 90s, after all). If she was knowingly stealing something meant for an entire department why would she say 'Look what Mrs Y gave me!' ? Wouldn't that just draw attention to it? Wouldn't she just stick it in her bag without saying anything?

I wondered that, too, initially, whether she said "Dear X, this is for you because you've taken such good care of me!" and X assumed that it was for him alone (which is one interpretation of the wording) but the mention of the large cards on the other boxes that went to other departments suggests that this can't be the case, unfortunately. (I suppose it's possible that the card was lost, but that would be awfully convenient...)

TootsNYC

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #39 on: December 14, 2013, 05:13:39 PM »
I wouldn't say anything to the son...it can only make him feel as though he needs to replace it, which he doesn't.

And it is theft, not of company resources but of personal property.

It can also make him worry about his mother's safety, and the safety of her possessions. I don't think management would be glad to hear that you'd done that.

gen xer

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #40 on: December 14, 2013, 06:03:39 PM »
Well, it turns out, from other co worker that X took it home to her family..X said to co worker "Look what Mrs. Y gave me." then left but it was obviously for the department because every other one came with a card that said to --- Department.   


Perhaps I'm being too charitable, but is there any chance this is a giant misunderstanding and co-worker thought they were a gift for her? My first thought is that perhaps there wasn't a card affixed to this particular box, or it fell off, or the patient didn't make it clear (she's in her 90s, after all). If she was knowingly stealing something meant for an entire department why would she say 'Look what Mrs Y gave me!' ? Wouldn't that just draw attention to it? Wouldn't she just stick it in her bag without saying anything?

Maybe we are stretching the benefit of the doubt pretty far here but this is exactly why I would not pursue it.  You know Mrs X is going to say she misunderstood ( even if she understood perfectly ) and you have no way of proving otherwise.  After all she showed it to another coworker before she made off with it.

All that's going to come of pursuing this is possibly upsetting and frightening patients, their family members, poor employee relations / morale and maybe even getting yourself in hot water because accusing another employee of theft could have some major repercussions.

Maybe others would disagree but I would want to be 100 % sure before I ever thought of saying something that could compromise someone else's job...no matter how much I disliked the person.

Mel the Redcap

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #41 on: December 14, 2013, 06:04:25 PM »
I'm for telling the supervisor but not the son.

My first thought was, "what if the OP had responded 'what chocolates?' and the son ended up finding out they'd been stolen by the coworker?" Even if she would never steal from a resident - even if she's the sort of person who thinks this sort of petty theft (of a shared food/perishable item) 'doesn't count' (which it totally does, IMO!) - he's got to start wondering if she's light-fingered in general. Little things his mother or other residents can't find, did they really lose them or were they stolen? And you end up with official complaints and unofficial rumours and the facility's reputation takes a hit. And what if she is a thief in other ways?

She's in a position of trust working with vulnerable people. I hope it gets taken seriously.
"Set aphasia to stun!"

*inviteseller

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #42 on: December 14, 2013, 07:51:53 PM »
Toots..I have only been there a few months and this woman trained me.  She came on way too strong and I had her pegged for what she was within a week but was still stuck with her.  I finally told our supervisor, a very nice guy, that I knew what was expected of me and I no longer wanted to be joined at the hip with her (she was like a fly on a turd with me, I swear couldn't go pee without her following me).  She has noticed the pulling back and has spent the last 2 weeks making PA comments and trying to get me in trouble with other co workers, but her reputation precedes her, so they see I also, like many others want to spend the least amount of time with her.   I will mention to supervisor on Monday that she took the candy meant for department as her own, but what will be done, I don't know.  I am not going to make a big deal about it, just mention that it was awkward and what should I say in the future.  Of course, this is the same woman who, when they raffled off a large flat screen tv they were no longer going to use as they had gotten some new ones told everyone only she deserved it so she could give it to, and I quote (and I cringed when she said it) "That poor retarded woman I take care of because she deserves to have happiness."  You should have seen all our faces when it was her name called... >:( >:( :o :o

And no I will NOT say anything to the son or resident.   They forget where they put things in their apartments then accuse employees of stealing.  This will just cement that thought.  And there could be no misunderstanding because they were written on the card *our department*

Roe

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #43 on: December 14, 2013, 10:09:10 PM »
I would mention it to your supervisor.  What your co-worker did was stealing.

Agree.

LifeOnPluto

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #44 on: December 15, 2013, 12:21:16 AM »
If your supervisor is a reasonable, supportive employer then I would raise the issue with him.

However, I bet that Ms X claims it was a misunderstanding, and she was "told" that the chocolates were for her alone, etc.