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Author Topic: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department  (Read 21777 times)

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aussie_chick

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #45 on: December 15, 2013, 06:19:34 AM »
I wouldn't say anything to the son at all. I also doubt I would say anything to the supervisor.

I would say something directly to the CW who was seen carrying the chocolates out of the workplace. "Hey not sure if you were aware that those chocolates were for everyone?" If she asks what chocolates, tell her she was seen taking them home.

but to do that, you need to be ABSOLUTELY SURE that the person who said they saw her leave with them is trustworthy.

Is there a communication book for employees to communicate with each other from shift to shift? (There was in the residential unit I worked in years ago when I was at uni) If so, maybe write a comment for all to see "Hi All, so and so's son asked me how the chocolates for our department were. I haven't seen any chocolates here but I thanked him anyway. Just wanted you to know in case he asks you the same thing!"

*inviteseller

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #46 on: December 15, 2013, 07:45:15 AM »
There is no doubt she knew it was for the department.  The woman told people when she handed them out "This is for your department.  Thank you".  When I was hired, one of the things I had to sign was a paper stating I was NOT allowed to accept money from residents (they try to tip us) but we were allowed to take candy/cookies/lottery tickets around the holidays but it had to be reported to supervisor about who gave what.  Most everything that has been coming in from them are 'department' gifts..goodie baskets, chocolates, cookies.  When these are given, we take them down to our 'office' (maintenance/laundry room) and set them out on the table for everyone to see/share but she just took the box of chocolates and went out the door with them.  Makes me wonder if there has been anything else.  And, TBH, if a resident had given me such a large box for myself, I would still have put it in the to be shared area. Also, these boxes of chocolates go for $20+ a box so there is no way, no matter how well to do our residents are, she was going to buy one each for over 50 employees.   Another thing that struck me as I was reading all your replies was that 4 out of 5 of us in the housekeeping and both of the maintenance guys are always bringing in treats to share...this woman never brings anything but she sure helps herself to everything.  I would confront her myself like some posters have mentioned, but recently I have tried to have talks with her about certain things she is saying/doing and it hasn't ended well (her crying and saying "I was just trying to be your friend and do what is best for you  >:() and me frustrated.

Tomorrow I will casually mention to supervisor than resident's son asked about candy given to our department but found out later employee took the box for herself and that while I honestly could care less about the chocolate it put me in an awkward position to either say thanks or what are you talking about.  He will see that for what it is..not tattle telling but putting employees in a bad position and potentially making the candy thief go under the microscope to make sure she isn't doing it to anyone else.  While a box of chocolates or a plate of cookies going missing in an office setting (and I have worked with those people before) is upsetting, doing it in a residence setting where trust is of the utmost importance, any breech of that trust will paint an employee in a bad light.

CakeBeret

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #47 on: December 15, 2013, 08:47:00 AM »
Tomorrow I will casually mention to supervisor than resident's son asked about candy given to our department but found out later employee took the box for herself and that while I honestly could care less about the chocolate it put me in an awkward position to either say thanks or what are you talking about.  He will see that for what it is..not tattle telling but putting employees in a bad position and potentially making the candy thief go under the microscope to make sure she isn't doing it to anyone else.  While a box of chocolates or a plate of cookies going missing in an office setting (and I have worked with those people before) is upsetting, doing it in a residence setting where trust is of the utmost importance, any breech of that trust will paint an employee in a bad light.

I think this is a great way of addressing it. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
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artk2002

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #48 on: December 15, 2013, 08:54:58 AM »
Oh, I most certainly think it's theft, but, at least at my work, you'd have to prove it was intentional and couldn't fire her outright for something like this (even doing what's called "diverting" when stealing meds doesn't always result in immediate termination, AFAIK -- it depends upon the situation).

Wow! Diverting prescribed medications is illegal, the moral implications notwithstanding. I would think that would be cause for immediate suspension and then dismissal.
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cicero

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #49 on: December 15, 2013, 09:28:28 AM »
  Of course, this is the same woman who, when they raffled off a large flat screen tv they were no longer going to use as they had gotten some new ones told everyone only she deserved it so she could give it to, and I quote (and I cringed when she said it) "That poor retarded woman I take care of because she deserves to have happiness."  You should have seen all our faces when it was her name called... >:( >:( :o :o

Wow, she sounds exactly like the kind of person you would want to work with elderly/infirm/forgetful people, huh? /sarcasm

This just makes me so sad. I know that there are many many people who work with the elderly and are just angels and every time I hear about someone like this person who takes advantage of people who can't really defend themselves my blood boils.

Yes bring this up. Not as a tattle tale, not as "I want my chocolate", but as "this is indicative of her character and lack of moral compass, yet again".

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gen xer

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #50 on: December 15, 2013, 09:46:53 AM »
Not trying to start an argument here……..REALLY, I’m not…….and I certainly don’t want to get this thread locked.

BUT……

For those who said don’t report incident to boss:
What if the chocolates had been for one employee – Mary – and Joe happened to see them, removed the card and took them home, and someone saw him leave with the gift/box of chocolates.  Would your opinions/answers differ?

Just curious.
Honestly...I would probably assume that Mary had told Joe he could have them because she didn't want them....if only because that is a frequent occurrence where I work.   I think it depends on your particular office culture so I know that it wouldn't be the case everywhere...but I probably wouldn't think twice.

Invite....what would happen if you mentioned it to her just in a casual sort of way...not confrontational....just asking what became of them?  I'm only asking because I think going to the supervisor right away could open up a big Pandora's box and I would not want to see it backfire on you.

perpetua

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #51 on: December 15, 2013, 09:52:28 AM »
There is no doubt she knew it was for the department.  The woman told people when she handed them out "This is for your department.  Thank you". 

A small point of order, but you don't actually know that she said 'these are for your department' to coworker X when she handed over the chocolates because you weren't there. All you know is that she said that to the maintenance guy you spoke to, so you need to tread carefully. This could so very easily be a misunderstanding of some kind.

If she hasn't reported the gift as per the rules though, she's definitely in the wrong about that.

gramma dishes

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #52 on: December 15, 2013, 10:42:45 AM »
Tomorrow I will casually mention to supervisor than resident's son asked about candy given to our department but found out later employee took the box for herself and that while I honestly could care less about the chocolate it put me in an awkward position to either say thanks or what are you talking about.  He will see that for what it is..not tattle telling but putting employees in a bad position and potentially making the candy thief go under the microscope to make sure she isn't doing it to anyone else.  While a box of chocolates or a plate of cookies going missing in an office setting (and I have worked with those people before) is upsetting, doing it in a residence setting where trust is of the utmost importance, any breech of that trust will paint an employee in a bad light.

I think this is a great way of addressing it. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Inviteseller, I agree with CakeBeret that this seems like the perfect way to handle it.  You will have brought the situation to the attention of the appropriate person without sounding whiny about it, but pointing out that her absconding with the entire box of candy for herself put YOU and the other employees in your department in an awkward position which could have made the entire facility look bad had you not been so quick thinking and thanked him for a gift you never got or even saw.

*inviteseller

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #53 on: December 15, 2013, 12:27:33 PM »
There is no doubt she knew it was for the department.  The woman told people when she handed them out "This is for your department.  Thank you". 

A small point of order, but you don't actually know that she said 'these are for your department' to coworker X when she handed over the chocolates because you weren't there. All you know is that she said that to the maintenance guy you spoke to, so you need to tread carefully. This could so very easily be a misunderstanding of some kind.

If she hasn't reported the gift as per the rules though, she's definitely in the wrong about that.

Yes, I do know they were for the department, as the son of the resident asked if WE enjoyed the chocolates.  No one else got an individual box..each department got their own box (and one department got 3, one for for each shift) and they were all talking about them..this is a local company that does make some heavenly, yet expensive, chocolates.  And I could see her getting her own if she was someone who took care of her but she goes into her apartment once a week, Sundays, to get her trash and that is it.  Myself and another woman are in there either to clean her apartment once a week, or as for myself, 5 days a week to bring her towels, empty her trash, and generally help her out around the apartment so if anyone were to get an individual thanks, it would seem more likely to be me or the other girl in my department who do tend to her needs daily.  Again, it is not about the gift, but about how we look when asked if we liked something and I have no clue what they mean and I could either throw her under the bus to the family and resident which makes my department look bad, or lie like a cheap rug and quietly seethe about being put in that position.  And this resident, while one of my favorites, can be quite demanding and her family expects us to bow to her (and for the money they pay we should!  Very upscale place) so anything like this can just look so bad.  We have been getting gift baskets for our breakroom right and left from residents and the cookie platters are rolling in.  The residents and their families know we ALL take care of them and they appreciate it, but if it is found out that one employee is confiscating the department goodies it just looks bad..and these are things that are preached to us at our daily meetings.  We should be above reproach.

citadelle

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #54 on: December 15, 2013, 12:39:07 PM »
There is no doubt she knew it was for the department.  The woman told people when she handed them out "This is for your department.  Thank you". 

A small point of order, but you don't actually know that she said 'these are for your department' to coworker X when she handed over the chocolates because you weren't there. All you know is that she said that to the maintenance guy you spoke to, so you need to tread carefully. This could so very easily be a misunderstanding of some kind.

If she hasn't reported the gift as per the rules though, she's definitely in the wrong about that.

Yes, I do know they were for the department, as the son of the resident asked if WE enjoyed the chocolates.  No one else got an individual box..each department got their own box (and one department got 3, one for for each shift) and they were all talking about them..this is a local company that does make some heavenly, yet expensive, chocolates.  And I could see her getting her own if she was someone who took care of her but she goes into her apartment once a week, Sundays, to get her trash and that is it.  Myself and another woman are in there either to clean her apartment once a week, or as for myself, 5 days a week to bring her towels, empty her trash, and generally help her out around the apartment so if anyone were to get an individual thanks, it would seem more likely to be me or the other girl in my department who do tend to her needs daily.  Again, it is not about the gift, but about how we look when asked if we liked something and I have no clue what they mean and I could either throw her under the bus to the family and resident which makes my department look bad, or lie like a cheap rug and quietly seethe about being put in that position.  And this resident, while one of my favorites, can be quite demanding and her family expects us to bow to her (and for the money they pay we should!  Very upscale place) so anything like this can just look so bad.  We have been getting gift baskets for our breakroom right and left from residents and the cookie platters are rolling in.  The residents and their families know we ALL take care of them and they appreciate it, but if it is found out that one employee is confiscating the department goodies it just looks bad..and these are things that are preached to us at our daily meetings.  We should be above reproach.

Don't want to speak for perpetua, but I think she meant that you don't know what the resident*actually said, word for word, even if you do know what her intentions were.

Ugh...edited to change son to resident and his to her. Hope that didn't cause confusion.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2013, 02:50:42 PM by citadelle »

perpetua

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #55 on: December 15, 2013, 12:45:58 PM »
There is no doubt she knew it was for the department.  The woman told people when she handed them out "This is for your department.  Thank you". 

A small point of order, but you don't actually know that she said 'these are for your department' to coworker X when she handed over the chocolates because you weren't there. All you know is that she said that to the maintenance guy you spoke to, so you need to tread carefully. This could so very easily be a misunderstanding of some kind.

If she hasn't reported the gift as per the rules though, she's definitely in the wrong about that.

Yes, I do know they were for the department, as the son of the resident asked if WE enjoyed the chocolates.  No one else got an individual box..each department got their own box (and one department got 3, one for for each shift) and they were all talking about them..this is a local company that does make some heavenly, yet expensive, chocolates.  And I could see her getting her own if she was someone who took care of her but she goes into her apartment once a week, Sundays, to get her trash and that is it.  Myself and another woman are in there either to clean her apartment once a week, or as for myself, 5 days a week to bring her towels, empty her trash, and generally help her out around the apartment so if anyone were to get an individual thanks, it would seem more likely to be me or the other girl in my department who do tend to her needs daily.  Again, it is not about the gift, but about how we look when asked if we liked something and I have no clue what they mean and I could either throw her under the bus to the family and resident which makes my department look bad, or lie like a cheap rug and quietly seethe about being put in that position.  And this resident, while one of my favorites, can be quite demanding and her family expects us to bow to her (and for the money they pay we should!  Very upscale place) so anything like this can just look so bad.  We have been getting gift baskets for our breakroom right and left from residents and the cookie platters are rolling in.  The residents and their families know we ALL take care of them and they appreciate it, but if it is found out that one employee is confiscating the department goodies it just looks bad..and these are things that are preached to us at our daily meetings.  We should be above reproach.

Don't want to speak for perpetua, but I think she meant that you don't know what the son actually said, word for word, even if you do know what his intentions were.

Yes, thank you Citadelle, that's exactly what I meant.

I know the chocolates are meant for the department (as do you), but you specifically stated that you knew the lady said "These are for the department" when she handed the gift over to your coworker. You don't, because you weren't there at the time. She may have said that to your maintenance co worker, but she might *not* have said it to Coworker X. And this is why you need to go careful on implying theft of any kind. It could *so* easily be a misunderstanding.

*inviteseller

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #56 on: December 15, 2013, 01:04:21 PM »
Well then, if that is the case and I have to decide that the son is wrong and co worker was right I won't say anything.

FauxFoodist

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #57 on: December 15, 2013, 01:08:57 PM »
Oh, I most certainly think it's theft, but, at least at my work, you'd have to prove it was intentional and couldn't fire her outright for something like this (even doing what's called "diverting" when stealing meds doesn't always result in immediate termination, AFAIK -- it depends upon the situation).

Wow! Diverting prescribed medications is illegal, the moral implications notwithstanding. I would think that would be cause for immediate suspension and then dismissal.

Public university.  You have to investigate first (so, the most that could happen immediately is putting the employee on paid investigatory leave while investigating the incident).  After investigating, the disciplinary action has to be approved before it could take place.  While the diverting may have resulted in termination, we don't have immediate termination (so, I was not clear - I should've mentioned there likely would be immediate suspension but not immediate termination).

perpetua

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #58 on: December 15, 2013, 01:32:02 PM »
Well then, if that is the case and I have to decide that the son is wrong and co worker was right I won't say anything.

Where are you getting that from? You're completely misunderstanding what I'm saying.

Obviously you know the gift was intended for the department, as does the son.  Neither of you are 'wrong' about the intention of the gift. What you *don't* know is what the lady said to the co-worker when she handed the gift over. You don't know that she explicitly said "These are for the department", because you weren't there.

You may well be right, she may well have nicked them, but equally it could all be a misunderstanding between the co-worker and the lady who gave the gift. Coworker may genuinely have thought they were for her.  My feeling on this comes from the fact that she apparently said "Look what Gift Lady gave me!". If she was deliberately stealing them, given that everyone else *does* seem to be aware that the gifts were for the departments, if she *was* aware it wasn't just for her surely she wouldn't have mentioned it to anyone at all and just secreted it away somewhere?

I think perhaps a chance to explain herself might be in order, on the offchance that it *was* a misunderstanding. Accusations of theft based on hearsay and supposition just aren't a good idea, and you could come off looking just as bad as co-worker if you're wrong.
« Last Edit: December 15, 2013, 01:55:50 PM by perpetua »

TinyVulgarUnicorn

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #59 on: December 15, 2013, 01:56:58 PM »
I'd like to be charitable in my thoughts, but if there was a card attached to the candies that said, 'For invitesellers Team' then I have a hard time believing that she didn't know what she was doing.