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Author Topic: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department  (Read 21721 times)

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TootsNYC

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #60 on: December 15, 2013, 01:58:39 PM »
Tomorrow I will casually mention to supervisor than resident's son asked about candy given to our department but found out later employee took the box for herself and that while I honestly could care less about the chocolate it put me in an awkward position to either say thanks or what are you talking about.  He will see that for what it is..not tattle telling but putting employees in a bad position and potentially making the candy thief go under the microscope to make sure she isn't doing it to anyone else.  While a box of chocolates or a plate of cookies going missing in an office setting (and I have worked with those people before) is upsetting, doing it in a residence setting where trust is of the utmost importance, any breech of that trust will paint an employee in a bad light.

I think this is a great way of addressing it. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Ditto!

perpetua

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #61 on: December 15, 2013, 02:02:35 PM »
I'd like to be charitable in my thoughts, but if there was a card attached to the candies that said, 'For invitesellers Team' then I have a hard time believing that she didn't know what she was doing.

The optimum word there is 'if'. There may not have been. The only people who know if there was a card attached to them are the lady who gave the gift and the coworker who received it.

Equally, I have a hard time believing that someone who was stealing something would deliberately draw attention to it.

miranova

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #62 on: December 15, 2013, 02:10:05 PM »
Based on the evidence in this thread, if I had to take a guess I would say that the coworker deliberately kept the chocolates knowing they weren't only for her.  However, and this is a huge however, she certainly isn't going to admit it!  That's why I wouldn't report her.  She will say she misunderstood.  That's all she has to say to get away with it, at least in my experience.  I've never had any bosses who would investigate something like that further, beyond "it must have been a misunderstanding, let's all move on".  I'm not saying that's how it should be handled, just that one has to consider their own work culture and environment before they choose to tell something like this. 

Also, I find the comparisons to far more serious thefts to be a red herring.  I would absolutely report anyone stealing medication!  This isn't medication, it's chocolate given as a gift.  It's not something that the OP has a duty to report.

Mel the Redcap

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #63 on: December 15, 2013, 02:14:50 PM »
I'd like to be charitable in my thoughts, but if there was a card attached to the candies that said, 'For invitesellers Team' then I have a hard time believing that she didn't know what she was doing.

The optimum word there is 'if'. There may not have been. The only people who know if there was a card attached to them are the lady who gave the gift and the coworker who received it.

Equally, I have a hard time believing that someone who was stealing something would deliberately draw attention to it.

We equally don't know that she drew attention to it - we know that she said "look what so-and-so gave me@, but that might have been a deflection after she'd been spotted walking out with it. Also, I have to say that I can believe someone drawing attention to something they stole in a preemptive "look at this thing I just got in a TOTALLY LEGITIMATE WAY, honest!" sort of defence. I've seen it happen.
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BarensMom

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #64 on: December 15, 2013, 02:33:59 PM »
Based on the evidence in this thread, if I had to take a guess I would say that the coworker deliberately kept the chocolates knowing they weren't only for her.  However, and this is a huge however, she certainly isn't going to admit it!  That's why I wouldn't report her.  She will say she misunderstood.  That's all she has to say to get away with it, at least in my experience.  I've never had any bosses who would investigate something like that further, beyond "it must have been a misunderstanding, let's all move on".  I'm not saying that's how it should be handled, just that one has to consider their own work culture and environment before they choose to tell something like this. 

I would still tell the boss and even if the coworker says she misunderstood, the boss can make the rules clear so there will be no further "misunderstandings."

Amara

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #65 on: December 15, 2013, 02:50:29 PM »
OP, your idea about how to approach your supervisor is excellent because if the co-worker did abscond with the chocolates meant for the department but denies it or acts confused thus gets away with her theft--and yes, I think it is outright theft--at least it puts her on the alert that others know.

TootsNYC

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #66 on: December 15, 2013, 02:52:16 PM »
Quote from: perpetua link=topic=131455.msg3070241#msg3070241
Equally, I have a hard time believing that someone who was stealing something would deliberately draw attention to it.
[/quote

I can totally believe that someone would make the comment, "look what she gave me!" in an attempt to create plausible deniability, since they're not going to get out of the building without being spotted.


CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #67 on: December 15, 2013, 04:11:33 PM »
When you talk to your supervisor, you could frame it as seeking advice, which is perfectly valid.  You've been placed in a difficult situation and you (and your innocent coworkers) don't know how to handle it.  You don't even have to mention the offending coworker by name, just that one employee took the chocolate home.  If your supervisor is concerned, s/he will ask for details.

I believe that the management of most nursing homes would want to know about the incident, especially since it's a violation of policy.  It's possible that there have been other complaints about the woman who took the chocolates.  My dad sometimes gets upset enough with an employee that he complains to management, and his complaints are always taken seriously.  The place doesn't stay in business by retaining employees who treat the residents poorly.
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*inviteseller

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #68 on: December 15, 2013, 08:28:41 PM »
This woman is enough of a SS, but not smart enough to know we would find out to brag that they were for her.  This is the same woman who told others to not enter the drawing for the huge tv because the handicapped woman she takes care of it deserved it more (and said to me "If you win, I still get to take it to her right?"..no) and decided a beautiful leather recliner that was left when a resident passed recently was to be hers.  She was so upset when she was told no and complained for days to everyone how unfair it was because she knew the family would have wanted her to have it.  She really has a superiority complex and has turned so many people off..I could fill pages of this woman's antics in the short time I have been there.  I will decide in the morning how to approach it, but I bet the other 3 ladies are already hot under the collar with her because they are sick of her.

Marisol

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #69 on: December 15, 2013, 09:20:59 PM »
I hope that something positive comes of this. It sounds like she did it deliberately to me, although there might not be any way to prove it.

Psychopoesie

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #70 on: December 15, 2013, 09:58:33 PM »
I'm with previous posters who say raise it with the supervisor.

The coworker is in a position of trust, dealing with vulnerable people. As such her behaviour needs to be above reproach, avoiding even the perception of this type of wrongdoing. If it was a genuine misunderstanding (personally doubt this), then she can amend her behaviour in future. If she was stealing, it puts her on notice that the organisation views this seriously - hopefully enough to dissuade her from trying this again.


sammycat

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #71 on: December 15, 2013, 10:46:15 PM »
decided a beautiful leather recliner that was left when a resident passed recently was to be hers.  She was so upset when she was told no and complained for days to everyone how unfair it was because she knew the family would have wanted her to have it. 

Obviously it didn't occur to her that if the family had actually wanted her to have it, they'd have given it to her, or the owner would have written it in her will, or something.

But back to the actual topic, I agree with the others to report it your supervisor. It might "just" be a box of chocolates this time, but what about next time (or the previous times no one knows about).

Otterpop

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #72 on: December 16, 2013, 01:14:22 AM »
decided a beautiful leather recliner that was left when a resident passed recently was to be hers.  She was so upset when she was told no and complained for days to everyone how unfair it was because she knew the family would have wanted her to have it. 

Obviously it didn't occur to her that if the family had actually wanted her to have it, they'd have given it to her, or the owner would have written it in her will, or something.

But back to the actual topic, I agree with the others to report it your supervisor. It might "just" be a box of chocolates this time, but what about next time (or the previous times no one knows about).

Theft is a major problem at most nursing homes and it is depressing to the residents and families.  My grandmother spent months in a nursing home years ago and one by one, all her beautiful hand-knit sweaters went missing.  We had to take anything of value out of her wardrobe and leave her with plain, ugly clothing while she was living here.  Prior to this, she always took care to dress beautifully and elegantly, so it broke our hearts and diminished her spirit.

It's not just the monetary value your co-worker stole, it's also the goodwill of the giver and morale of the department.  Hope to hear your supervisor took some action.

perpetua

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #73 on: December 16, 2013, 01:32:09 AM »
decided a beautiful leather recliner that was left when a resident passed recently was to be hers.  She was so upset when she was told no and complained for days to everyone how unfair it was because she knew the family would have wanted her to have it. 

Obviously it didn't occur to her that if the family had actually wanted her to have it, they'd have given it to her, or the owner would have written it in her will, or something.

But back to the actual topic, I agree with the others to report it your supervisor. It might "just" be a box of chocolates this time, but what about next time (or the previous times no one knows about).

Theft is a major problem at most nursing homes and it is depressing to the residents and families.  My grandmother spent months in a nursing home years ago and one by one, all her beautiful hand-knit sweaters went missing.  We had to take anything of value out of her wardrobe and leave her with plain, ugly clothing while she was living here.  Prior to this, she always took care to dress beautifully and elegantly, so it broke our hearts and diminished her spirit.

It's not just the monetary value your co-worker stole, it's also the goodwill of the giver and morale of the department.  Hope to hear your supervisor took some action.

It is, but you know what? Mostly it's the other residents, or at least it was in the case of where my Mum lived for the last few years of her life. They were always wandering into each others' rooms and pinching stuff because they all had dementia. Clothes, mostly. We'd often go into see her and she'd be wearing someone else's jumper and nobody had a clue whose it was.

Back on the topic, I like the idea that someone posted upthread of letting her know it had been noticed. If it *was* a misunderstanding, then it won't happen again. If it wasn't, then she knows it's been noticed and won't happen again. (hopefully). But I'm just not sure how anyone can prove this particular instance.

Otterpop

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Re: Co Worker co opting a gift meant for Department
« Reply #74 on: December 16, 2013, 09:13:14 AM »
You may be right about the residents Perpetua, but Grandmother kept complaining of the staff bagging up her sweaters for laundry and never returning them.  She was often found in strange clothes too, very ragged ill-fitting stuff.  So either they were given to other residents (we never saw anyone else in them), or were just taken.  She lost many fine pieces she hand knit herself, blankets, wool cardigans and pullovers... She was such an elegant lady, it was sad to see her in the plain/ugly clothing she saved for wearing while puttering in the yard or housekeeping.  We also had to take home any jewelry and put a cable lock on the TV we provided for her room.

The whole experience was demoralizing in every possible way. 
« Last Edit: December 16, 2013, 09:14:58 AM by Otterpop »