Etiquette School is in session! > "So kind of you to take an interest."

Keep Staring, She Might do a Trick!

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CakeEater:
You know what, though? Sometimes bystanders are put in a difficult situation of not wanting to just carry on with what they've been doing as though they don't notice that there's a sick child in the room. It can feel a bit like you're ignoring their pain if you don't take any notice at all.

And sometimes I might be watching from a distance because I don't want to crowd around and be in the way, but I might be able to go for water, or a fresh bucket or a towel if I can see that it's needed, or the person actually attending to the sick child looks up and catched my eye, and an ask for something they need more easily.

And it's pretty natural to turn your head and see what's happening if there's a commotion in the room. And perhaps to keep looking so that you know that everything has turned out OK.

I couldn't really understand who was screaming about being grossed out. If that was a staff member, I'd find that very strange. If it's other kids, I'd be asking them to stop it, but I wouldn't find that so unusual.

I think that the best thing you can do is get the ill student somewhere more private as soon as you can.

AnaMaria:
I can see where people would turn to see if everything was okay, but to keep staring when the situation is obviously under control (or there's nothing you can do) is what's really terrible.  A few years ago someone had a medical emergency in the middle of a church service, and our pastor asked everyone (except one member of the congregation who was a doctor and was caring for her) to please close their eyes and say a silent prayer for the victim while the EMTs came in and put her on a stretcher- obviously, we believe in the power of prayer in our church, but it was also just to give the poor woman some privacy.  There were plenty of other people in the congregation who were concerned and would have been able to help in some way, but, usually when you're in the midst of some health crisis, whether it be throwing up or a serious emergency, you don't want more people "helping" or watching you than necessary.  Privacy is the best thing you can offer someone in that situation!

CakeEater:

--- Quote from: AnaMaria on December 15, 2013, 02:56:03 PM ---I can see where people would turn to see if everything was okay, but to keep staring when the situation is obviously under control (or there's nothing you can do) is what's really terrible.  A few years ago someone had a medical emergency in the middle of a church service, and our pastor asked everyone (except one member of the congregation who was a doctor and was caring for her) to please close their eyes and say a silent prayer for the victim while the EMTs came in and put her on a stretcher- obviously, we believe in the power of prayer in our church, but it was also just to give the poor woman some privacy.   There were plenty of other people in the congregation who were concerned and would have been able to help in some way, but, usually when you're in the midst of some health crisis, whether it be throwing up or a serious emergency, you don't want more people "helping" or watching you than necessary.  Privacy is the best thing you can offer someone in that situation!

--- End quote ---

And I just find that unrealistic. I don't always close my eyes while praying, and I don't think I could keep my eyes shut for the whole time it took for an ambulance to arrive and get someone on a stretcher. Plus, it's not really the job of the pastor to tell me what to do with my eyelids. I think I'd be weirded out if I was the paramedic walking into a room full of people with their eyes shut. If it was that important in that situation that no-one was watching, I'd have had everyone vacate the church.

I don't disagree that sick people would prefer not to be looked at, but it's unrealistic to expect that no-one will look at something unusual happening in the room.

shhh its me:
  Glaring at someone for being sick is rude.  Seeing someone is sick and thinking "hmm I hope the flu isn't going around, I'll need to be extra careful all the kids are washing their hands.  Gee Son had a fever this morning I hope he's well. That's the 12th time little Susy has been this sick that seems like a lot  in 8 weeks. I'm concerned for her."  those looks can all appear the same.

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