Wording needed! Employee with medical issues

[Cherry91]

Has "Phil" considered counselling? Many charities related to specific diseases have lists of individuals and organisations who have both the medical knowledge of the disease and the psychological training to offer the support and assistance he needs. His doctor might also know of some good professionals to contact, even if it's just a helpline.

That way, Phil gets to get his concerns off of his chest to someone who understands exactly what he's going through, and who is also likely to know effective ways to help.

[starry diadem]

Very well done!

[SamiHami]

I would approach it from that standpoint if I were you.  Bring it up in the sense of "it's okay, you might have had to do that at another job but here, we believe you."  Then, if it is for another reason he's doing it, he will know to cut it back, and face is saved by all.

POD.  I might word it like this:

"I want you to feel free to take whatever time you need to get your treatment. I also want you to have your privacy.  Please don't give me medical details, as I can't be responsible for protecting your information, especially on email.  All I need to know is when you will be out/back, the timeframe on your projects, and whether you need backup to finish things on time.  I know you are not slacking."

That's really good wording. I'd definitely go with that or something very similar.

[PastryGoddess]

I would approach it from that standpoint if I were you.  Bring it up in the sense of "it's okay, you might have had to do that at another job but here, we believe you."  Then, if it is for another reason he's doing it, he will know to cut it back, and face is saved by all.

POD.  I might word it like this:

"I want you to feel free to take whatever time you need to get your treatment. I also want you to have your privacy.  Please don't give me medical details, as I can't be responsible for protecting your information, especially on email.  All I need to know is when you will be out/back, the timeframe on your projects, and whether you need backup to finish things on time.  I know you are not slacking."

That's really good wording. I'd definitely go with that or something very similar.

I believe the OP has already spoken to him

[cattlekid]

I've been on the receiving end of this speech (proactively, not because I was an oversharer  ) and I can agree from experience that the last sentence - "I know you are not slacking" was the most important thing I needed to hear at the time, along with the extension "and management knows that as well".    It went a long way towards allowing me to focus on my own health instead of constantly worrying about whether I was being perceived as a slacker.

I would approach it from that standpoint if I were you.  Bring it up in the sense of "it's okay, you might have had to do that at another job but here, we believe you."  Then, if it is for another reason he's doing it, he will know to cut it back, and face is saved by all.

POD.  I might word it like this:

"I want you to feel free to take whatever time you need to get your treatment. I also want you to have your privacy.  Please don't give me medical details, as I can't be responsible for protecting your information, especially on email.  All I need to know is when you will be out/back, the timeframe on your projects, and whether you need backup to finish things on time.  I know you are not slacking."

That's really good wording. I'd definitely go with that or something very similar.

[TootsNYC]

Other than the thing employees have about justifying absence, another reason for his doing this may be that you are a 'safe' place for him to relieve his fears and apprehensions about his condition. It may be that within his family he always has to be the strong one and can't show fear and frustration, and his friendships are not of the kind where he has anyone to unload on. You're someone he knows, but not close, a relationship that isn't really personal but where you know a great deal about him and where you remain a disinterested (in the truest sense of the word) listener.

I'm not suggesting that you just suck up the discomfort and continue to allow him to give out TMI, but understanding all the potential reasons behind it will help you decide how best to handle him.

And you could say something like, "As you know I'm concerned for you and want to be supportive as your boss, but I can't really be a confidante for you on this. But I can't imagine how hard it must be, and of course you need someone you can talk to; please call the Employee Assistant Program hotline and ask them to help you find someone safe to confide in. That's exactly what that benefit is for." (or, if no EAP, 'cause not everybody has one, then suggest that he ask his doctor or his doctor's staff to help him find a support group)

[bopper]

Semi-evil-bopper says: 'TMI! TMI!  Phil...I don't need to hear the gory medical details.  As your manager, what I need to know is how this will affect you at work.  For example, when will you be back, do you need to work half days, do you need a reduced load for a bit, how can we support you,  etc. If you need support healthwise, I hear that the XYZ syndrome discussion boards are great. I can send you a link."

[Stormtreader]

The answer is almost every single minute of my vacation time is spent in hospitals.  Feel the relaxation.

Im so sorry you have to go through but the last comment here did make me giggle