Author Topic: The Gifts Must Come Here!  (Read 6198 times)

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Lynn2000

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Re: The Gifts Must Come Here!
« Reply #15 on: December 18, 2013, 07:11:07 PM »
My mom has two sisters and a brother.  Growing up we'd always have household Christmas and then everybody would meet up at my grandparents' house for family Christmas.  Well, that's how it worked for my mom's family and her sisters' families.  My uncle's family would have their household Christmas at and during family Christmas.  So my brothers, all but two of my cousins, and I would open one present from our grandparents while two of my cousins would open their grandma/pa present plus all the presents from their parents plus all the presents from "Santa."  It annoyed the heck out of me, not because they got so many gifts, but because it was so time consuming and, frankly, showy.

Oh, this happened in my family once. One branch of the family was out of town over Christmas, so our extended family Christmas was also their "get gifts from their branch" Christmas. Awkward all around. Knowing there would be gifts given to some people, gifts were bought for all, including me and my parents... who hadn't been told about the change. So we received more substantial gifts than usual, but had nothing to give in return. Not the worst situation, but that kind of thing drives my mom crazy, and it was mildly uncomfortable. Plus, all the kids had so many presents that opening them took forever--the good-sized living room was so full of gifts "around" the tree you could hardly get to some of the chairs. Fortunately, this was apparently a one-off, not the new tradition.
~Lynn2000

lowspark

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Re: The Gifts Must Come Here!
« Reply #16 on: December 19, 2013, 10:48:06 AM »
Does Judy (& family) give gifts to your family? Will she be shipping those to your house? Shipping them to your parents' house? Or bringing them with her to your parents' house when they come over?

m2kbug

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Re: The Gifts Must Come Here!
« Reply #17 on: December 22, 2013, 06:36:03 PM »
Judy's thinking is a little strange.  Fine to ship them if you don't plan on seeing them, but typically I would expect to exchange the gifts at the family gathering.  I've brought my kids' gifts with us if we're out of town for Christmas but if were were staying home in the morning and traveling to the family in the afternoon, I would expect to receive/give gifts with the family at that time. 

I would just repeat what you said if she brings it up again.  If Judy has a good reason to have the gifts shipped that's fine.  Maybe they just don't have the space for transporting them, which would make sense, or she can't keep track of the toys or something.  I would rather avoid shipping costs if I could and see my family unwrap their presents. 

checkitnice

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Re: The Gifts Must Come Here!
« Reply #18 on: December 23, 2013, 05:49:55 PM »
Does Judy (& family) give gifts to your family? Will she be shipping those to your house? Shipping them to your parents' house? Or bringing them with her to your parents' house when they come over?

This.  As a child, I remember having about a bazillion "Christmases" between all the family meetups.  But mostly, what about her gifts for you?  Are they safely nestled under YOUR tree, with her having shipped them to you by now? 

MommyPenguin

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Re: The Gifts Must Come Here!
« Reply #19 on: December 23, 2013, 06:18:56 PM »
My mom has two sisters and a brother.  Growing up we'd always have household Christmas and then everybody would meet up at my grandparents' house for family Christmas.  Well, that's how it worked for my mom's family and her sisters' families.  My uncle's family would have their household Christmas at and during family Christmas.  So my brothers, all but two of my cousins, and I would open one present from our grandparents while two of my cousins would open their grandma/pa present plus all the presents from their parents plus all the presents from "Santa."  It annoyed the heck out of me, not because they got so many gifts, but because it was so time consuming and, frankly, showy.

Oh, this happened in my family once. One branch of the family was out of town over Christmas, so our extended family Christmas was also their "get gifts from their branch" Christmas. Awkward all around. Knowing there would be gifts given to some people, gifts were bought for all, including me and my parents... who hadn't been told about the change. So we received more substantial gifts than usual, but had nothing to give in return. Not the worst situation, but that kind of thing drives my mom crazy, and it was mildly uncomfortable. Plus, all the kids had so many presents that opening them took forever--the good-sized living room was so full of gifts "around" the tree you could hardly get to some of the chairs. Fortunately, this was apparently a one-off, not the new tradition.

This makes me really glad that we didn't do this!  My husband didn't want to have so many present-openings, so he wanted to have us do our kids' presents at his family's get-together (with his parents, his brother, our SIL, and nephews).  We don't go overboard with the presents for the kids, we have a $50 limit and so each kid has 2-3 things, but then they also have a few gifts for each other and we have gifts for each other, so you'd end up with everybody in our family opening about 3-4 more gifts than everybody else.  I suggested we find another time to do it, so we'll be doing our in-family opening tomorrow.  Glad to hear that I was right to push for that, based on other people's experiences.

GSNW

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Re: The Gifts Must Come Here!
« Reply #20 on: December 25, 2013, 12:39:32 AM »
Does Judy (& family) give gifts to your family? Will she be shipping those to your house? Shipping them to your parents' house? Or bringing them with her to your parents' house when they come over?

We always exchange gifts in the group I described - my parents, grandparents, DH, Judy, her husband, and their kids.  This has been the standard for years whether we are all together on Christmas or not (for example, Christmas last year was at Judy's and DH and I were in San Fran- we shipped gifts both ways).  I checked with my mom and she is also not shipping gifts but waiting until we are all together.  No one minds, truly, if Judy's family unit wants their own private Christmas.  We will all be together later in the day anyway.

Thipu1

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Re: The Gifts Must Come Here!
« Reply #21 on: December 25, 2013, 10:52:22 AM »
Maybe Judy doesn't want to have to worry about keeping the gifts accounted for and transported back home?  I know that with a large group (at least one as large as my extended family, which can run up to 25-30 if everyone attends), it gets hard to keep everyone's gifts accounted for and stored for the afternoon of the get-together, especially if any of the gifts are large or have lots of little pieces.

I thought about this aspect as well.  A small, family Christmas at home can be chaotic enough. 

Having a child choosing a toy to take to an extended family gathering can be a major project. 

Getting the kids into the car when they're already psyched can make things worse. 

Add the second excitement of opening presents, cousins running around showing each other everything and then trying to get the new gifts home can put the Kibosh on anybody's Christmas.   

cattlekid

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Re: The Gifts Must Come Here!
« Reply #22 on: December 26, 2013, 05:37:53 PM »
Yep.  We just had two little cousins (one eight, one 10) and they still managed to mangle together each other's Lego sets in a manner of minutes, even though they were cautioned to only open one Lego set at a time. 

I thought about this aspect as well.  A small, family Christmas at home can be chaotic enough. 

Having a child choosing a toy to take to an extended family gathering can be a major project. 

Getting the kids into the car when they're already psyched can make things worse. 

Add the second excitement of opening presents, cousins running around showing each other everything and then trying to get the new gifts home can put the Kibosh on anybody's Christmas.   

blarg314

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Re: The Gifts Must Come Here!
« Reply #23 on: December 29, 2013, 08:42:06 PM »
And if she expects you to ship the gifts to her instead of carrying them with you, you might remind her that it costs an arm and a leg to ship things (voice of experience here!) and there's no guarantee things will arrive on time.

That's what occurred to me - shipping can easily cost more than the gift did, unless you're having it shipped directly via Amazon free shipping or something. If I do have to ship a gift, I'm much more likely to go the Amazon route so it doesn't double the cost of the gift.

GSNW

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Re: The Gifts Must Come Here!
« Reply #24 on: January 02, 2014, 03:06:52 PM »
And to clarify, Judy's daughters are 13 and 14, hardly small enough to cause an uproar or any other kids of Christmas day chaos.  Judy didn't say anything about the gifts that were awaiting her family when they arrived, and they were eager to exchange with the rest of the group.  It really seems to be a one-off event, which is good.