General Etiquette > Holidays

Holidays Alone and New "love"

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RavenousEdenFleur:
Hi everyone! So this is one of my first holiday seasons that I don't have anywhere to go. I only get one day off for Christmas and New Years so traveling is out of the question.I was trying to figure out what to do on my own and get over those holiday blues!

I am going through a recent break up. Someone I have been dating for a bit and I liked him a lot.I met his family and I was going to go to his house for Christmas, but we broke up on friendly terms but he has a VERY recent new girlfriend and I have someone new I am seeing but it is very casual and we are being quiet about it,since he is friends with my ex....

ETA- Ex said the invite to Christmas still stands since his family adores me and he still thinks fondly of me... but his new girlfriend will be there. That is a whole other etiquette issue.


He has a huge family in the area and they are having a similar Christmas to what my family has :) He knows I will be alone but hasn't extended any invite, but I get it, it's probably too soon.However I had mentioned New Years to him and possibly getting a drink since our plans are not set in stone. He is very non committal when it comes to plans with me. I know he likes me a lot, all other signs point to it.. am I just bummed about not being able to go home and taking things to heart?

Should I just forget about the holidays with this new fella and go on my own and we can share stories later, or be very direct like "hey this is what I want, let's meet up!" I feel like I am now just fishing for invites which seems very against etiquette.

mbbored:
I agree that going to the Ex's is not a good idea and you don't want to rush the new guy into inviting you. I highly recommend that you make plans of your own for the day: cook a fabulous meal, watch a movie marathon, etc. Holidays alone don't have to be terrible or sad.

lady_disdain:
Yeah, don't go to the Ex's. While he may have meant it well, there is a lot of potential for disaster. If the breakup had been longer ago and you were still friends, it might be doable but it is too soon. For you, for him and for his new girlfriend. Have a Christmas that is all about you: get nice things to eat, get a good book or movie marathon, play that new game you want, pamper yourself with your favourite products, etc.

However, I don't think you are wrong in trying to get firm plans for New Year's Eve. If he doesn't want to make plans, then go ahead and make your own. Go to a great party with friends, have a game night if that is your thing or invite a few people over for a comfortable evening. When he does decide to make plans, fit him into yours. He doesn't get to call the shots and leave you waiting: either he gets his plans together or he goes along.

Lorelei_Evil:

--- Quote from: mbbored on December 18, 2013, 01:45:09 AM ---I agree that going to the Ex's is not a good idea and you don't want to rush the new guy into inviting you. I highly recommend that you make plans of your own for the day: cook a fabulous meal, watch a movie marathon, etc. Holidays alone don't have to be terrible or sad.

--- End quote ---

Absolutely!  One of my favorites Christmasses was the one I spent doing exactly as I pleased.  I ordered in Chinese food and watched movies all day long.  I never even got dressed!  I didn't even open my present until after dinner. 

I hear you.  I always got dumped right before Christmas.

MindsEye:

--- Quote from: Lorelei_Evil on December 18, 2013, 08:40:48 AM ---
--- Quote from: mbbored on December 18, 2013, 01:45:09 AM ---I agree that going to the Ex's is not a good idea and you don't want to rush the new guy into inviting you. I highly recommend that you make plans of your own for the day: cook a fabulous meal, watch a movie marathon, etc. Holidays alone don't have to be terrible or sad.

--- End quote ---

Absolutely!  One of my favorites Christmasses was the one I spent doing exactly as I pleased.  I ordered in Chinese food and watched movies all day long.  I never even got dressed!  I didn't even open my present until after dinner. 

--- End quote ---

POD to all of this! 

Holidays alone are only sad if you sit there and brood on how lonely and sad you are.  Make it a "pamper RavenousEdenFleur day".  Eat what you want to eat, do what you want to do.

And do make plans for New Years! 

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