General Etiquette > Family and Children

Jan Unbrady is having a second baby shower

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mrsbrandt:
Just when I think the Unbrady's have calmed down enough to be somewhat normal.  They go and surprise me again.  Jan (Unbrady wife married to Greg) is due for her second baby (a boy) in February.  Her sister has decided to throw her a second baby shower.  Jan's first child a girl is about 28 months old. 

Jan emailed me and told me to save the date and I should be getting an invite in the mail or something.  Apparently, Jan's parents have just bought her brand new baby furniture, which is very  nice and means they have even fewer expenses.  Jan is also hoping that the guests will buy her a new double stroller and some other big ticket items. 

I am appalled.  First this is a second baby shower, the first baby isn't even 3 yet.  Jan has all of her old baby items and they're in fine shape.  Secondly, this is being done by her sister - at Jan's request.  TACKY...  You just don't ask someone to throw you a baby shower.  Thirdly, Jan really wants people to bring their children with and will be "disappointed" if we don't.  (I'm going to be 7.5 months pregnant, I don't really want to bring DD.  It's a 2 hour car trip each way.) 

Is it rude of me to not want to bring my child to certain events.  I view baby/bridal showers as mostly adult events.   I know others disagree on the adult event status and that's okay.  But, in this case am I being rude if I've been asked to bring my child and then don't?

BTW She has a registry for the new baby and the ONLY thing on the registry are GIFTCARDS!!!

Bob Ducca:
I agree that the entire situation is appalling.   :P

You are not required to bring your child simply because it is requested, nor are you required to attend simply because you were invited.  Given your own delicate condition, it might be best to send your regrets and well-wishes.  Only.

If you feel you have to go, okay, but really, you don't have to take your child anywhere you don't feel comfortable doing so.

fklwmn:
Not rude. Your DD has been 'invited' I see this no different that if you and your DH were invited to a wedding, and you chose to attend, though he was busy. *if* you want to attend, just RSVP for one. 2 hours each way with a 2 year old for a baby shower? no thanks.

Evil Duckie:
It is a tacky situation.

As to taking DD to the shower. If you don't want to then don't. In fact you don't have to go yourself. I know that when I was 7.5 months pregnant I fell like travel much so we didn't.

There is no rule saying that one must go to all event that you are invited to. You are only required to let the host know if you are or are not going to be there.

mrsbrandt:
I think you're all very right.  I will go to this babyshower, but I'm going to see if I can't carpool with MIL.  I just hate the idea that I'm being hit up for another baby shower gift.  I'm excited they're having a kid (even if she did trick her DH into it), but darnit I'm going to be buying another gift once this baby is born.  Oh well, it's time to just suck it up and deal - instead of getting some cute bedding they're getting two smaller less expensive presents...Oh and there is a registry for this baby already.

THE ONLY ITEM ON THE REGISTRY IS TARGET GIFTCARDS!

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